Monday, June 13, 2011

The Meme Bone is Connected to the Funny Bone

 Welcome to The Queen's Meme
7 Royal Questions on Tuesday
(I'm prolific today. There are 9 questions.)

It's time for your annual check up! I always say "knowledge is power" when entering the stressful confines of a doctor's office. I take a pen and paper, armed with questions and a medical encyclopedia at my disposal. My doctor is not amused.  Let's see how well you do on the medical exam I have prepared for you.

1. The smallest bone in the human body is about the size of a grain of rice. What is it?
There's a joke to be made here about boners of ex-lovers but far be it from me to stoop to such a crass level.

2. How fast is a sneeze?
I dunno but as a kid when I sneezed I used to worry about Bolivia because I was told the average sneeze contained enough germs in it to kill the entire population of Bolivia.  That was a lot of guilt to inflict on a sensitive kid with really horrid allergies.

3. What percentage of the human body is water?
Depends on whether you quantify before or after Happy Hour.

4. True or False: A human's thumb is as long as his or her nose.
I dunno but my thumb got stuck up my nose when i was trying t measure.

5.  What should you do if you are bitten by a snake?
Bite it back.

6. It is a fact that humans get an entirely new skeleton every 12 years. What do we get every six years?
An IRS audit? A colonoscopy?  Oh wait, they are the same thing only the IRS doesn't sedate you first.

7. Happiness is directly related to the size of your _________________.

 8. If there are 9,000 taste buds on your tongue, how many hairs are on your head right now?
A lot more than would be found on Mr. Lime's head.

9. I believe that the size of the needle is directly related to the mood of the nurse. However, sometimes it's necessary to get shots. If  you could be vaccinated against anything in the world, what would it be? 
Football, sauerkraut, Paris Hilton


coopernicus said... don't leave me much wiggle room here...

Sailor said...

Okay, vaccinating against Paris Hilton made me laugh out loud, and I had to read that to my son- who also cracked up! Where do I sign up??

silly rabbit said...

Great funny way to start my day!

It's a good thing I didn't know I was killing Bolivians. No wonder it has a small population.

Craig said...

1) But what if you don't have any ex-lovers?

4) Me too!

6) I'm tempted, along the lines of your answer to #1, to say, 'an orgasm'. Just for the sake of the humor of it. Not at all because it would have any basis in fact. At least, not for us. Just sayin'. . .

7) Oooooh. . . good one. . .

8) Yeah, tell me about it. (see my icon, if you're wondering. . .)

9) Celebrity/politicians and their public sexual misbehavior. . .

Cricket said...

I laughed so hard at your response to #1 that I really missed most of the rest. Truly you are the queen.

Suldog said...

Some human thumbs are as long as a grain of rice since they're directly related to the happiness inherent in the size of your needle.

BPD in OKC said...

Come check out my new meme:

Moannie said...

Laughed like a loon then when back and tried to get serious.1# is in the inner ear, I think. A sneeze is something like 75mph and everyone closes their eyes, which is why it is dangerous to sneeze whilst driving or, well doing anything that requires concentration or digital skills. Average seven pints of blood then saliva, sweat, contents of bladder,
My thumb does not fit the length of my nose but does fit JP's...then I lost it again Oh my Queen.

Rob said...

Re: #1 -- I thought perhaps this was your way of trying to tell us that you follow Congressman Weiner on Twitter! ;-)

Beach Bum said...

What percentage of the human body is water?

The question for me is not the water percentage but the alcohol saturation level.

Jocelyn said...

Mostly, I just have to holler that this is the fourth time this week I've tried to get to your blog, and apparently the clouds are in the right position tonight, so hhhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

EMT Wench said...

Oh, I loved reading your answers! That was great!