Weird Wednesday-Overheard at House of Lime

Mr Lime: Termites are responsible for the greatest amount of farts on earth.

Lime: So they contribute more to greenhouse gases than cows?

Mr. Lime: Bug farts have to be pretty small. I think it was the greatest number of farts not the greatest volume.

Lime: Insects outnumber vertebrates so it's possible the volume of termite flatulence exceeds that of bovine emissions and therefore would be a bigger problem.

Mr. Lime: But you're assuming bug farts are methane.

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I have one daughter with curly hair and one daughter with straight hair. When they were younger they each wanted what the other had. Recently they seem to have come to a place of acceptance with what nature has given them. Now I think they are just messing with my already tenuous grasp on sanity. The one with curly hair wants a curling iron and the one with straight hair wants a straightening iron.

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Calypso: (while watching an episode of "The Office") Did you ever notice the similarity between the boss and our pastor?

Lime: How so?

Calypso: They both make jokes they think are hilarious but everyone else finds them painfully awkward and completely offensive.

Lime: (stifling giggles)

Calypso: Mom, you KNOW it's true.

Lime: (nodding and snorting)

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I won't be around today since I will be spending 4 hours (2 hours each way) on a school bus.......full of 12 year olds........with a teacher who hates 12 year olds........headed to and from an amusement park........with a weather forecast of rain. I think I shall lead the children in singing "1000 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" during the bus ride. No, that was not a typo. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!