It's the Free Application for Federal Student Aid. That makes it sound so convenient and easy and with a whiff of promise in helping finance the higher education of American youth. What a steaming load...FAFSA...really sounds kind of like a wet fart and that's a far more accurate notion. It's an online application which requires you create an account with the Federal government. Right there you just know things are not going to go easily. The website will crash or your connection will be wonky or you'll fail in some way and all the documentation will be lost requiring that you start from scratch. Mr. Lime has undertaken to dealing with this process twice. Each time he has spent hours muttering, tearing out the precious hairs on his head, and bashing on whatever objects are close at hand. This ritual has been followed by stomping around, ranting at length on government intrusions through technology. It's quite the show. Book your table early to be sure to get the best seats.
Back in February, Mr. Lime and Diana attempted to fill out this document and apply online for educational loans...since the government loans are no longer available through local banks and online application is the only option now. The air was heavy with curses upon the parentage of anyone responsible for the process, which upon completion revealed no schools participating in our great state at that time. A good time was had by all. Eventually, we learned we had to wait.
This week Diana undertook to complete the application without her father. She seemed to be sailing along and remarked that she didn't understand why her dad had such difficulty. Then she asked for our tax return information to plug in the appropriate numbers. I could not locate it in the filing cabinet so she called her father. Here then is the half of the conversation I overheard.
Dad? Where is your tax return?
I need it for the FAFSA...
No, I don't want to wait for you to come home...
No, I don't want you to help me...
Because I want you to still like me when it's all over...
Ok, fine...then I don't want to watch you loose your mind and end up rocking in a corner and sucking your thumb.
That's education you just can't pay for.
Showing posts with label just one of many reasons why mr. lime may be bald. Show all posts
Showing posts with label just one of many reasons why mr. lime may be bald. Show all posts
Monday, May 16, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
How to Avoid Pre-DawnTaxi Duty
1. Drag yourself out of bed at 5:30am.
2. Put on ugliest sweats you own, pull your stroobly hair into a ragged ponytail, put on your Peruvian Duluth Winter hat to contain whatever the ponytail does not.
3. Don't forget your glasses. It's important to be able to see well.
4. Groan as you bend to tie your sneakers.
5. Search for car keys.
6. Stagger out to the car.
7. Nearly run over the garbage can at the end of the driveway as you back out to the road at 5:45am.
8. Torment your passenger with NPR when he'd rather be listening to some gawd awful Ozzy Osbourne crap.
9. Take his least favorite route to work because there are fewer traffic lights and you hate traffic lights.
10. Stay alert to potential hazards. In fact, when a car pulls out of a lot and into the oncoming lane slam on the brakes HARD because you're sure a dog is running out from behind that car. Realize the "dog" is merely a large cloud of exhaust.
11. When passenger asks if you were falling asleep at the wheel reassure him that you are awake, you were merely hallucinating.
12. Continue to destination where you offer a good-bye kiss even though you still have morning breath. Wish your passenger well as he walks twitching and muttering into his place of employ.
Follow these simple steps and your passenger will eagerly find other rides allowing you to sleep blissfully...until one of your kids barges into your room announcing he missed the school bus.
2. Put on ugliest sweats you own, pull your stroobly hair into a ragged ponytail, put on your Peruvian Duluth Winter hat to contain whatever the ponytail does not.
3. Don't forget your glasses. It's important to be able to see well.
4. Groan as you bend to tie your sneakers.
5. Search for car keys.
6. Stagger out to the car.
7. Nearly run over the garbage can at the end of the driveway as you back out to the road at 5:45am.
8. Torment your passenger with NPR when he'd rather be listening to some gawd awful Ozzy Osbourne crap.
9. Take his least favorite route to work because there are fewer traffic lights and you hate traffic lights.
10. Stay alert to potential hazards. In fact, when a car pulls out of a lot and into the oncoming lane slam on the brakes HARD because you're sure a dog is running out from behind that car. Realize the "dog" is merely a large cloud of exhaust.
11. When passenger asks if you were falling asleep at the wheel reassure him that you are awake, you were merely hallucinating.
12. Continue to destination where you offer a good-bye kiss even though you still have morning breath. Wish your passenger well as he walks twitching and muttering into his place of employ.
Follow these simple steps and your passenger will eagerly find other rides allowing you to sleep blissfully...until one of your kids barges into your room announcing he missed the school bus.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)