Memes Aplenty

Start with your name:
Supreme Exalted Empress Lime

If your ex REALLY needed you at 3 am, would you go to his/her house?
Are you completely insane?

When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face?
You can break your hand doing that. A heel of the hand in a sharp upward thrust to the nose works better.

What are the last three things you spent money on?
A fur-lined sink
An electric dog polisher
Snipe hunting gear

What was the last thing you cried about?
Thanks for bringing up such a painful memory! Why dontcha just gimme a paper cut and pour lemon juice in it now!

Could you go a day without eating?
Where would I have to go?

Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with a J?
I have and it was absolutely toe-curlingly, mind-alteringly fabulous.

Do you smoke weed regularly?
Is smoking it a more effective means of preserving it for the long winter than canning it is?

Drugs are bad?
Your syntax sure is if that's your idea of an interrogative sentence. I mean maybe it could pass in a bit of dialogue if you are expressing shock and disbelief over such a notion as if it were some sort of new revelation, in this context, not so much.

Has anyone ever told you they're in love with you?
Yes, and it was toe-curlingly, mind-alteringly wonderful.

When was the last time you were disappointed?
I think I covered that enough last week, thank you very much.

Has a girl ever seriously punched you?
As opposed to comically punching me?

What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
Wouldn't you like to know...

Have you kissed two different people in one night?
I've kissed 3 different people in under a minute when I tucked my wee limelets in bed.

Is it easy for others to make you feel awkward?
Is awkward easy? Does he want to be felt? Why don't the people trying to compel me to do it just feel awkward themselves?

In the past week have you felt stupid?
No, he won't let me feel him.

Have you ever been outside completely naked?
How else does one skinny dip, or in my case, chunky dunk?

What would happen if you had a baby with the last person you kissed?
That would be a biological impossibility so I reckon I'd become rich and famous from the book deal and movie rights.

Who did you text the most yesterday?
Well, a couple of Pre-Columbian scholars and I were working on a Mayan codex.

What were you doing at 10pm Friday night?
That is just long enough ago for me to have a hard time remembering. My short term memory is shot. What were we talking about?

What are your plans for today?
Designing the new flag for when I overthrow Lichtenstein. Whaddya think of tie dye for a national flag?

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?
Again, where do I have to go and why can't I stay put and do these things?

What was the last reason you went to the doctor for?
I was driven to the doctor due to a deep, dark depression caused by my dismay over the death of grammar.

What is the last thing you yelled aloud?
HUMUHUMUNUKUNUKUPUA'A!

What do you think of when you think of Australia?
Mmmm.....Hugh...

What's one action you do when you're really nervous?
Nail biting. I favor the roofing nails over 2 penny nails.

Would you rather give up the computer or the TV?
Give it up for what? Give it up for Lent? Give it up for adoption? Give it up for dead?

One word that explains perfectly how you feel at the moment?
Desultory

Do you care if people hate you for no reason?
How is the hatred being expressed?

How hard is your life right now?
On the Mohs Scale it's somewhere between talc and diamonds.

Have you ever taken anyone for granted?
Perhaps, but I'd rather take them for ice cream. It's nice on a summer day.