Showing posts with label pennsylvania german. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pennsylvania german. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Sweets and Salts

I think I may have been hanging around Suldog too long because the re-post bug has bitten me.  Heck, it seems to work well for him so maybe it will for me.  February 2 is my grandfather's birthday.  Although I first posted this story 3 years ago it just seems a fitting remembrance of him on a cold day.


I'm back in my grandparent's tiny kitchen. It was just big enough to hold the refrigerator, sink, a small cabinet, and stove on one wall. There was no dining room so the table and four chairs were squeezed next to the opposite wall. Once the table was pulled out and everyone sat they stayed put. One had their back against the wall, one against the cabinet opposite the stove, one against the sink, and one with their back to the doorway. Only the one in the doorway could make an escape but no one wanted to. This was Mom-mom and Pop-pop's kitchen.

Tiny as it was, countless meals, baked goods, preserves and canned goods were made there. Mom-mom and Pop-pop both cooked. After his mother died and his stepmother kicked him out of his father's house he bounced around between other family members and eventually lived with his grandmother who was a cook at a local mansion. He learned cooking and sewing from her and whether he was producing something in the kitchen or by needle his end results were as fine or finer than that of many women.

The foods my grandparents made were very unlike what my mother served. Mom-mom made chicken potpie the Pennsylvania German way. This was no pastry covered pie dish with chicken and vegetables floating underneath. What heresy! Any Dutchie (local term for those of PA German heritage because they are often called PA Dutch) knows Chicken Pot Pie has big, square, homemade egg noodles, potato chunks, corn, and the chicken, all together and swimming in a sea of gravy. It's really more of a stew. Other dishes were fresh peas cooked in milk, apie cakes, rice pudding, a pickled bean and vegetable dish called Chow-chow, and endless jams and jellies.

The canned goods alone were astonishing. My grandparents' basement, which was clean enough for surgery, had row upon row of canned goods they had put up themselves. Everything was lined up and labeled in the most orderly fashion, a library of cans and jars indexed by date and contents. That's the meticulous Pennsylvania German way. There was an array of jams, jellies, and preserves. You could easily find the obvious and expected flavors like grape, strawberry, and peach. Amongst those fruits you'd also find crab apple jelly, elderberry jam, and whatever other interesting things they could find. I'd seen many canning sessions when Mom-mom boiled the fruits and pectins and then watched as Pop-pop squeezed it all through many layers of cheese cloth, warm juices running down his forearms, sweet aromas taunting my nose. If there was a fruit to be harvested locally it was turned into something you'd want to spread on a slice of bread. And as far as a Dutchie is concerned, dinner has not been proper unless there is buttered bread at the table and something else to smear on top of it. It's also important to keep a balance between sweet flavors and salty flavors. Seven sweets and seven salts is the official rule though some things like chow-chow pull double duty since they are both sweet and salty.

In their final years my grandparents did much less canning as Mom-mom's heart weakened and she could spend less and less time on her feet. Pop-pop also slipped into deep depression. They let a couple seasons pass by as they struggled. Mom-mom left us during the summer Diana was a baby. Pop-pop was never good for sitting still and without her to take care of he suddenly had much more time on his hands and needed activity to keep his mind off missing his wife. He decided to put up a batch of preserves by himself. One weekend at the end of summer when I came for a visit he loaded me up with jars of strawberry and peach preserves. We sat at the little table enjoying buttered bread and preserves. He smiled a smile I hadn't seen in a long time and it sweetened my soul like the jam on the bread. In November he was gone too.

It was February and my husband and I had gone through all but one last half-pint jar of peach preserves. He was at work, the baby was sleeping, and I was hungry. I toasted some bread. I reached for the final jar and found just the last remains of preserves clinging to the sides and bottom. I scraped out every last molecule, spread it slowly over the surface as if it were some ancient ritual. I think it took about 15 minutes to eat that one piece of toast. Each mouthful felt sacred. I had a hard time getting the last bite over the lump in my throat. The sweetness went to my belly as tears ran down my cheek to my lips. I half cried and half laughed because a proper Pennsylvania German meal has to have its bread and it has to taste of both sweets and salts.



Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Not Lost in Translation

Since there were a few of you who ventured to give guesses for the 8 words I posted at the end of the meme yesterday I will include the actual meanings today.  Then as a lazy blogger's excuse for a post I'll give you links to 3 dialect-related posts from between 3 and 4 years ago. 
 
