I missed the opening ceremonies of the Vancouver Olympics but I've been catching the games here and there since then. I've realized I get the biggest kick out of the events on ice. I love the skill, speed, and grace. The events on snow don't interest me quite as much because of the dominance of faddish things like snowboarding. The biathlon seems like fun though. Cross country skiing and shooting just strikes me as practical from the hunter/trapper days and yet slightly goofy in an endearing way.
Curling cracks me up entirely. I don't mean that in a mocking way. It's the one sport in the games I'd really like to try and could possibly put together a version out of items I have on hand. I have a broom, a bunch of sawdust, and I figure I could either fill my tea kettle with sand or use my iron as the curling stone. It looks like the sort of game a bunch of guys sitting around drinking Labatt's invented because none of them could stand up on skates. They must have been the handful of Canadians who can't ice skate and yet they succeeded in getting it to be an Olympic sport, one a woman in the second trimester of pregnancy is even competing. What other sport sees middle aged guys and pregnant women competing side by side at a world class level? That's the sort of thing that gives a klutz like me some real hope.
It is in this spirit of inventing sports I could actually succeed in I am going to propose a few new ones. I invite you to submit your proposals as well.
1. Yesterday I started with a horrid head cold. It could bring a whole new level of meaning to "hockey." Alternately, I could be a loogie-er instead of a luger.
2. I wound up making 50 fastnachts yesterday. I have a few leftover. I suggest instead of discus or horseshoes we have the donut toss. We can have events for both distance and accuracy. Freeze them and they'd make dandy hockey pucks too.
3. Another donut related idea is to take the guns away from biathletes and replace them with small donut cannons. Make the fastnachts big enough and we can replace the skis with donuts as snowshoes. Maybe we could even dip the donuts in gold, silver, and bronze to use as award medals. Have I mentioned I made a LOT of fastnachts?
4. At work the boss seemed pleased with how quickly I reconciled billing statements and collated piles of forms. There's another new girl at work too. Poor thing had a terrible time with the paper shredder yesterday. I think we could easily come up with some sort of triathlon event involving shredding, collating, and reconciling. Style points could be awarded for staple placement and colorful highlighting.
Ok, you're up. What sports do you want to invent and see added to the next Olympics?