Wednesday, April 07, 2010

On Occasion I Strike Myself Speechless Too

As regular readers of this blog likely know, I am a migraine sufferer. I have medication I take to try preventing them and medication to take if I get one anyway. I prefer to have them treated chiropractically because I don't really like to take meds if I don't have to. Now that I work for the guy who has treated me for 16 years I can get that treatment for free (there are 2 others chiropractors in the office as well). In addition to the regular spinal adjustments he does some cranial work when I get a headache. This involves him checking the various spots on my skull where the bones meet and pressing them until there is some release of tension. It is important to note he describes it as making sure my noggin feels like a ripe melon instead of like a bowling ball. It sounds strange perhaps, but it helps a great deal.

Now that you have the background I will share an exchange from earlier this week.

Me: (Getting off the massage therapist's table from having her work on me over lunch. She did some deep tissue work which left me a bit unsteady for a few minutes.) Hey, Doc. Would you adjust me before I have to get back to the desk. I need some cranial work too, please.

Number 1 Doc: (Calling from his office in the back.) Yep, grab a table I'll be up in a sec.

Me: (Walking to the adjusting area past 4 coworkers then noticing Number 2 Doc, who doesn't do cranial work, is already in the front) Since you're here can you give me an adjustment and then Doc #1 can come squeeze my melon?

Number 2 Doc: (His arches his eyebrows before an unusual silence descends upon everyone in the office.) Uh...sure....

Me: (As I begin to move onto the table and make eye contact with another coworker who is turning purple trying to stifle herself I have a sudden realization.) Oh...crap...uh...er....ya know, he's gonna work on my head....ack....(grabbing my head) I have a headache. Oh gees, MY HEAD, my SKULL! I meant my noggin!!! (Number 2 Doc and all the staff guffawing and making comments about whether or not our office should offer that type of service as I bury my face in the table and blush 14 shades of red.)

18 comments:

Craig said...

Oh, my. . .

I. . . nope; not gonna say it. . . wouldn't be prudent. . .

;)

Craig said...

You know, there are melons, and there are melons. . .

(Which, just for the sake of saying so, isn't the comment I was stifling above. . .)

Jazz said...

Welcome to my life. I think we were separated at birth.

Suldog said...

Anything I could offer would be strictly superfluous...

Hilarious.

G-Man said...

Trini...
You'd need more than a lunch break to completely and successfully sqeeze YOUR melons...:P

G-Man said...

See...?
Even the comment got me loopy!

SQUEEZE!!

furiousBall said...

i happen to know an amateur massage therapist that is an excellent squeezer of melons.

ok, it's me

coopernicus said...

i'm not going to laugh...i'm not going to laugh....

yes i am

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....

Cheesy said...

lololol I needed that!!!!

S said...

I knew you were trouble in the workplace.

Cricket said...

Sexually harassing yourself, huh? You should contact a lawyer, sounds like a good publicity stunt, if nothing else.

I would have to disagree on the meds though. I enjoy them most especially when I don't need them. ;-)

Ananda girl said...

Hahahaha... open mouth, insert foot. You are not alone. I do my share and then some. ;-)

Craig said...

But hey - God bless you, that you can blush at something like that. . .

Hilary said...

LOL I bet your coworkers love you. You're a treat.. that's treat, not teat.

Beach Bum said...

I really think you have a strong case against yourself.

~Dragonfly~* said...

I'm shocked!!! I wouldn't have taken you for a "blusher" Too funny!!! I'm so glad you like your new job. It seems to be a win/win situation for you ..... and them!!! :)

Moosekahl said...

Ahhh...that made me smile! And having the tension points on my melon worked on during a migraine are wonderful too.

Jocelyn said...

Yea, and when you ask to have your "tush" squeezed, what's that a euphemism for? Huh? Huh?

Btw, I LOVED your comment about being just the friend to show up and throw a sleepover party and save me from that. You are totally that kind of rock star.