Setting: Last hour of the business day. Office has only a couple other patients when one walks in.
Me: (cheerily) Hi, Bob! How are you tonight?
Bob: (slumping over the sign in sheet) Ya got about an hour?
Me: Sure, we're not busy. What's up?
Bob: I'm too freakin' tired to spend the hour telling you.
Me: S'alright. You're here to be taken care of. Take a deep breath then let's get you adjusted and have your therapies then you can finish up with the massage therapist and walk out of here feeling a little relaxed.
Bob: Sounds great. I'm gonna go use the restroom first.
(Bob exits to the restroom then returns to the desk a few minutes later.)
Bob: (Leaning over the desk) Ya got a stapler I can use?
Me: (Picking up the stapler and wielding it in a menacing fashion) Sure, whaddya need me to staple?
Bob: (Looking alarmed before leaning in to whisper) Uh, my pants...I just split them.
Me: Yikes! Ok, Bob, I'm gonna trust you to use this stapler in a responsible fashion and without my assistance.
Bob: I appreciate you not insisting on stapling anything so close to that part of me.
Me: Not a problem. I aim to please.
(Bob exits to the restroom again. He walks somewhat carefully [so as to avoid being poked in the behind by staples] to the desk a few minutes later to return the stapler with thanks.)
Later as Bob checks out at the end of his visit...
Me: Feeling more relaxed now?
Bob: (Walking a bit gingerly) Yep, but I'd feel even more relaxed if staples weren't poking my rump.