(Home)Slice of Lime-The Flyest Rednecks

I've mentioned in the past that we have fun in our office.   We have some wonderfully looney people working there.  Our office manager, who shall be henceforth referred to as HomeGirl, is born and bred in NYC.  She has lived here in comparatively rural Pennsylvania for just a couple of years.  It is not unusual for the city transplants to our area to not only find our "culture" (or lack thereof in their eyes) perplexing but frequently worthy of scorn and derision as being hopelessly backwards.  To them I say, "I-80 East to the George Washington Bridge. NYC is on the other side if you miss it so much."  Then there are the quieter subset of transplants who come with a willingness to learn, adapt, and share ideas.  Those I most heartily welcome and thank them for sharing the best parts of metropolitan life while learning about rural life.

HomeGirl is often perplexed. For example, during a staff meeting the boss said he was buying a cow and was willing to sell a side of it.  At that point I piped up and said I already had half a cow in my freezer and part of a deer.  Poor HomeGirl sat there with her eyes like saucers not knowing what was going on.  At lunch she asked me what on earth we meant.  She was astonished to learn you could buy an entire butchered bovine from people who raised them for slaughter.  When she asked about the deer and I told her how we hunt she was nearly as blown away as Bambi and remarked, "Damn, in the city all people do with guns is hunt each other.  I had no idea!"  To her credit, HomeGirl wants to understand the way things are done around here before forming an opinion on it.  I offered to take her target shooting.

HomeGirl does, however have an opinion on my fashion sense.  She's not critical, mind you.  She just can't get over that I don't dye my hair or wear make-up. She says I look fine but could look even better.  I have made her aware of my thoughts on hair dye.  She suggested a haircut at which point I agreed I was well overdue. But I have this mild phobia about hairdressers and my last haircut 3 years ago did nothing to help me overcome that.  See, I am at peace with having curly hair but the lady hacked my curls into oblivion and broke their spirit so they laid dejectedly upon my head.  HomeGirl very excitedly informed me I need a Dominican hairdresser because they know how to handle curls.  I asked her where the heck I am supposed to find a Dominican hairdresser around here.  She offered to take me to the city to HER Dominican.  Then she asked if she could do a total makeover on me.  I said if she was really willing to come shooting and promised not to dye my hair we'd do it.

And thus the exchange of culture began.  We haven't been able to make it work out yet due to various health issues in each of our respective families but we have an understanding.

One day, Mr. Lime came to the office sporting one of his 6 fluorescent orange hunting hats.  HomeGirl fell in love immediately....with the hat.  She never knew anyone who actually wore that color in public before and she said she wants a hat like that.  Now understand HomeGirl is ALWAYS stylishly dressed.  She is gorgeous.  She is fashionable.  She wants a fluorescent orange knit hat.  It was my turn to be perplexed and the incongruity nearly blew my circuits.

This week Mr. Lime presented her with her very own orange hat. I can't even describe how excited she was as she pulled it on and dragged Mr. Lime into a picture with her. So here they are sporting the season's most stylin' orange hats and throwing gang signs....they flyest rednecks around...Mr. Lime and HomeGirl.