Have you talked to a complete a**hole today?
I prefer to talk to the other end of a person and I don't generally require people to pass an inspection of the posterior prior to conversation so I can't really say whether or not the folks I've spoken to lately have complete assholes or not.
Are you comfortable answering all these personal questions?
Let me kick off my shoes first, thankfully they are only sandals and not those weird shoes Dr. Hubba Hubba has....much easier to kick off.
Do you think relationships are even worth it?
Worth what? And do they have to be even? Sometimes they are more fun when they are odd.
If you could pack up and move, would you?
Is packing a prerequisite? Because I just stood up and did a really groovy gyration which I think counts as moving.
Do your parents really know you?
My birth parents couldn't pick me out of a police line-up I'm sure...unless I bear an uncanny resemblance to one of them. My real parents, who raised me, know me pretty well but I do manage to shock them on occasion.
When was the last time you laughed really hard?
Oh, it's not hard to make me laugh. It's pretty easy actually.
What are you wearing right now?
What are you excited for?
Certainly not the syntax here.
Has anyone told you lately that they would always be there for you?
What if I want them here instead of there?
What do you want right now?
Hugh Jackman covered in chocolate, a clean house, a full bank account, no debt, to be 2 sizes smaller, to never have another migraine, but I'll settle for a foot rub.
What were you doing at 8 this morning?
Do you fall for people easily?
If they stick a foot out while I am hurrying past, yes.
What is one word that you overuse?
If I over use it does it begin to fray at the edges or what?
What’s your mood?
Increasingly humid with a chance of scattered storms.
If you took a drug test, would you pass it?
Is this a written or oral test?
Do you regret doing something today?
Not yet, but give me some time.
Are you slowly drifting away from someone?
Wilson! Wilsoooon!!! WIIIIILLLLSSSSSSOOOOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What’s irritating you right now?
My undies are riding up. Hey, you're the one who asked.
Tell me what one of your friends is doing.
Do I look like the amazing Kreskin?
Are you stubborn?
I am the most compliant person you'll ever meet. Wait, let me practice saying that with a straight face.
Are you gonna be home alone tonight?
No. Now here this, all bad guys reading, I am going to be home with a contingent of large body guards all armed with AK-47s and each with a trained attack dog.
Who gave you your last compliment?
Complimentary what? You know nothing in life is free.
What is one thing you wish you had?
My marbles, oh wait..that's plural...dunno that having one marble is gonna do me much good though.
Do you still talk to the person you fell hardest for?
Not until the wire comes off my jaw. I fell so hard I broke it.
Would you rather go to Tokyo or Paris?
Yes, Athens, Rome, Madrid, Cochabamba, Port of Spain, and Melbourne too.
What are you allergic to?
Bananas, aspirin, and Neil Diamond
Has anyone ever complimented your eyes?
Well there was this one guy who complimented them well but wearing him in public was just a little outside the bounds of public decency.
Are you listening to music right now?
Do crickets and frogs count?
Who else is in the room with you?
In winter, would you rather wear jackets or hoodies?
Naw, just throw me naked into a snowstorm. What kind of asinine question is this?
Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
Maybe a little to the right.
How long can you go without your mobile phone?
Well, I went for several decades of my life without one.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Curing cancer, negotiating peace in the Middle East, solving world hunger, then after lunch...
Where did you last sleep other than your room?
It would be bad if I said, "Behind the wheel," right?
What’s the worst way to say “I love you”?
Probably by using a knife to carve it into the object of your affection