1. Hinnerdale: Pennsylvania German for your hind end. Boy, you better straighten up and fly right or I'm gonna paddle your hinnerdale!

2. Dingolay: Trini slang meaning to dance with abandon. Yuh was at de fete (party) las' night?  Yes, an' I get on bad when I dingolay!

3. Stroobly: Pennsylvania German for unkempt or messy hair. I never saw such stroobly hair, now comb it before you leave this house!

4. Yampee: Trini slang for the gunk in the corners of your eye in the morning. So late in the day an' yuh jus' wake?  Don't lie I see the yampee in yuh eye.

5. Ferhoodled: Pennsylvania German for being completely mixed up or confused.Was it the second right after the old barn or the first right after the second barn?  Ach, I'm so ferhoodled!

6. Mamaguy: Trini slang for flattery designed to manipulate. Flora, yuh lookin' so good tonight.  Oh, don't mamaguy me!  I just finish rolling roti dough and I'm covered in flour.

7. Grex: Pennsylvania German for complaining, fussing or whining.  Especially applicable to fussy babies or children but applicable to adults who are out of sorts as well. Why you grexing so?  Things aren't so bad.

8. Pull bull: Trini slang for when people use their private car as an unlicensed taxi in order to make some money. Winston, yuh best go pull bull if we would pay the light bill this month.

For a bit more Dutchified Inlish check here.
For a few Trini phrases check here.
For a whole story in Trini slang check here.

Monday, November 09, 2009

Eat up!


According to this post at Slashfood.com today is National Scrapple Day. I am willing to bet few of you have so much as the slightest inkling as to what scrapple is. No cheating by Googling or checking out the links first!

Let's back up a bit. Many of you know I used to do Trini Tuesday posts featuring information about the culture, history, and foods of Trinidad or sharing some of my experiences of living there. After about a year and a half of that weekly feature I switched to my home culture and started doing Pennsylvania German Tuesday posts.

Well, scrapple falls very firmly (or should I say splats rather disgustingly) into the Pennsylvania German category. It's a food. Though I have shared recipes of sumptuous delectables I grew up eating and though I observe certain culinary traditions with great gusto this is not one I would ever choose to celebrate. Why, you ask? Let's just take a little looksee at the ingredient list shall we? According to an article found here it is:
"cornmeal mush made with the meat and broth of pork, seasoned with onions, spices and herbs and shaped into loaves for slicing and frying."

image from http://home.comcast.net/~jomercer/Dutch%20Blitzkrieg/db%20pics/faq/scrapple.jpg


Heck, that sounds vaguely similar to sausage and really not too bad at all. But wait! There's more! True enough the old adage tells you if you enjoy sausage don't watch it being made. Scrapple is even worse. First off, it starts by boiling a pig's head. Secondly the "meat" used in scrapple is the stuff not even good enough for sausage. It includes skin, tongues, hearts, brains, livers or as many a Pennsylvania German likes to say, "everything but the oink." After all that offal is boiled with the head to make a broth the meat is removed and cornmeal along with the seasonings and possibly buckwheat is boiled into the broth and the finely minced meat is added back in. Once it's all glopped up it is formed into loaves and left to set up. And you thought spam was a horrid thing!

Theoretically scrapple could be eaten "raw" because it's all been cooked in the process required to make the loaves. That would be terribly unlike the Pennsylvania Germans though. Full preparation includes slicing the loaf and frying the individual slices until they are golden and crispy on the outside and soft on the inside. It is generally considered a breakfast food and would be an option alongside bacon or sausage to complement eggs, fried potatoes or perhaps mixed in with all of that together. If it's eaten in slices it might be slathered with ketchup or maple syrup. Occasionally folks may even make a scrapple sandwich. Though why they'd want to is far beyond my comprehension.


I have to admit Mr. Lime, Diana, and Isaac are all fans of this dish which Calypso and I find especially vile. If the lovers of loaved hog offal in this house wish to celebrate National Scrapple Day they will have to do so by their own efforts. Calypso and I will instead be observing an alternate holiday, which Slashfood.com also lists for today, Cook Something Bold & Pungent Day. Bring on the curried venison!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Pennsylvania German Tuesday-Chicken and Waffles


Yes, you read that correctly. I said chicken and waffles. I know right now some of you are thinking I've finally gone around the bend. Trust me ok? This is good stuff. And just so we are clear there's no syrup involved because that would be gross. Basically it's chicken and gravy over waffles. Listen, if you can eat S.O.S. you can eat this. It's the same idea. And yes, I do like S.O.S. Yes, this is Pennsylvania German food although down south you find some folks who fry their chicken, sit it on a waffle, and pour gravy over that. I'm sorry, that's an abomination.

