Monday, June 28, 2010


Cooper did this crazy meme where he got questions Scarlett wrote, who got questions Annie wrote. I'm answering the questions Cooper sent out into the blogosphere. Then I'll toss a few of my own out there.

1. You are granted one careful. It will be fulfilled literally. What’s the wish? What are the consequence?
I'm having a tough time deciding between wishing to be an Oscar Meyer wiener and wishing for world peace.

2. You have 15 minutes before the world explodes. How do you spend the time?
Setting up my lawn chair for the best view.

3. You have the power to remove one person, place or thing from the planet. What is it?
No joke in this answer. The oil spill in the Gulf.

4. Amy Winehouse, Brittany Spears, Courtney Love: you have to invite one to your 8 year old daughter's birthday party. Which one and why?
Boy, am I relieved my daughter isn't 8 so I don't have to deal with this.

5. Your 25 year old son announces he’s engaged to LaToya Jackson and her parents will be at your house in 20 minutes. Your reaction?
Again, good thing my son isn't 25.

6. You’re having an intimate dinner with Dick Cheney and Nancy Pelosi. How’s it going?
After years of unspoken sexual tension they simultaneously launch themselves at each other across the table. Marinara flies everywhere, which just fires Nancy up even more and she begins licking it off Dick as they roll around amidst the garlic knots and salad. Understandably, I have lost my appetite.

7. If you could surgically enhance one feature on the person of your choice, who is the person and what is the feature?
The ears of my children so they can never again say they didn't hear me.

8. Jeannie or Samantha? / House or Derek Shepherd? (pick whichever makes your pulse to the rhumba)
Actually I think it would be a scream to pair up Jeannie or Samantha with House.

9. Give three reasons why CoffeeMate should not be taken internally.
#1. It doesn't actually contain anything vaguely food related.
#2. I consider coffee to be evil bean juice and never take that internally so why would I take its mate?
#3. I don't want Coffee getting more action than I do.

10. Chocolate or chocolate. Which would you choose?
Both, of course!

And now for my questions. Let me know if you decide to post your answers and add you rown questions.

1. What is the best use for canned peas since they are unfit for human consumption?
2. How many BP execs does it take to plug an oil well?
3.Where did you hide your last victim?
4. What one junk food or vice do you want researchers to discover is actually good for you?
5. Would you rather crawl on a track of razor blades then swim in a vat of lemon juice or listen to the collected works of Yoko Ono continuously for 24 hours while snuggling with Marilyn Manson?
6. Daisy Duke or Ellie Mae Clampett / Luke Duke or Jethro (as applies to your gender preference)?
7. Who? What? When? Where? How? And most importantly, why?
8. I almost much?
9. Dazzle me with some mad skillz I never knew you had.
10. What super power would you like to have and why?


Cricket said...

EVIL BEAN JUICE ?!?!? Now, look here, humor is all well and good, but when you start attacking my religion I have to draw the line.

Please cancel my subscription immediately.

Craig said...

2) Hey, could you save a spot for me next to you?

6) Right in front of Lynn?

9) #3 - I'm sorry; I just blew coffee out my nose. . .


And now for yours -

1) Small children sticking them up their noses

2) The more, the merrier

3) I don't hide my victims; I hang them from the front porch on public display

5) Please pass the razor blades & lemon juice. . .

7) Him/her (I forget which); that; then; there; and of course, because. . .

8) All I can get (unless, you know, I can't)

9) Hmmmmm. . . You probably wouldn't be so appreciative of my mental math capabilities, wouldja?

Craig said...

Or, hey - think of all that you could accomplish just by buzzing up some canned peas in a blender; you know - whirled peas, and all that. . .

Suldog said...

I'm with Cricket, but since I drink half-decaf I'm only 50% pissed off at you.

Craver Vii said...

Razor blades and lemon juice never sounded so good.

Coffeemate is a critical part of every day for me, since I am lactose intolerant and have to have my coffee. Even if it's only decaf (doctor's orders).

Ananda girl said...

Fun meme! I'll post my answers on Oodles of Funch on tomorrow, Tues sometime.

"Oscar Meyer weenie" Ha! I remember that joke. You got a good laugh out of me on that one.

Michelle H. said...

Sorry, peas are too evil to be used in anything. Nuke 'em all!

S said...

I like the way you want to watch the end of the world, may I join you? I will bring chocolate and champagne.

Thank you for your good gulf wishes. did you know that just by "talking to the water" we can help heal it? Now, I know it's super messed up, but good thoughts can never hurt, at least.

Anonymous said...

I bow to you oh Queenie.

secret agent woman said...

I don't understand #8. Why don't I know who these people are?

(M)ary said...

Hey....I answered the questions you asked and asked 10 of my own over on my blog...

You stumped me with the yoko ono/marilyn manson question!

Trueself said...

Hey there. I, a lurker you probably didn't even know existed, answered your questions and asked a few of my own over on my blog. Drop by and see!

G-Man said...

She can drive the kids around on her lap in her car...

Jocelyn said...

Oh, you've made me eleven again: Luke Duke.