coopernicus said...Can I be the cranky yet benign curmudgeon with the heart of gold of whom everyone is intimidated except the mysterious purple haired maiden who wanders into town to save the local dog catcher from making a fatal mistake with a guinea pig?
You bet yer bippy. I aim to please. Wilford Brumley will play your part. You've become a curmudgeon because of your job as the local dog catcher. You are haunted by that tragic day when you herded up all the local guinea pigs thinking they were prairie dogs (ya know, what with being a "dog" catcher and all) and had them euthanized.
San said... Lime's gonna put me in the movies. She's gonna make a big star out of me. And all I gotta do is act naturally. You bet, babe. Cast me as someone outlandish. Cast me as a villain. Cast me as a vixen. Cast me as a dead body lying in a coffin. Just cast me, baby. Cast me.
Well San, be careful what you wish for. I'm wrapping up Coopernicus' wish with yours. Who could be more outlandish than the purple-haired Dame Edna. When you are using what you thought was a love potion to ensnare Coopernicus you inadvertently brought back to life all those prairie dogs he killed. In the end, you'll need no magic potion since your effervescence will naturally charm the benign curmudgeon who will mourn your loss when in the end the critters do you in.
Lisa said...A bit part to raise "phain" from the dead or play the long lost sister with amnesia? Ha!!
Rodents will not be the only ones raised from the dead. San will also inadvertently bring Phain back who will serve as the Undead Queen of the Prairie Dogs. Phain was once a renowned prairie dog scientist but met her demise when her subjects revolted and dragged her into their tunnels. Aaliyah will portray Phain as Queen of the Damned Rodents. Yeah, we'll raise her from the dead to do it.
Craver Vii said... What?! Hamsters don't attack. Oh, they're radioactive? Nevermind then.
Craver, you are Gene Wilder as the mad scientist who unleashes radioactive hamsters on the planet in hopes that they can overpower the zombie prairie dogs and their vampiric queen. Sadly, it does not end well for you because the Zombie Prairie Dogs turn the radioactive hamsters into zombies as well which then turn on you, their creator.
airplanejayne said... MEMEMEMEMEMEME! I wanna be in da movie!!!
APJ, you will be Craver's assistant. You're a pole dancer with a heart of gold. If not for your strength, compassion, and dogged determination, Craver's failure would doom all of humanity. Hence, Julia Roberts will reprise an Erin Brockovitch type role to portray you as you combat the zombified, radioactive hordes.
Mona said... I would LOVE to see you as a director & act in your movie! But please don't have plastic dinosaurs chasing me! & don't let James be the script writer!
Wish granted Mona, but you'll be running from herds of zombified and radioactive rodents. Your only line (which will be repeated ad nauseum) is "AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!" We will at least have you portrayed by the lovely Aishwarya Rai.
G-Man said...Is there a 'casting couch' involved? If yes...Count me in!!!
Sorry, there's no casting couch but we can have you ride in like a bad ass biker and rescue Mona. Dennis Hopper will portray you? The two of you will escape just before it is revealed that Mona carries the spawn of a radioactive hamster who overpowered her. You'll tend to her through the ridiculously quick pregnancy and grueling delivery when she births Harvey the Wonder Hamster who may just be the hope of the world.
~Tim said... You know, people used to get me and Clint Eastwood mixed up. Yeah, when he was mayor of Carmel people would call the office and ask, "Is Tim there?"
Tim, you'll be the mayor of the plagued town. You're unwilling to admit there is a problem until it's far too late, not unlike certain people in the government and financial sectors today. You'll die when you are beguiled by Phain who eats you for lunch.
Beach Bum said... I'm throwing in with Mel and Clint.
You're the deputy mayor of questionable sanity, who is so busy hanging out on the beach you don't even hear Tim's cries for help or the stampeding herd of radioactive-zombie-rodents as they thunder over the dunes to eat you.
citizen of the world said...Who wouldn't want to be in your movie?
Breazy said... if you need me let me know and I will help in anyway I can.
The two of you will be Tim's and Beach Bum's wives who recognize the danger and decide to skip town when your husbands refuse to heed your warnings. Susan Sarandon and Gina Davis will portray the two of you. With all of law enforcement busy with radioactive, zombified rodents you can have an uninterrupted crime spree that doesn't have to end with you driving into the Grand Canyon.
Suldog said...It would be utterly repugnant of me to tag you, but then beg off from being cast. OK. Fire away!
You're the assistant to Tim and Beach Bum. They have no respect for your opinion even though you're likely smarter than the two of them combined. You've been warning them that there is someone who can help but since he's that creepy foreign guy they don't want to listen and only poke you in the eye. Your part will be acted by Curly.
lecram said...You know I'm in and I'll even take the part of the creepy foreigner.
You may be creepy but you are the hope of the town if people would just get over themselves and listen to you. Many years ago you shared a particular brand of island mojo with some scientists who found it useful but after decades of life in this narrow-minded burg you're happy to let them be eaten by the zombie rodents if they don't want to listen to you. Harold Sakata (aka Odd Job from Goldfinger) will portray you.
mssolitaire said...you know I'd love to act in your crazy life bio-pic!
This is a life bio-pic? Wow! Well, in that case I guess you'll portray me. I'll be lecram's one friend in town. Growing up in a purple house made me sensitive to the folks most people shun. My mother was a hamster and my father smelt of elderberries too so I take a similar perverse delight in watching the cruel townspeople reap what they've sown. I'm also the midwife Gman summons when Mona gives birth to Harvey the Wonder Hamster. We're going to have you channel Stockard Channing's character from "Where the Heart Is" because in spite of what some goofy online thing says I think she looks more like me than the other celebrity matches. I also loved when that particular character used to pray at the breakfast table each morning for God to bless the food and "forgive the fornication which took place on this here table last night."
Rob said... Well, since I don't have a blog of my own, I guess a role in your movie is out for me!...
Well, Rob, I am an EOE filmmaker so blogger or not, if you wanna be in you're in. We'll just make you the mysterious but sagacious next door neighbor. You'll easily survive the radioactive-zombie-rodent plague due to your arcane knowledge of the secret voodoo curses known only to lecram and the members of the Manhattan Project.
VE said...Ooooh...I can't wait for the film. I hope Harvey the Wonder Hamster gets a bit part in it too...VE didn't indicate a willingness to act in the movie but I am guessing from his enthusiasm about rodentia that he would function well as the Hamster, Guinea Pig, and Prairie Dog Wrangler. His outfit, "Furballs Ltd." will be supplying the necessary extras for the climactic scene. Harvey the Wonder Hamster will portray himself as the hero of our picture.
barman said...If you need any filler you can pitch me in... or not. Actually I would love to help out with the behind the scenes. Lighting or sound or even key grip what ever that is???
Key grip it is. Here are my keys. Keep a good grip on them so I can get home at the end of the day.
S said... OK waitaminit. How are you gonna make a movie with all these people living in different parts of the world? I didn't know you knew how to do that. Can you teach me some stuff? Maybe I'll just hang around and learn stuff. How's that?
You'll be my personal assistant. Just sit back and behold the wonder that is my writing, producing, and directing. Hey, that makes you my gopher! You're not radioactive are you?