Monday, May 02, 2011

Meme in an Elevator

Empress Lime and Queen Mimi again present a meme.

The Queen's Meme #81 ~ The Elevator Meme

Welcome to The Queen's Meme
7 Royal Questions on Tuesday

This week we are going on a very short trip inside a very small space. In fact, we are going to make several stops along the way. Ding! Step inside the elevator. You will visit seven floors. Be prepared to face the question and/or situation when the door opens on...
The Elevator Meme
Going UP! 
Oh, one more thing. You must answer the questions in the order given.*  The reason will become clear on the last question.
Psst! I hope none of you are claustrophobic.

1st Floor:  When the door opens you are faced with a crowd of people staring at you wiggling and jiggling around trying to make room for you to fit inside with them. But you must have the elevator all to yourself to finish this meme (by order of The Queen!)
Make up a story that will make them all leave. 
I don't need to make up a story.  I just need to vomit.

2nd. Floor:  Now that you are alone and laughing at your lying wicked ways, choose your elevator ambiance and music. What does your Party Elevator look like? 
A Star Trek holodeck so I can create Hugh Jackman and slather him with hot fudge,

3rd Floor:  You decide to push the CLOSE button repeatedly because you want more time inside to yourself and's fun (!) and you're in charge of your Elevator Universe.  Finally, you realize you must open the door.   You are faced with a pregnant woman about to give birth and a very angry man pushing her wheelchair.  Do you let them on or do you shut the door and leave them stranded once again?
Push the pause button on Hugh, rescue the pregnant woman, strand the angry man.

4th Floor: An obviously wealthy woman shares your space to the next floor. She is rude, condescending and reeks of expensive perfume. Her over-sized wide brimmed hat keeps smacking you in the face. As she steps out, a $100 bill accidentally falls from her purse. Do you keep it or do you return it?  
Keep it. It was my tip for not strangling her. But I'll split it with the pregnant woman for her delivery of the placenta on the rich bitch's shoes.

5th Floor:  Ding! Oh joy! In steps the last person who broke your heart or someone you seriously dislike. The elevator gets stuck for 30 minutes. It is going to be a very long ride. What do you say or do?
Ignore him completely.  Threaten to force feed him the placenta and discarded shoes if he violates my personal space of the silence between us.

6th Floor:  No one gets on the elevator. You are alone again.  You decide to make a prank phone call to one person. Why not? No one can see or hear you. Who do you call and what do you say?  
No prank.  I call the Engineering deck and tell them to get the pause button unstuck so I can resume the Hugh Jackman program.

7th Floor: Just before you arrive on the 7th floor you notice that there is a hidden camera on the elevator that has been videotaping your every word and deed since the 1st floor lie began. The door opens and there stands a police officer. Which one of the people in the previous questions do you stop and pick up on your way back down who would vouch for your good character? (You may not go back and change your answers to any of the questions. Whatever you did, you're stuck. So to speak.)
I swoon because I realize Engineering sent Hugh himself.  I drag him into the elevator and jam it before covering the camera with his hat.

*Nothing said I couldn't read them all before answering in order.


Pheromone Girl said...

You had me at Hugh Jackman and hot fudge. DANG!

G-Man said...

Which Floor is lingerie?

Dawn (Twisted Sister) said...

A Star Trek holodeck... now why didn't I think of that?
Great answers!

Craig said...

Vomit works; so does a broccoli/cabbage taco lunch (which, come to think of it, could even be double-acting if it induces you to vomit. . .)

Pearl said...

Baby, I like how you think.


Sue said...

Love your answers, especially #7 :)

Craver Vii said...

I could have had anyone vouch for me, except for those unfortunate people at the first floor who saw me remove my shirt, so that I could play a waltz on my armpits.

I am sooooo sorry!

Mimi Lenox said...

I like the way you covered the hidden camera with his hat. Very clever. What happened next??!

Moannie said...

Oh Queenie! You are too good.