As I have prefaced other such posts I hasten to do again. I like my job. I like the overwhelming majority of the patients I deal with every day. On occasion though, there are some I want to throttle. Last week the annoying ones seemed to be crawling out of the woodwork. Even the office manager noted I couldn't seem to catch a break. Here, for your amusement and my own therapy, I offer one situation near the end of a long day with a surplus of snotty patients and how I wanted to respond.
Every day I make the reminder calls for the following day's appointments. Usually I wind up leaving messages but sometimes I have actual human interface like this example.
Me: Hello, this is Michelle from XYZ Chiropractic calling for Bill to confirm his appointment for tomorrow.
Mrs. Bill: (snarling) When is my husband going to start feeling better?!
Me: (pausing in incredulity while I suppress my urge to rip this charming woman a new one, breathing deeply as wisps of smoke begin to escape from my ears before responding as sweetly as I possibly can) Well, ma'am, healing is a process that can take some time. Shall we expect him tomorrow?
Mrs. Bill: (more snarling) I suppose.
Now mind you, Bill is a brand new patient who has been to our office exactly two times before this phone call. Out of respect for patient privacy I cannot give you his diagnosis and history but suffice it to say he presents with a LONG list of symptoms from conditions he has had for many years. It is immediately apparent to even an untrained eye that he has quite a lot to deal with. He didn't just sleep on his neck wrong and wake up feeling a bit stiff. Allow me to also say that he seems like a generally decent guy who is not unpleasant, merely in pain. All that informs the response I craved to give.
"Well, you send him on in and with my magical powers as the front desk lady I will cast a spell over him, sprinkle some fairy dust, and he'll skip on out of here like a little kid. Then maybe we can set up an appointment for you where we perform a cranio-rectal extraction so you can chill the hell out and get off his back. I'm willing to bet that will make him feel better too."