The non-abomination version is Depression food. I don't mean "woe is me, my boyfriend broke up with me so I need a pint of Ben & Jerry's to console me." I mean " I got a houseful of hungry kids and not a lot of money so how do I stretch what I have?"

Backing up a bit, Sunday was the first Sunday since October when no in at Casa de Lime had to go anywhere and there were no impending holidays. I decided it was time for a nice family dinner and I had a new recipe for chicken roasted in a cilantro orange marinade that I wanted to try. It was a bit of a disaster. I'm not sure if my oven temp is off or the bird wasn't completely thawed or what but after roasting it to a perfect golden brown, checking for doneness (I thought I had it right) and letting it rest before carving into it I discovered it was pink in the middle. Very aggravating and entirely disappointing. After we picked off the done parts I made a big pot of stock with the rest of it. It made a gorgeous pot of stock and a big pile of chicken after I picked the rest off the bones. Thus we came to have chicken and waffles. (See? It's that whole stretch the food dollar thing...in theory we had one good meal of roast chicken and now we have another good meal of chicken and waffles off the same carcass.)

Ok, the recipe. It's way easy. For the waffles I just use this recipe. I won't bother commenting on it except to say I love me some Alton Brown. I like the humor and geek factor he brings to cooking. I've used a lot of different waffle recipes but this one has become my favorite.

Now, the chicken and gravy part. Here's what I did.
1/4 C. butter
1/4 C. flour
pepper to taste
2 C. chicken stock

1. Melt the butter, toss in the flour and pepper to make a roux. Mix it all around.
(I once described the recipe to a friend who is a chef and now teaches chef wannabes. I thought he'd weep with joy when I used the word roux because he said his students failed to recognize the importance. Roux Roux Roux your gravy, gently on the stove. Merrily, merrily, merrily merrily, life is such a ....um....what rhymes with stove? Never mind, moving on..)
2. Slowly add in the stock as you keep whisking.
3. Bring to a boil over medium heat and let the gravy thicken.
4. Stir often.
(A real chef would probably stay stir constantly. I had other stuff going on, so it was often, not constant. I mean I had to change the CD player because I gotta have my tunes when I cook. For this recipe I recommend Amos Lee and Sheryl Crow. They were the perfect accompaniment. Some folks do wine pairings. I do music pairings. But ya know, if you'd rather some death metal with your chicken and waffles who am I to say otherwise. Just never, EVER use Neil Diamond. I am violently allergic to him. He will ruin your gravy mojo. Really, just mentioning him makes me break out in hives. Henceforth, he shall be "the singer who is not named.")

5. After your gravy thickens toss in some of the chicken you pulled off the bones from making stock. How much? Hmm, a couple of handfuls or so.
(I have small hands. If you have big hands you probably won't use more than a hand and a half. Andre the Giant might just use a pinch. Verne Troyer, well, he might need half a dozen handfuls. What? You didn't make your own stock so you didn't pull any chicken off any bones? This guy will tell you how if you need to know. Ok, well then if you used bouillon and water anyway, go grab a piece of leftover chicken and pull some meat off some bones so you can throw it in the gravy. And seriously, aren't you glad I opted to limit comment on Alton's waffle recipe? You're already wondering if you're ever going to get through a simple gravy. )

Finally, thrown some waffles on a plate, ladle the chicken and gravy over them and voila! You now have a plate of food that looks like someone hurled on it.




Yes, I know it's not pretty food. The Limelettes all talk about how gross it looks but they all like this dish. They all slurp it up with gusto. They are all happy to eat it. I think part of their joy is making barfing sounds when they are served it. They get away with that because I know they actually like this stuff and will eat it.


Besides, if you've gone to the trouble of making waffles to pour chicken and gravy over you get to have this for dessert...but only if you've eaten your dinner.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Pennsylvania German Tuesday-Sticky Buns

Last week I shared how Diana wanted homemade Chicken & Waffles for dinner after her return from the south. Several of you thought it sounded strange but yummy. There was, however, a vocal minority who were of the opinion that few things could be more vile. How sad.

