At the chiro office where I am employed I work at the front desk
Showing posts with label things that make you gasp for fresh air. Show all posts
Showing posts with label things that make you gasp for fresh air. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
The Mind Boggles
At the chiro office where I am employed I work at the front desk
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
You Know It's Bad When...
Diana stayed home from school yesterday because she was throwing up. She came out of her room at a normal time to get ready, wandered over to me and put her head in my lap before announcing, "I just puked up everything I ate yesterday." I simply told her to go back to bed.
She's actually a fairly easy sick person. Ever since she has been very little she just sleeps until she is better, with brief interludes for food intake and waste output. She stayed in bed for several hours before emerging to once again turn her stomach inside out. I announced I had purchased ginger ale and saltines for her dining pleasure. She groaned gratefully, took some with her, and returned to bed for several more hours.
By dinner time she seemed to have turned a corner and was looking for something slightly more substantial to ingest. She said she wasn't feeling horrible anymore. I said that was good since she still looked horrible. (Yes, I am a bad mom but she is so pale to begin with, when she looses what little color she has she looks absolutely deathly...plus her hair was on end...plus it was a test to see if she'd retaliate...the true test of Diana's wellness.) She retorted briefly before announcing that what was really wrong was she SMELLED horrible. I concurred.
"No, Mom. I really mean it. When I woke up this morning I didn't feel so good and I turned over to curl up in a ball but when I did I floofed my covers and caught a whiff of myself. That's when I ran to the bathroom to puke. I smell BAD! I spent all day in bed making sure I didn't floof my covers again because now I had my own bad stink PLUS puke stink."
"So you're saying this all could have been averted with basic hygiene?"
That's when she told me I was just plain horrible and I knew she had recovered. (In my defense, we both laughed ourselves silly over the exchanged.)
I am happy to report she managed to keep food down, bathe, and get to school today.
*For those of you who volunteered for parts in the Movie Meme, I am hoping to be ready to post that tomorrow. Stay tuned...
She's actually a fairly easy sick person. Ever since she has been very little she just sleeps until she is better, with brief interludes for food intake and waste output. She stayed in bed for several hours before emerging to once again turn her stomach inside out. I announced I had purchased ginger ale and saltines for her dining pleasure. She groaned gratefully, took some with her, and returned to bed for several more hours.
By dinner time she seemed to have turned a corner and was looking for something slightly more substantial to ingest. She said she wasn't feeling horrible anymore. I said that was good since she still looked horrible. (Yes, I am a bad mom but she is so pale to begin with, when she looses what little color she has she looks absolutely deathly...plus her hair was on end...plus it was a test to see if she'd retaliate...the true test of Diana's wellness.) She retorted briefly before announcing that what was really wrong was she SMELLED horrible. I concurred.
"No, Mom. I really mean it. When I woke up this morning I didn't feel so good and I turned over to curl up in a ball but when I did I floofed my covers and caught a whiff of myself. That's when I ran to the bathroom to puke. I smell BAD! I spent all day in bed making sure I didn't floof my covers again because now I had my own bad stink PLUS puke stink."
"So you're saying this all could have been averted with basic hygiene?"
That's when she told me I was just plain horrible and I knew she had recovered. (In my defense, we both laughed ourselves silly over the exchanged.)
I am happy to report she managed to keep food down, bathe, and get to school today.
*For those of you who volunteered for parts in the Movie Meme, I am hoping to be ready to post that tomorrow. Stay tuned...
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
P-U!
Have I got a new scent for those Mandles I mentioned last week!
Mr. Lime has returned from Louisiana bearing his laundry and Diana's (he drove and brought her bags so she didn't have to check them when she flew since the blood sucking airlines now charge for checking even the first bag).
Isaac also had all his camp laundry which had the distinct stench of sweaty 12 year old boy. Any of you who have lived with boys of this age KNOW what I am talking about.
May I say there is a unique and pungent bouquet to BO infused laundry which had previously been washed in what Mr. Lime and Diana describe as "slimy, egg-smelling swamp water." When said laundry has had a few days to ferment inside a suitcase it acquires great power.
When one has roughly 15 loads of sweaty 12 year old boy clothes and BO infused swamp water smelling clothes and linens it begins to permeate one's nasal passages to a great depth.
I just need a name for this new scent.
Suggestions? Anyone? No?
Ok, how about a repost of my expedition to the summit of Mount Laundry then? This is from the very early days of another blog I contributed to long ago.
Dawn breaks over the summit as the expedition party wakes at the base of the mountain. There is an excited sorting throughout camp. After a gathering of resources and careful inventory, one intrepid laundress and her Sherpa guide will attempt to reach the peak today. Other members of the party will remain at the base camp.
7:00am
The path for ascent has been carefully mapped. Failure to follow it exactly could result in failure to reach the summit. The climbers face a myriad of perils even under optimal conditions. Avalanche under a stench of fermented clothes is a very real possibility. Rumblings from the septic system provide an ominous reminder of past attempts that left failed climbing parties to descend in disgrace.
7:15am
Base camp is established at sheets and towels. Ascent begins. The climb is easy. There is an air of electric thrill......wait, it's just static cling.
8:15am
The laundress and the Sherpa quickly pass the first tier and easily transition from linens to denims. The terrain becomes more rugged but holds are still easy to find. A patch here or a belt loop there provide the necessary anchors.
