Monday, July 12, 2010

Sound Off...

...where Lime expounds on various topics of no real importance.


Certain movies need to come with an excessive tissue usage warning label. During a brief cessation in hostilities between sisters, Diana and Calypso agreed we should rent The Time Traveler's Wife. I indulged them because they were getting along. Holy time-warping Moses on a pogo stick! I thought I might dehydrate through my eyes while I was watching that movie! I needed an IV drip of Young Frankenstein just to recover. (Fine, call me a wussy cry baby, I can take it. Just remember my unnaturally high pain tolerance and then we'll see who the wuss is.) After the high level of emotional strife during the previous few days I was in no state to endure that sort of emotional string pulling. Is it possible to sprain a tear duct? I'm pretty sure it is. I blame their father's influence (link to a brief example on a former blog of mine).


In the past I have very much enjoyed Bill Bryson's books. A Walk in the Woods is absolutely hilarious and I learned a lot from In a Sunburned Country. During my vacation though I found Notes from a Small Island nearly unreadable. It's not that it's poorly written. He comes off as irritatingly affected and I kept waiting for him to inject a "Pip pip and cheerio!" while he was praising tea trolleys and and double-decker buses. Dude, you were born in Iowa, for crying out loud. You can appreciate Britain without sounding like you think you were switched at birth with someone to the manor born.


The Know-It-All: One Man's Humble Quest to Become the Smartest Person in the World by A.J. Jacobs
, on the other hand, was great fun. Admittedly, I am a nerd who loves trivia and who read Funk & Wagnalls for fun as a kid so reading about some guy who wanted to work his way through the entire Encyclopedia Britannica intrigued me. Oh, and don't you fellow nerds out there try to pretend you wouldn't be interested in this! G-man, Suldog, Craig, Logo...I'm looking at you all.


Speaking of nerds (and I say that with complete affection and respect), Calypso recently acquired some Buddy Holly type glasses. She's so darned cute in them. I giggle every time I look at her wearing them and just want to tape up the bridge. She won't let me take a picture though so I can't show you. I can't imagine why she'd be reluctant.


In other odd fashion news, Dr. Hubba Hubba came to work wearing these shoes. They are the weirdest freaking excuses for footwear I have ever seen. They also made me laugh every time I looked at them. Yeah, I just know the laydeez will be going wild to play footsie with him now! And people mock me for my Birkenstocks...


A recent post at Cooper's made me realize that between the minuscule bits of fabric wedged into the butt cracks of shapely young girls (thus revealing the bottom half of their badonkadonks) and the style of young men who wear their swim trunks at "half mast" thus revealing their own cracks and top half of their rear ends there are a lot of half-assed ninnies running around on beaches and at swimming pools. I amused myself by imagining one of those picture books where the pages are divided in thirds so you can mix and match the faces, torsos, and legs of various cartoon characters only mixing and matching the top halves and lower halves of the exposed butt cheeks. A fertile imagination can be a dangerous thing. I apologize to anyone who was trying to eat while reading this.


So crack me up and reveal some things you'd like to sound off about.

18 comments:

Craig said...

". . . crack me up. . ." HAH!

You remind me of the time we went to Siesta Key during spring break, and 2F, who was 6 at the time, tugged on my arm and asked me, all innocent-like, "Daddy, how come that girl's butt is hangin' out?"

And you know, I used to read the encyclopedia when I was a kid. It was a Funk & Wagnalls, too. . .

And I am gettin' WAY too much amusement from the thought of yer hubs bringin' home The Killing Fields to lighten your mood. . .

crazy4coens said...

oh my on those shoes. oh my oh my oh my.

Beach Bum said...

...fabric wedged into the butt cracks of shapely young girls...

On our recent vacation at Discovery Cove I myself spent some time observing that same fashion habits. So much that my daughter noticed which did not sit well with my wife after my daughter loudly asked why daddy was looking at the girls in front of several of them.

I can dig those funky water shoes of Hubba Hubba's.

for a different kind of girl said...

I read Time Traveler's Wife, but haven't yet seen the movie. I think it's because the book took me forever to get through because it made me crazy annoyed in spots.

You should think about picking up "Reading The OED" sometime. It's not as humorous and fun and Jacob's books, but it's still fun for those of us who jones for words and trivia.

Eric Alder said...

Those shoes look like part of sme weird spaceman costume. I'll stick with my plain old sandals.

Cocotte said...

I LOVED 'The Know It All' and his other book about following the Torah for one year. Hilarious!

Saz said...

thing is notes from a small island is very true to life...it cracked me up...

he just loves it here...and l love it over there!!!


saz x

g-man said...

Lemme tell you something...
If a man walked up to me and wanted to touch me in ANY way whilst wearing those Gay-Ass shoes, I'd Bitch Slap the fucker to Vermont!!

Thanks...G

Jazz said...

Heh, I just started reading the Time Traveler's Wife a couple of days ago. Jury is still out on the "like it-don't like it" front.

As for those shoes, I know a couple of people who wear them to run. The are just so freaking bizarre.

S said...

As much as I hate closed toed shoes, that completely eliminates those weirdo sock shoe things because the toesies are each in their own little prisons....horrible
Chacos forever, WITH toe strap


Other thoughts:
I wish I could afford a drill that is tough enough to do more than screw 1/4" screws into drywall......

Time travelers wife was good, but I dont think it made me cry as much as Julie/Julia...
Oh wait, I remember now, I was crying because I was on a painfully long 14 hour flight from Frankfurt and not from the movie at all.....

Have a lovely day, Lime! ♥

S said...

I checked and they dont have a model of that shoe thing for people who have an extra long second toe...bummer...

:P

Casdok said...

Those shoes look very uncomfortable!

Ananda girl said...

Hands down those are the ugliest shoes ever!

The fashion yikes that makes me crazy is the trend where one thinks they need to show all their fat blurbs with a size or two too small.

Cricket said...

Um, yeah... those shoes?!?!?

That Doctor must be pretty Hubba Hubba if he's still gatting any action after showing up in that condition.

My wife has said, explicitly though unnecessarily, that she would consider my wearing Crocs grounds for divorce. I don't even want to think about those shoes... justifiable homicide, maybe?

Suldog said...

Yes, you're right, I would be interested in that. I'll probably pick it up over the weekend.

Re: Bryson - I'm an unabashed fan of everything he's written, and "Notes" was the first thing of his I read. I need to ask whether you had the American edition or the British edition? They differ slightly. If it was filled with footnotes and had a British-American glossary in the back, you had the American edition. Anyway, I suppose it doesn't make all that much difference, and to each his (or her) own! I highly recommend his "Life And Times Of The Thunderbolt Kid". It's his best, and completely about his growing up in Iowa, by the way. MY WIFE pestered me for years to write that book, but Bryson beat me to it :-)

secret agent woman said...

I haven't read that particular Bryson book - I hate to hear he can be un-funny.

And those five-finger shoes are u=just freaky. I saw them in a store and wondered who would buy them. I guess now I know.

coopernicus said...

those shoes look like someone had a three-martini lunch at the swim-fin molding plant....

Jocelyn said...

I don't want to leave a novel here in your comments, so I'll rein in: I hate it when parents send their small children outside to play but never, themselves, come out of the house to keep an eye on the kids. That means all the other parents of the neighborhood who ARE outside become babysitters of the Unwatched by default.