Well, this week I will share with you the next recipe Diana was craving. I believe this will have much wider appeal. Now many of you may think the name "Sticky Buns" is either a bit off putting or may snicker at the double entendre. Some of you may mistakenly assume I mean Cinnamon Buns, those things smeared with white icing. You may even think I mean those things you can get out of a tube at the grocery store. Perish the thought! (Though I will confess to making my share of those over the course of a lifetime.)

Sticky Buns are a Pennsylvania German bit of heaven. As a child we used to go to the farmer's market every weekend to get our produce, potato chips, pretzels, and deli meats for the week. Some times we'd stop by the Mennonite stands selling deliciously roasted chickens or homemade ice cream. As far as I was concerned the big treat was when we got sticky buns. And no, that did not occur when we sat on a bench where someone stuck an old wad of gum. Sticky buns are just that...buns that are very sticky. You can have them with nuts or raisins or just plain, but they are all a sticky gooey mess because of the sugar and molasses all over the top of them.

Now to the recipe, which I took from Boyertown Area Cookery or The Boyertown Housewife & Kitchen Efficiency Guide & Companion. (Doesn't that title smack of vapid women in pumps and pearls and frilly little aprons? Well, ok, in the case of PA German country it smacks of women with unflattering haircuts, no make-up, and frumpy calico aprons and I say that with genuine fondness for the less glamorous look and the women who wear it.) Actually I halved the recipe since I only had 5 people to feed rather than twice that number. I will add some clarification in with the directions from the book.

STICKY BUNS
1 package yeast dissolved in
1/4 C. lukewarm water
1/4 C. sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 egg
3 Tbsp butter
3 1/2 C. all purpose flour
3/4 C. lukewarm milk


The recipe says to let rise twice.

What it doesn't say is this...Obviously you have to mix it all up first. I softened the butter and rubbed it into the flour before beating the egg and adding all the liquid. Then just knead it until it's nice and smooth. I like kneading. It's a zen thing. The Pennsylvania Germans don't call it zen. they call it taking pride in doing a job well, but they are happy in attending to those minute details some people like to rush through. Just knead it around and breeeeeathe. Enjoy the kneading. Be the dough.

I covered the bowl with a wet towel while the dough was rising. How long does it take to rise? I dunno, how warm is your kitchen? Just let it double in size then punch it down. That's a good opportunity for visualizing deflating some arrogant jerk you know. Between the zen of kneading and the punching down I bet you never knew how therapeutic all this could be did you? Just wait until you wrap your mouth around these things. Your healing will be complete.

Ok, so now it rises the second time then you punch it down a little and plop it on the table to roll it out into an oblong shape. Also a little zenlike. Roll it till it's maybe a half inch thick. Take your time. Be nice to the dough. Roll, roll, roll your dough, gently on the counter...Now spread it with soft butter. Don't skimp and, good heavens, do NOT use margarine, you heretic! Slather it up good and then sprinkle it with cinnamon and brown sugar. If you want nuts now is a good time. I grew up with walnuts in my sticky buns but I didn't have any walnuts so I used pecans. It was still good. Now you want to roll it up and then slice it into one inch thick rolls. Like below. Sorry I didn't take pictures of the earlier steps. I was very into the zen of dough.


See, slices. Groovy, no?



Next you need to have your pan prepared. Well ok, maybe you should have done that earlier. The recipe tells me to melt 2 Tbsp of butter in this 9x13 pan. I used more. Butter.not.margarine. Listen margarine is all fat too. Either way it's fat. If you're going to eat fat it may as well be all natural tasty fat, not grody chemical fat. Ok, so melt the butter then generously sprinkle in brown sugar and on top of that pour molasses. Here is where I will cut you some slack. My family is not overly fond of the strong taste of molasses, though I am. You can use dark corn syrup, or honey too. Just use a bunch of it so the buns live up to their name.



Next, arrange the cut rolls in the pan and let them rise until they are doubled. I forgot to cover them this time but it was ok. Once they are big and fluffy stick them in a 375F degree oven for about 30 minutes.

When they are done let them cool a bit then flip them out onto a cookie sheet or platter. Abscond with the baking pan so you can scrape out all the gooey bits left in it after they cool (extra treat for the baker).


