Monday, July 26, 2010

Trini Tuesday-Cover Letters

Suldog recently shared advice on how NOT to write a cover letter. I'd urge you all to go check it out but not until you've read and commented here. In my comment on his examples of truly deranged cover letters I shared how Mr. Lime had written a couple of his own. Lacking any other ideas I am now going to milk it for all it's worth in a blog post.

While we resided in Trinidad, William Jefferson Clinton was elected as President of the USA. When a new President is sworn in it is standard protocol for US ambassadors to resign and await reappointment. Of course, sometimes those ambassadors to more strategic nations are not reappointed because the new administration has a somewhat different agenda than the folks who appointed the previous ambassador. In due course, Mrs. Sally Cowell, the US Ambassador the the Republic of Trinidad & Tobago resigned. We hadn't been particularly impressed with her anyway (some of you may recall how I told her off) so Mr. Lime seized upon an opportunity and wrote a cover letter to President Clinton. Though his actual writing has been lost I do recall the gist of it.

Dear President Clinton, 

I am an American citizen living in Trinidad, West Indies.  Although I am a Republican and I didn't vote for you I am taking to heart your stated desire for cooperative efforts between the parties.  I am aware that our ambassador to Trinidad & Tobago has resigned.  I would like to apply for the position.  I came to Trinidad to establish a school program for special education students and economically disadvantaged children. I have built excellent rapport with many Trinidadians.  The goodwill I have been able to create will assist me in representing you and our nation.  My family and I can also live much more cheaply in our neighborhood than the ambassador can thus saving you money.  I anxiously await your reply.

Mr. Lime

In response Mr. Lime received a form letter thanking him for his support.  He was then compelled to draft a second letter which went something like this:

Dear Mr. President,

Obviously you didn't read my last letter too carefully because you failed to address my inquiry regarding the ambassadorship to Trinidad & Tobago.  As an educational expert I am concerned you may have some reading comprehension difficulties which I could help to remedy.  However, I'd still like to be considered for the position of U.S. Ambassador to Trinidad & Tobago.  The courtesy of a timely personal reply would be greatly appreciated.

Mr. Lime

It was at this point that I became convinced we were immediately placed on an intelligence list for monitoring  suspicious characters with questionable sanity.


Beach Bum said...

LOL!!!!! Maybe, the inmates are running the asylum and the rest of the country is just along for the ride.

Cocotte said...

LOL - yes, that second letter would have put you on 'The List!' And the government is NEVER interested in saving money, so that may have been Mr. Lime's first problem!

g-man said...

Suspicious indeed!!!

Craig said...

One question. . . with stones like that, how is it that he only begat three children?


Suldog said...

That's just plain hilarious. Did he receive another letter, or was there no response at all?

lime said...

beach bum, of that i am completely sure!

cocotte, excellent point.

g-man, fer sure

craig, the surgeon took care of that ;)

suldog, no further response.

~Dragonfly~* said...

I can't believe he didn't get the job!!!! Or a visit from the CIA!!!! :)

secret agent woman said...

Yup, he was put on the watch list for sure.

Cricket said...

You get put on a list for less than that, and this was way before Patriot Act/Homeland Security Theatre stuff.

My Mom (of all people) and most of her friends have FBI folders which they've seen (some of) through FOIA. Why? Social workers... work with the poor and stuff. Better keep an eye on 'em.

(M)ary said...

Mr. Lime deserved a better response than the one he received. Sorry you never got to be Mrs. Ambassador.

I used to write politicians all of the time and formed some partisan opinions based on the experience. The most personal and pointed repsonses came from Republicans which was ironic as I was often criticizing them. I never received a response from a Democrat. Ever.

From this I tend to believe that Republicans are better organized and Democrats are not as keyed into the people as they would have us believe they are.

My most favorite response came from John Ashcroft when I wrote him about human trafficking. I hated Ashcroft when he worked for Bush but at least his office could respond to a letter. (And he does good work trying to prevent trafficking of humans.)

If I based my voting on letter writing, I would always vote Republican. Those damn Democrats are lucky I am not using this as criteria.

Hilary said...

I can see how you two are meant for each other. :) Too funny.

Jocelyn said...

And here we go: I see you two as being a Fine Match in very specific ways now.

Smart asses.

LOVE it.

S said...

I think Mr Lime should have gotten the job, but yeah, he's prolly on the list now...


ttfootball said...

haha! thats GREAT! I love it