Hi, Boss. It's Lime. I just wanted to let you know I won't be in today.
Is everything ok?
Yep, everything is fine.
Are you sick?
Nope, I'm feeling great. That's why I am calling in. I'm calling in well. I can't come in today because I'm so well. The sun is finally shining after a zillion days of rain and cold. Everyone in the house is finally healthy. My bank account is in the black. All my appliances are working. The car is running well. Things are going great!
I don't understand why you can't come to work then.
Well, I know I've missed work for doctor's appointments for Calypso and Mr. Lime as well as for my own sick days. I know I've come in a sometimes in spite of a crisis at the house and dragged myself through the day. Today is just such a beautiful day and things are finally going so great I thought I should enjoy it and not be locked inside behind a desk pining for sunshine. I thought it would be a nice change of pace to stay home and celebrate rather than miss work due to some emergency.
I see. Well, you make a lot of sense. I think maybe I should just close the office and give everyone the day off with pay now that I think about it.
...Welcome to the morning news. Today a dozen tornadoes touched down, an earthquake hit Japan, the world is scheduled to come to an end, the economy continues to tank...
(I reach over and flop a hand over the snooze button to make it all stop before burrowing back down into my bed.)