All those things that have gone from your life,
moon boots, TV trays and the Soviet Union, that
seem to have vanished, are really only changed.
Dinosaurs did not disappear from the earth but
evolved into birds and crock pots became bread
makers and then the bread makers all went to
rummage sales along with the exercise bikes.
Everything changes. It seems at times (only for
a moment) that your wife, the woman you love,
might actually be your first wife in another form.
It's a thought not to be pursued….Nothing is the
same as it used to be. Except you, of course,
you haven't changed…well, slowed down a bit,
perhaps. It's more difficult nowadays to deal with
the speed of change, disturbing to suddenly find
yourself brushing your teeth with what appears
to be a flashlight. But essentially you are the
same as ever, constant in your instability.
I tend to really hate change. I'm a creature of habit. I find comfort in routine and safety in ritual. And yet changes comes. Sometimes it is foisted upon me without warning and I rage against it like a spoiled child who has had her playtime interrupted for a nap. Sometimes I know it's needed but still I avoid it with every ounce of strength. If I see it coming from a distance and I am convinced of its value it's easy to embrace but I know I can be a hard sell. I'm not a gambler and I tend to think, "better the devil I know than the devil I don't know." I can move like a glacier when faced with the prospect of monumental shifts.
Then I am faced with the mirror in the bathroom, or the look in my children's eyes, or the thoughtful insight of a true friend and I recognize that even the glaciers march forward and recede with time and leave unmistakable marks on the landscape.
So tell me, what marks change in you and your life? How do you react to change?