Everybody Gets the Blues

Thanks to each one of you for the words of encouragement. The whole thing really knocked me for a much bigger emotional loop than I ever imagined. There really is a lot for me to be thankful for. That I am walking around intact is the biggest and most obvious thing to be thankful for. My head is clearing slowly. I am trying to take each thing as it comes along and trying to trust that as they are each attended to things will work out. The need for a vehicle is pretty big right now since we had no collision on poor old Beulah and she is totaled...although it does mean mom taxiing is forcibly curtailed right now, which is necessary if I am going to get the rest I need for my head to function. It's a very weird thing to feel like I am 2 steps behind the rest of the world and to be grasping for words sometimes.

I certainly spent the weekend with a very bad case of the blues but I'm working my way upward, thanks in part to the prayers, kind words and understanding of so many of you. When you get the blues you either gotta sing about it or find a way to laugh. I looked for the movie scene from Yellowbeard that I mentioned made me chuckle in the ER but couldn't find it so instead I'll share a little wisdom about the blues. This is not original to me. It came in an old email from a friend.

HOW TO SING THE BLUES

1. Most blues begin with "Woke up this morning..."

2. "I got a good woman..." is a bad way to start the blues, unless you stick in something nasty in the next line.
2a. Insert "da da da da DANH" between lines.
I got a good woman- da da da da DANH
with the meanest dog in town.

3. Blues are simple. After you have the first line right, repeat it, then find something that rhymes, sort of.
Got a good woman
with the meanest dog in town.
Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher
and weighs 'bout 500 pounds.

4. The blues are not about limitless choice and opportunity.

5. Blues cars are Chevies and Cadillacs. Other acceptable blues transportation is the Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Walkin' also plays a major role in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die.

6. Teenagers can't sing the blues. Adults sing the blues. Blues adulthood means old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.

7. You can have the blues in New York City but not in Brooklyn or Queens. Hard times in Vermont or North Dakota are just a depression. Chicago, St. Louis and Kansas City are still the best places to have the blues.

8. The following colors do not belong in the blues: violet, beige, mauve.

9. You can't have the blue in an office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Cubicles are the exception to this rule. Other bad places include ashrams, gallery openings, and weekends in the Hamptons.

10. Good places for the blues include the highway, the jailhouse, the empty bed.

11. No one will believe it's the blues if you wear a suit, unless you happen to be an old black man.

12. You have the right to sing the blues if your first name is a southern state like Georgia, you're blind, you shot a man in Memphis, you can't be satisfied.

13. You do not have the right to sing the blues if you once were blind but now can see, you're deaf, you have a trust fund.

14. Neither Barbara Streisand nor Julio Iglesias can sing the blues.

15. If you ask for water and baby gives you gasoline, it's the blues. Oter blues beverages are wine, whiskey, muddy water.

16. Blues beverages do not include any mixed drink, and wine kosher for Passover, Yoo Hoo, Perrier.

17. If it occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a blues death. So is the electric chair, substance abuse, or being denied treatment in the ER. It is not a blues death to die during liposuction.


Now check this poor dog with the blues.






Now feel free to write your blues song in the comments. Since I am prone to breaking the rules you ought to know I would relish seeing you do so.