Friday, November 17, 2006

Friday 55 & Da Count-Gypsy

FRIDAY 55

The gypsy bumped into town on his wagon. He set up camp and built his fire. A few wandering from town sat down and shared his fire. They sang and danced and lept with the flames until only embers remained. Morning dawned. He was gone. A girl awoke and danced away singing the gypsy's song.



DA COUNT

Da Count is about being glad for what you've got instead of bemoaning what you haven't got. But first I have to tell you what is missing. My friend, Gypsy, would have been 45 this week. He's not with us any more since lung cancer took him almost 2 years ago. I still miss him. I miss his wicked sense of humor and his kindness. I miss hearing him talk about his sisters and his children, the people he loved most in life. I miss the twinkle in his eyes and his keen mind. I miss his tremendous creativity. I miss the way he encouraged everyone around him even when he was going through trials that would make lesser men retreat into a shell of self pity. I miss his gentle, selfless ways.

In spite of those virtues he could really get down on himself. 'I never finished high school. (You got your GED and then went to college. You have a brilliant mind, you were a confused teenager) My marriage failed. (It's hard to succeed when the other one doesn't want to. You tried.) I just don't know how to help my son sometimes. (His boy has cerebral palsy. You love that boy so powerfully you help him shine so others can see how marvelous he is.).' His telecom job was in peril of being downsized before his diagnosis and afterwards he was sure he'd be cut loose quickly, leaving him without any insurance. They kept him on until HE said he couldn't work. On the day he left, 300 friends, family members, and co-workers gathered together for his benefit to celebrate and encourage him. He said to me later, 'Well, cancer sucks but without it I don't think I would have known that I made much difference in the lives of so many people. I just never imagined people would care about a guy who (insert his list of perceived failings).' In the midst of his death sentence he found something to count and found out how beloved he was.

So this week, though his time here was far too short, I'm counting that he was here at all and the memories I have. Though I still tear up on his birthday, I am counting that I can smile and laugh a little more for his birthday this year than I could last year because of who he was.

18 comments:

rose_michelle said...

It's always hard when we lose someone close at such a young age. My first experience was at 14 when another friend (14) killed himself because neither parent wanted him in their divorce. He thought no one wanted him.

barefoot_mistress said...

2 years now...man...

I think this is lovely, and, might I suggest that you post that beautiful spiritual HNT picture that you made for him to go along with this?

I remember a time when Gypsy was in your life, and, how happy he made you, and how you held each other up for awhile...
XX
Peace Gypsy.....

steve said...

I try to think of all the good times. I called my best friends mom this week on our birthday. While I will never replace her son she loves to get my phone call.

Have a wonderful weekend and when you get a chance come on over to my place and lets dance:-}

Moosekahl said...

My mom called me the other night confused on whether to accept the help of others. Ever since her own diagonsis with cancer 5 years ago she has been more concerned when someone else gets a bad diagnosis then about her own. Now the community has done a bank acct benefit, this weekend a pancake and sausage breakfast AND the guys "up north" want to do an auction for her. She almost turned them down because she didn't want to appear as those she was "asking" for it.

This woman has helped with every benefit and community project to be had in our small town. I told her to be grateful for those willing to help her and LET them help it that's what they want to do. Made her realize how many people appreciate her too!

Gary said...

The fact that you miss himm shows that he added much to your life. And for that you should be grateful. I can tell that you are.

Hope you have a nice weekend.

barefoot_mistress said...

Ok My 55 is finally up and showcasing your husbands exquisite taste in menswear.....LOL

lecram sinun said...

Beautiful count and post, Lime. I often have to be reminded that there is as much grace in the act of accepting as there is in giving. Cheers!

m said...

Aw. That was a very fine post. You memorialize your friend quite well because now I have a picture of him in my mind's eye, and I feel sad that he is gone. I am glad that you had a chance to know him and that you have your memories.

SeaRabbit said...

This is a great post... I love it a lot... You are so sensitive to people around you, it is a beautiful quality... ;-)

Tommy said...

Aw Lime, you got me tearing up here. That was a beautiful count. I know what he meant to you and I'm sure his life was brighter and better for the times you had together. I envy friendships like that. I hope one day to have one myself. Thanks.
TG

Logophile said...

Aw, very sweet, I likes this alot.
Many blessings.

Anonymous said...

he's lucky to have had a friend like you.

Anonymous said...

How lovely that you have such nice memories of your friend and that he is very much in your heart. It touched me that he knew that he made a difference in so many people's lives. I think it's one of the greatest gifts one can receive, getting told that one are valued.

Have a lovely weekend!

Chickadee said...

I had tears in my eyes reading this post. I'll bet your friend is up in heaven right now appreciating your wonderful tribute.

Our tears are the measure of our love for those we lose.

Have a good weekend.

Anonymous said...

I could feel your sadness in your words.

It's not easy to lose someone close to you. It's not easy to express it either, like you did so succinctly.

snavy said...

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same." ~Flavia Weedn

Fred said...

Beautiful post, Lime. I have a hard time expressing my feelings for someone I lost, this is so poignant.

Have a great Thanksgiving!

KFarmer said...

I understand and am sorry for the loss of your friend. Good ones are few and far between and that makes it so hard. A beautiful write to a wonderful person from one just as lovely-