Calypso needed to go to the doctor. Since her tonsils looked like golf balls I wanted to know whether or not it was strep. She was just there last week for something else. The doctor walked into the room and asked what brought us here today. Calypso deadpanned, "I missed you so much I had to come see you again." The doctor laughed and said, "You know, I think we do need to put your picture on the wall of this particular exam room since it seems to be the one you're always in."
After that, Mr. Lime wanted to pick up a copy of his MRI report since we can't actually get into the neurologist until next month...unless there's something totally horrifying in the results. Not that we know what it means but apparently he has a Whooziewhatsit's cyst, a sinus infection, and an otherwise "unremarkable" noggin. I welcomed him to the club since I was told after my concussion and subsequent head-on collision that according to the CT scan I had my brain was also "unremarkable."
Next we stopped to get bananas and soup fixings since those were two foods which appealed to Calypso and little else did. As I was checking out, I noticed Mr. Lime snuck a 2.5 ft pepperoni onto the conveyor belt. I raised an eyebrow. He smiled and said it was good for Whooziewhatsit's cysts. I relented.
On the way home Calypso wielded the large pepperoni and announced she had found the perfect murder weapon. She could bludgeon her victim to death then eat the weapon. I countered that the pepperoni was likely not hard enough or weighty enough to bash in a skull fatally. It might bruise you but I doubted the lethality of such a weapon unless perhaps it were frozen first. Mr. Lime opined that freezing it would merely make the pepperoni so brittle it would snap on impact.
So dear reader, now it's your turn to weigh in on this important debate. Could a large pepperoni be successfully used as a murder weapon?