One of the early tip offs that something was going very wrong inside my body was rapid weight loss not attributable to the standard disciplines of diet and exercise. It's been a noticeable drop in pounds, in fact, I now have several pairs of pants I can put on and take off without ever undoing the button or zipper.
Others have noticed as well. I get comments on my weight. When it's from someone who has no idea I am dealing with the c-word I just try to acknowledge the comment politely and move on. When it's from someone who knows my thyroid went completely ape-shit and then we discovered cancer in it I find I have greater difficulty just thanking them when they compliment my shrinking size. I've tried humorously saying, "Thanks but I don't recommend the weight loss plan." When they persist with some totally asinine response like letting me know they are jealous of my weight loss. I tell them flatly, "The palpitations, insomnia, night sweats, high blood pressure, general anxiety, and potential threat to my life left untreated are less than worth it."
I am well aware I was overweight before all this. I am aware I am still overweight in spite of now being able to slide my pants off without undoing them. I am under no delusions about being svelte. Nonetheless, I have heard this compliment offered stubbornly as if to suggest I'm probably not really all that sick, offered as some sort of consolation (Look on the bright side, you're not such a tub of lard anymore!), offered in envy as if I have found some miracle diet, and offered in a state of confusion because someone just doesn't know what else to say (I can sort of tolerate that). Again, if someone doesn't know what's going on with my health I can deal with it. If someone does, it's really beginning to piss me off. Of course, that means I might develop frown-lines and we can't have that as I've learned how I look trumps everything else.
To that end, I am taking my cues from Billy Crystal's Fernando character. "It is always better to look good than to feel good...and, Dahling, you look MAHVELOUS!" It helps me laugh rather than scream.
20 comments:
Fernando was definitely one of Billy's funniest characters. I'm glad to hear that you haven't lost your sense of humor over what can be a terrifying experience. Take care.
ummmmm....yeah. bet if you start smoking pot you'll put it back on...
ummmmm....yeah. bet if you start smoking pot you'll put it back on...
We humans are a strange lot. We want to be able to say something encouraging. We just sometimes have a hard time judging what's appropriate. You, my dear, are always beautiful - inside and out.
Kind of highlights how warped our society has become with body image. Folks who insist on commenting on the weight loss probably can't deal with their own body image issues.
Nonetheless, I have heard this compliment offered stubbornly as if to suggest I'm probably not really all that sick...
Some people are dickheads while others simply mean well but do not know the right thing to say. The trouble, as always to figure which group an indiviual goes in.
Going from what Coopernicus said I'll see if I can borrow some from my son adn send it your way.
Excuse the typos above...
People are just plain rude.
And soon you will not only Look good, but Feel good as well.
I only hear the inane comments indirectly, but can totally empathize.
I still think the snake oil offerings are worse.
My favorite unsaid reply is, "Shut (TF) Up."
Wow. From someone who doesn't know, it makes sense, but if you know and still... Words fail me.
"My father used to tell me, "Nando, don't be a schnook. It's not how you feel; it's how you look."" There aren't many spanish-speaking fathers that call their son a schnook.
Svelt? No, of course not, Darlin'. You're Greek & German or something like that; right? Uh, Svelts are people from one of them thar Scandinavian countries, ain't they?
If you're feeling like you want to vent, let me hold this cushion and you just let it out. (biff!) Ouch! -- not the face.
Hey, maybe you can get a rubber stamp that says "stupid," so that when people say dumb things, you can stamp their forehead, alerting their next victims to take their words with a grain of salt. Problem is, I'd probably have my own face stamped numerous times if people actually did this.
Lots of love to you, Lime. (hug)
I have a hard and fast rule _ I never comment on anyone's weight, no matter which direction. Never. It's too fraught with potential insult.
All I know is, you were beautiful before, you are beautiful now, and you will be beautiful when this ordeal is behind you! The difference will be, you will be cancer free, life will be a little sweeter, and little things that used to be annoying and distracting will become insignificant when given a new perspective. In the meantime, just know that people who love you want only the best for you and are pulling for you every single day! Take care, beautiful...
I couldn't possibly find a better way of saying what I feel than the words Rob just used.
God bless.
Awwww, people just don't know what to say to others' misfortunes.
And I've always thought that being good was really the way to go (altho, Lord knows how well I've done with that. . .)
Still praying for you, my friend. . .
I was totally going to say what Rob and Suldog said. Honest!
Strange. I left a comment a while ago and it has disappeared.
ANYWAY... people say the strangest crap sometimes. Some of it is ignorance, some of it is lack of intelligence, and some of it is because they just don't know when to say nothing at all.
Rob really couldn't have said it any better so I'll just say "ditto". :)
Billy might have a point, but I think attitude means something here, and when one is feeling really bad, no matter how well we look, do we really care at those times? For me I think not! - Dave
People can be so ignorant. And rude. I have been overweight most of my adult life....my hubby feeds me too much....he won't take "I'm not hungry" for an answer. Yes, it's HIS fault...not mine. wink If I found out I had cancer and lost weight and people started telling me that I looked great, I would tell them that just as soon as they got the cancer cured, I intended to gain every bit of my weight back before my husband started looking at other fat women. Seriously, I would. Then I would just watch as they didn't know what to say to that. :) I mean, just shut up people. Didn't anyone's mother ever teach them if they can't say something nice, don't say anything at all? Sheesh!
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