Marital Madness Meme

It's official. I have done so many memes I cannot take real surveys seriously any more. Diana came home with an interview assignment from health class. She handed me the form and asked me to fill it out. I so wanted to shred it like I do most lists of questions but since it would have negatively impacted her grade to do so I am just releasing my madness on the blogosphere.

How did you and your partner meet?
In prison

How long were you and your partner together before marriage?
We knew each other for half a Martian year, though we found out through astral readings that in a prior life we had been gladiators engaged in combat.

How long were you engaged for?
We were conceived in a lab by scientists running a longitudinal study in genetic and social engineering, therefore betrothed in theory before conception.

What is the age difference between you and your partner?
Roughly 20 Mercury years

Do you have any children?
Is that who these extra people are walking around eating all my food and messing up the place?

If so how long were you together before your first child?
Long enough to be impregnated...so what? Like 5 minutes?

How and why did you decide to have children or not to have children?
They just sorta showed up.

What do/did you do when you are not working or when you are spending time together?
Determining which foods provide the greatest entertainment value when inserted into nostrils

What is your happiest memory/moment/vacation?
Memory: The week we spent gutting and redoing the only bathroom in the house when the kids were small was such a time of harmony and peace.
Moment: The time the kids marched up and down the alley waving parts of a deer carcass was a pure Norman Rockwell moment.
Vacation: Spending two days of our honeymoon at his mother's was so utterly romantic and special.

What do/did you have in common with your partner?
Well, the scientists had a little goof in the lab so we both have a third nipple.

Do/did you get along with your in-laws?
As long as the payments are timely

What style of discipline do you use for your children and who deals with discipline?
We have outsourced that to the oompa-loompahs.

Did you and your partner agree on the same discipline style for your children?
Do you mean before or after we had children?