Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Please Excuse Lime Today

*Ring Ring*


Hi, Boss.  It's Lime. I just wanted to let you know I won't be in today.

Is everything ok?

Yep, everything is fine.

Are you sick?

Nope,  I'm feeling great.  That's why I am calling in.  I'm calling in well.  I can't come in today because I'm so well.  The sun is finally shining after a zillion days of rain and cold.  Everyone in the house is finally healthy.  My bank account is in the black.  All my appliances are working.  The car is running well.  Things are going great!

I don't understand why you can't come to work then.

Well, I know I've missed work for doctor's appointments for Calypso and Mr. Lime as well as for my own sick days.  I know I've come in a sometimes in spite of a crisis at the house and dragged myself through the day.  Today is just such a beautiful day and things are finally going so great I thought I should enjoy it and not be locked inside behind a desk pining for sunshine.  I thought it would be a nice change of pace to stay home and celebrate rather than miss work due to some emergency.

I see.  Well, you make a lot of sense.  I think maybe I should just close the office and give everyone the day off with pay now that I think about it.


...Welcome to the morning news.  Today a dozen tornadoes touched down, an earthquake hit Japan, the world is scheduled to come to an end, the economy continues to tank...

(I reach over and flop a hand over the snooze button to make it all stop before burrowing back down into my bed.)


Sailor said...

Jeeez, isn't this the truth? arghh.

G-Man said...

You are so refreshing Trini...
Take the whole week off...With Pay!

WizzyTheStick said...

pity you had to wake up. I'd like to stay in that dream:-)

Anonymous said...

Damn, and here I thought you had the bestest most amazing boss in the world.

- Jazz

Bijoux said...

Yes, a girl can dream.

Cricket said...

Heh, heh. I put it the same way once to myself. Even wrote a rare poem about it. Not a good poem, mind, but an inspired and heartfelt one all the same. I no longer have it, but I will attempt a reconstruction:

I called in well to work today
I didn't have the urge to say
I had the flu,
or to consign yet another relative
to a fortunate and timely death.
So if the truth I may now tell,
today I simply called in well.

I'm too well you see
Mr. Management Man
to pretend that total productivity
here at Bigg & Important
has very much to do with me.
I come most days and come on time
and enter numbers on my machine
and I try to do it quick and correct
and in return I receive a check
and that's all I get.
So don't expect much more from me.
Know what I mean?

And Mr. Assistant?
I can't pretend I'm terribly interested
in how I fit into your plan
to make yourself Mr. Management Man.
I can't support that
because then there'd be two,
when you hired an assistant
who is just like you.

And so today I called in well
and those who don't like it
can go to

Well, anyway, yer not alone. But you knew that. Have a great day.

San said...

A wellness day. YES. It has been a long, cold spring, fraught with disasters. Enjoy the beautiful moment, Michele.

Craig said...

See, as soon as you said no-one was sick and the car was running fine, I knew it was a dream. . .


And, on the general west-to-east pattern assumption, there's more rain headin' yer way. . .

Anonymous said...

it's all The Rapture's fault...

Hilary said...

Darn radio!

~Tim said...

Doooooo iiiiiiiittt. Call in well today.

Beach Bum said...

Take the day off but remember this very important item, it is always 5:00pm somewhere.

Dave said...

Now there's a girl who knows where it's at. Pity about the other bad news. - Dave

Susan in the Boonies said...

It's been a tough week for so many of us, hasn't it?


Love you, lime. Hang in there!