Wednesday, February 23, 2011

(Home)Slice of Lime-The Flyest Rednecks

I've mentioned in the past that we have fun in our office.   We have some wonderfully looney people working there.  Our office manager, who shall be henceforth referred to as HomeGirl, is born and bred in NYC.  She has lived here in comparatively rural Pennsylvania for just a couple of years.  It is not unusual for the city transplants to our area to not only find our "culture" (or lack thereof in their eyes) perplexing but frequently worthy of scorn and derision as being hopelessly backwards.  To them I say, "I-80 East to the George Washington Bridge. NYC is on the other side if you miss it so much."  Then there are the quieter subset of transplants who come with a willingness to learn, adapt, and share ideas.  Those I most heartily welcome and thank them for sharing the best parts of metropolitan life while learning about rural life.

HomeGirl is often perplexed. For example, during a staff meeting the boss said he was buying a cow and was willing to sell a side of it.  At that point I piped up and said I already had half a cow in my freezer and part of a deer.  Poor HomeGirl sat there with her eyes like saucers not knowing what was going on.  At lunch she asked me what on earth we meant.  She was astonished to learn you could buy an entire butchered bovine from people who raised them for slaughter.  When she asked about the deer and I told her how we hunt she was nearly as blown away as Bambi and remarked, "Damn, in the city all people do with guns is hunt each other.  I had no idea!"  To her credit, HomeGirl wants to understand the way things are done around here before forming an opinion on it.  I offered to take her target shooting.

HomeGirl does, however have an opinion on my fashion sense.  She's not critical, mind you.  She just can't get over that I don't dye my hair or wear make-up. She says I look fine but could look even better.  I have made her aware of my thoughts on hair dye.  She suggested a haircut at which point I agreed I was well overdue. But I have this mild phobia about hairdressers and my last haircut 3 years ago did nothing to help me overcome that.  See, I am at peace with having curly hair but the lady hacked my curls into oblivion and broke their spirit so they laid dejectedly upon my head.  HomeGirl very excitedly informed me I need a Dominican hairdresser because they know how to handle curls.  I asked her where the heck I am supposed to find a Dominican hairdresser around here.  She offered to take me to the city to HER Dominican.  Then she asked if she could do a total makeover on me.  I said if she was really willing to come shooting and promised not to dye my hair we'd do it.

And thus the exchange of culture began.  We haven't been able to make it work out yet due to various health issues in each of our respective families but we have an understanding.

One day, Mr. Lime came to the office sporting one of his 6 fluorescent orange hunting hats.  HomeGirl fell in love immediately....with the hat.  She never knew anyone who actually wore that color in public before and she said she wants a hat like that.  Now understand HomeGirl is ALWAYS stylishly dressed.  She is gorgeous.  She is fashionable.  She wants a fluorescent orange knit hat.  It was my turn to be perplexed and the incongruity nearly blew my circuits.

This week Mr. Lime presented her with her very own orange hat. I can't even describe how excited she was as she pulled it on and dragged Mr. Lime into a picture with her. So here they are sporting the season's most stylin' orange hats and throwing gang signs....they flyest rednecks around...Mr. Lime and HomeGirl.

17 comments:

Hilary said...

She sounds like a gem.. just as you are. The pic is great. :)

G-Man said...

So now she can take a stroll in the woods without fear of getting blasted!!!

Gledwood said...

I'd love to go shootin' but it's SO HARD getting a gun licence round here. Most people opt for stabbing instead!

Seriously now... it wasn't you then who hit that deer in the middle of the road and posted how it was hung up draining in the back room about to go in the freezer..? And we all posted, me included how that's what we'd do too. Why waste perfectly good venison? If you have a gun and the poor animal's still alive you have to shoot as an act of mercy.

I bet deer makes really really nice curry, have you tried that? Just make a thick stew with garam masala and other indian curry spices. I always use the least hot curry powder I can find which means you can have it strong on curry, low on heat, you can add loads... and though it shouldn't go with it, dumplings are really nice.

What I actually do is add paprika to curry powder 50:50 it somehow demysterializes the spicing without making anything less spicy and produces a superior and eminently tasty dish for breakfast/lunch/dinner/supper/midnightfeast... why not try it! Also baby potatoes and Chinese water chestnuts are nice in the mix

And huge sprigs of fresh herbs! Fresh sage, thyme, rosemary (towards the beginning); Fresh parsley, mint (towards the end) hey and you could throw in Scarborough Fair!

Dave said...

A civilised girl from the BIG CITY huh? I think I can imagine how she might feel now working with country bumpkins! You teach her a trick or two Michelle and soon she will be as uncouth as the rest of you! :-) (Hey, I'm joking!) - Dave

Bijoux said...

Mr. Lime? Pretty fly for a white guy!

haphazardlife said...

Well everyone needs a fluorescent orange hat.

- Jazz

Craig said...

Many of the New Yorkers I've met are almost touchingly provincial in the way that they simply can't imagine that anyone would want to live anywhere else. . . And, in that vein, I am getting inordinate mirth from the idea that HomeGirl never heard of hunting before. . .

When I started riding my bike in earnest, many years ago, I got myself a blaze-orange hoodie to wear on those crisp fall days when you want to cover your ears, and the hunters are in the woods. . .

Susan in the Boonies said...

Culture Club!!! Love the clash!

Mama Zen said...

The part about the side of beef cracked me up!

S said...

lol, most excellent!
It is different living rurally, metro folks just dont get it!
I love Home Girl in that orange hat!
I dont know if you should take her hunting though, but I think its time she learned about funny cake, and scarapple, and all that other wierd stuff that you all eat over there.

(M)ary said...

When I went to the Amish farm to pay for the home repair I had done, I was offered a cow at a reasonable price. He even told me who could butcher and process it for me (cuz that is important to know?) But I am still too city for an entire cow. I prefer to stop by the butcher shops here in town or the meat counter at the grocery store, buying just enuf for dinner.

Beach Bum said...

Down here we're big on the day-glo orange vests with bandito-like pockets for extra shotgun shells.

Glad you mentioned vension, I've got a chunk in my freezer that I'll start thawing in the morning.

coopernicus said...

where are the rifles???

Cosima said...

I am way overdue on a haircut as well, and yes hairdressers who understand curls are a rare breed.

I have never shot a single bullet. A friend of mine told me I should try because it's very Zen. Breathing, being still, and all that. I admit I was perplexed, but I will try if I get the chance.

Cricket said...

Someday I'll tell you my own shooting story.

I think HomeGirl will find the hat both stylish andpractical, should she be tempted to go for a woodsy stroll at the wrong time of year. Not the first thing that might occur to us city folk.

Dick "Dick" Cheney ain't the only poor shot out there.

secret agent woman said...

Broke their spirit! My son has thick wavy hair and he's in a phase where he straightens it. I miss the curls.

Mother Theresa said...

She sounds terrific! Love the orange hats! And I'll let you in on a little secret...I haven't cut my hair for over a year, so you're not the only one. I do dye, though, mostly because my greys are not as stylin' as yours.