9:24am
The first challenge comes when the climbing team must decide where to cleave the darks. During the planning and prior expeditions it was expected there would be a single tier to scale. The darks are deceptive though. From the ground the climb looks simple and clear cut. Once arriving at this level, the difficulties become more apparent. Prior attempts have been stymied by the arrogant assumption that this level could be taken quickly. The laundress and Sherpa will first ascend the greens, blacks and blues. Upon successful completion and a short break, they will carefully work over reds and tie-dyes.
11:45am
Elation washes over the 2 climbers as they fold the last tie-dye t-shirt! They press on boldly through the wilds of lights and perma-press. The air begins to clear and they take a moment to regather strength before they require bottled air at the next level.
1:00pm
The pace has slowed. The septic field belches noxious fumes. The division of darks, though necessary, taxes the leeching ability. It is a cost that had to be paid. The septic fumes along with the thin air at the new level require the climbers to begin using bottled air. Here at whites, where sweat socks and underwear abound, the oxygen is as thin as the filth is thick. Climbers who have failed to use air masks have often been overcome. Delirium and even death have hampered the successful ascent of other explorers. Our climbers shall not be so unwise.
2:30pm
The final sock is matched. The summit is in view! Two small sections of delicates remain. At this altitude extreme care is necessary. A misstep could unravel the expedition like a cashmere sweater or a stocking with a snag.
3:35pm
The laundress and her fearless Sherpa guide stand atop the summit. They hoist a flag of bras, staking it firmly to dry in the fresh air that swirls around them. A sense of exhilaration and victory brings tears to their eyes as they survey the neatly folded piles of clean clothes. Not one sock has been lost, no stain remains.
4:00pm
Descent is rapid. Contact with base camp is re-established. Stacks of fresh clothes are distributed to team members. One voice from among the throng is raised and reaches the ears of the laundress.........."You didn't wash my favorite shirt!"
Mr. Lime has returned from Louisiana bearing his laundry and Diana's (he drove and brought her bags so she didn't have to check them when she flew since the blood sucking airlines now charge for checking even the first bag).
Isaac also had all his camp laundry which had the distinct stench of sweaty 12 year old boy. Any of you who have lived with boys of this age KNOW what I am talking about.
May I say there is a unique and pungent bouquet to BO infused laundry which had previously been washed in what Mr. Lime and Diana describe as "slimy, egg-smelling swamp water." When said laundry has had a few days to ferment inside a suitcase it acquires great power.
When one has roughly 15 loads of sweaty 12 year old boy clothes and BO infused swamp water smelling clothes and linens it begins to permeate one's nasal passages to a great depth.
I just need a name for this new scent.
Suggestions? Anyone? No?
Ok, how about a repost of my expedition to the summit of Mount Laundry then? This is from the very early days of another blog I contributed to long ago.
Scaling Mount Laundry
6:43 amDawn breaks over the summit as the expedition party wakes at the base of the mountain. There is an excited sorting throughout camp. After a gathering of resources and careful inventory, one intrepid laundress and her Sherpa guide will attempt to reach the peak today. Other members of the party will remain at the base camp.
7:00am
The path for ascent has been carefully mapped. Failure to follow it exactly could result in failure to reach the summit. The climbers face a myriad of perils even under optimal conditions. Avalanche under a stench of fermented clothes is a very real possibility. Rumblings from the septic system provide an ominous reminder of past attempts that left failed climbing parties to descend in disgrace.
7:15am
Base camp is established at sheets and towels. Ascent begins. The climb is easy. There is an air of electric thrill......wait, it's just static cling.
8:15am
The laundress and the Sherpa quickly pass the first tier and easily transition from linens to denims. The terrain becomes more rugged but holds are still easy to find. A patch here or a belt loop there provide the necessary anchors.
9:24am
The first challenge comes when the climbing team must decide where to cleave the darks. During the planning and prior expeditions it was expected there would be a single tier to scale. The darks are deceptive though. From the ground the climb looks simple and clear cut. Once arriving at this level, the difficulties become more apparent. Prior attempts have been stymied by the arrogant assumption that this level could be taken quickly. The laundress and Sherpa will first ascend the greens, blacks and blues. Upon successful completion and a short break, they will carefully work over reds and tie-dyes.
11:45am
Elation washes over the 2 climbers as they fold the last tie-dye t-shirt! They press on boldly through the wilds of lights and perma-press. The air begins to clear and they take a moment to regather strength before they require bottled air at the next level.
1:00pm
The pace has slowed. The septic field belches noxious fumes. The division of darks, though necessary, taxes the leeching ability. It is a cost that had to be paid. The septic fumes along with the thin air at the new level require the climbers to begin using bottled air. Here at whites, where sweat socks and underwear abound, the oxygen is as thin as the filth is thick. Climbers who have failed to use air masks have often been overcome. Delirium and even death have hampered the successful ascent of other explorers. Our climbers shall not be so unwise.
2:30pm
The final sock is matched. The summit is in view! Two small sections of delicates remain. At this altitude extreme care is necessary. A misstep could unravel the expedition like a cashmere sweater or a stocking with a snag.
3:35pm
The laundress and her fearless Sherpa guide stand atop the summit. They hoist a flag of bras, staking it firmly to dry in the fresh air that swirls around them. A sense of exhilaration and victory brings tears to their eyes as they survey the neatly folded piles of clean clothes. Not one sock has been lost, no stain remains.
4:00pm
Descent is rapid. Contact with base camp is re-established. Stacks of fresh clothes are distributed to team members. One voice from among the throng is raised and reaches the ears of the laundress.........."You didn't wash my favorite shirt!"
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