I Have a Confession to Make

Last week I brought attention to Banned Books Week.  However, I must admit...I have been a book burner in the past.  It's a confession I made six years ago but in the interest of full disclosure I think it's important for my current readers to know the story.


As much as I love books and value intellectual freedom, there is one book so heinous, so dark, so atrocious in every way that I felt I had to burn it. It was the cause of such suffering and needless heartache I had no other recourse. Even though that dark chapter in my life was over so many years ago, I am remorseless enough about it that I'd do it again given the chance.

I read the book cover to cover. I did not come to my decision lightly or merely as a result of secondhand information. I did seek others to join me in casting copies of the book into the bonfire. I actively encouraged others to gather whatever copies of this horrendous volume they could find in order to offer them to the flames. You may be happy to know that I failed in my endeavor to gain partners in this destruction. I was undaunted in my determination to rid myself and others of this scourge of a book.

Alone in my fury, I prepared the altar upon which this wretched text should be offered. My hatred for the book grew as the flames lept higher. I cackled in maniacal pleasure as I fed the fire a leaf at a time. I was going to enjoy every second of this book burning. I slowly ripped each page from the book, dropped it into the blaze and watched in glee as the flames consumed it. I savored each moment until finally I had only the cover left. I stoked the fire and finally tossed in the cover. I felt a burden lift from my shoulders and sighed deeply in relief....




Never again would I suffer through my college statistics textbook!