Pennsylvania German Tuesday-Sticky Buns

Last week I shared how Diana wanted homemade Chicken & Waffles for dinner after her return from the south. Several of you thought it sounded strange but yummy. There was, however, a vocal minority who were of the opinion that few things could be more vile. How sad.

Well, this week I will share with you the next recipe Diana was craving. I believe this will have much wider appeal. Now many of you may think the name "Sticky Buns" is either a bit off putting or may snicker at the double entendre. Some of you may mistakenly assume I mean Cinnamon Buns, those things smeared with white icing. You may even think I mean those things you can get out of a tube at the grocery store. Perish the thought! (Though I will confess to making my share of those over the course of a lifetime.)

Sticky Buns are a Pennsylvania German bit of heaven. As a child we used to go to the farmer's market every weekend to get our produce, potato chips, pretzels, and deli meats for the week. Some times we'd stop by the Mennonite stands selling deliciously roasted chickens or homemade ice cream. As far as I was concerned the big treat was when we got sticky buns. And no, that did not occur when we sat on a bench where someone stuck an old wad of gum. Sticky buns are just that...buns that are very sticky. You can have them with nuts or raisins or just plain, but they are all a sticky gooey mess because of the sugar and molasses all over the top of them.

Now to the recipe, which I took from Boyertown Area Cookery or The Boyertown Housewife & Kitchen Efficiency Guide & Companion. (Doesn't that title smack of vapid women in pumps and pearls and frilly little aprons? Well, ok, in the case of PA German country it smacks of women with unflattering haircuts, no make-up, and frumpy calico aprons and I say that with genuine fondness for the less glamorous look and the women who wear it.) Actually I halved the recipe since I only had 5 people to feed rather than twice that number. I will add some clarification in with the directions from the book.

STICKY BUNS
1 package yeast dissolved in
1/4 C. lukewarm water
1/4 C. sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 egg
3 Tbsp butter
3 1/2 C. all purpose flour
3/4 C. lukewarm milk


The recipe says to let rise twice.

What it doesn't say is this...Obviously you have to mix it all up first. I softened the butter and rubbed it into the flour before beating the egg and adding all the liquid. Then just knead it until it's nice and smooth. I like kneading. It's a zen thing. The Pennsylvania Germans don't call it zen. they call it taking pride in doing a job well, but they are happy in attending to those minute details some people like to rush through. Just knead it around and breeeeeathe. Enjoy the kneading. Be the dough.

I covered the bowl with a wet towel while the dough was rising. How long does it take to rise? I dunno, how warm is your kitchen? Just let it double in size then punch it down. That's a good opportunity for visualizing deflating some arrogant jerk you know. Between the zen of kneading and the punching down I bet you never knew how therapeutic all this could be did you? Just wait until you wrap your mouth around these things. Your healing will be complete.

Ok, so now it rises the second time then you punch it down a little and plop it on the table to roll it out into an oblong shape. Also a little zenlike. Roll it till it's maybe a half inch thick. Take your time. Be nice to the dough. Roll, roll, roll your dough, gently on the counter...Now spread it with soft butter. Don't skimp and, good heavens, do NOT use margarine, you heretic! Slather it up good and then sprinkle it with cinnamon and brown sugar. If you want nuts now is a good time. I grew up with walnuts in my sticky buns but I didn't have any walnuts so I used pecans. It was still good. Now you want to roll it up and then slice it into one inch thick rolls. Like below. Sorry I didn't take pictures of the earlier steps. I was very into the zen of dough.

See, slices. Groovy, no?

Next you need to have your pan prepared. Well ok, maybe you should have done that earlier. The recipe tells me to melt 2 Tbsp of butter in this 9x13 pan. I used more. Butter.not.margarine. Listen margarine is all fat too. Either way it's fat. If you're going to eat fat it may as well be all natural tasty fat, not grody chemical fat. Ok, so melt the butter then generously sprinkle in brown sugar and on top of that pour molasses. Here is where I will cut you some slack. My family is not overly fond of the strong taste of molasses, though I am. You can use dark corn syrup, or honey too. Just use a bunch of it so the buns live up to their name.

Next, arrange the cut rolls in the pan and let them rise until they are doubled. I forgot to cover them this time but it was ok. Once they are big and fluffy stick them in a 375F degree oven for about 30 minutes.

When they are done let them cool a bit then flip them out onto a cookie sheet or platter. Abscond with the baking pan so you can scrape out all the gooey bits left in it after they cool (extra treat for the baker).

Try to wait until they cool before eating them. It will help if you remember the boiling, syrupy mess will take 4 or 5 layers of skin off the roof of your mouth if you eat them immediately. But dear me, doesn't that look good?

Can I eat one yet?
Not yet.

Can I now? Oh please, oh please, oh please?

Now is when you may lie and tell the kids they are still too hot while you sneak off with one so you can have a private moment. Oooohhhhh.....