Try to wait until they cool before eating them. It will help if you remember the boiling, syrupy mess will take 4 or 5 layers of skin off the roof of your mouth if you eat them immediately. But dear me, doesn't that look good?


Can I eat one yet?
Not yet.


Can I now? Oh please, oh please, oh please?



Now is when you may lie and tell the kids they are still too hot while you sneak off with one so you can have a private moment. Oooohhhhh.....

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Pennsylvania German Tuesday-Heart Attack in a Bowl

Take a good look at this. This, my friends, is a little bowl of heaven. This is a sweet and sour pile of bacony happiness. This is German Potato Salad. This is my grammy's recipe. Don't even talk to me about cold potato salad made with some slimy, mayonnaise based dressing. These are red potatoes coated in hot bacon dressing. Mmmmmm.....excuse me for a minute...oooohhh yeah......Are you drooling yet? Just be careful, you don't want to short out your keyboard. Since it would be cruel of me to tempt you thusly and provide no relief I am prepared to share the treasure that is my grammy's recipe.


First, you need to get a hold of a pound of bacon and dice it up. I find that easier than frying the strips and crumbling it up later. However, if you really dig getting your fingers all greasy, knock yourself out. Mmmmmm, smell the bacon frying. I can feel my arteries harden as it fries. You want to make sure you fry it very crisp because when it goes in the dressing I think it is gross if it's all limp and soggy. Eeewww. I just made myself ill even considering it. I am open minded enough to accept you may want flaccid bacon in your salad, I just don't want it in mine. Once it is fried to an appropriate level of crispness take the bacon pieces out of the pan and put them on a plate. Now, get ready because here is where your arteries all contract in unison and you go into cardiac shock....DO NOT drain the bacon fat out. You need it to make the dressing. Yeah, see that title up there? I believe in truth in advertising. I warned you.


Into the frying pan full of bacon grease you are going to add 2 cups of water, 1 cup of sugar, 1/2 cup of apple cider vinegar (Ok, if you only have white vinegar I won't argue with you.), and two beaten eggs. Take some of the water and make a roux with 4 Tbsp of flour and black pepper to taste then add that back into the rest of the liquid before you pour it all in the pan full of grease.






It's going to look fairly vile when you add it all together. Just close your eyes for a moment and smell the bacon. Forget how it looks. But stir it constantly over medium heat until it bubbles and thickens.














Keep stirring. In a few minutes it will look like this. Much more appetizing, no? Yes, I thought you'd agree. I forgot to tell you earlier that you'll want to dice up 4 stalks of celery. That's not actually in Grammy's original recipe but that's my own tweak because I do like something a little crunchy in my potato salad and NOT undercooked spuds. Once the dressing looks like thick gravy and you turn off the heat you can throw the diced up celery and fried bacon pieces into it.





Oh yeah, I never quite told you about the spuds either did I? Well, before you ever started frying the bacon and inhaling the joyous aroma that is sizzling pork fat you want to have cut up and boiled 5 pounds of red potatoes. Can you make this with other kinds of potatoes? Technically, yes you can, but it would just be WRONG. My grammy won't come haunt you or anything. She was a very gracious sort. Sadly, I lack the level of virtue she achieved. I will glare at you menacingly until you use the red potatoes. Don't get an attitude with me. I cut you slack on how you want to fry your bacon and what kind of vinegar to use. If you want to go against me on the spud issue go ahead just don't go calling it my grammy's recipe. I can't abide that sort of heresy. But I digress....Ok, so there in the back is the hot bacon dressing all completed. In the front are the just boiled spuds. Please notice we keep the skins ON the spuds. This is another important consideration. I didn't like that when I was a kid. Grammy told me to eat my potato skins, they'd put hair on my chest. I was aghast. "Grammy! I'm a girl! I don't want hair on my chest!" I learned to eat my potato skins. Now I can't live without them. I am happy to report my chest does not sport any excess hair. And NO, I will not be offering photographic proof. You'll just have to take my word for it.


So now is the magic moment when hot dressing meets warm potatoes and you stir it all around. Now be gentle so you don't wind up with mashed potatoes, ok? Of course, it also helps if you don't cook the spuds to mush. This pot here has no calories because I used my handy-dandy, industrial strength calorie extractor on it. No calories whatsoever (she says with fingers crossed behind her back).

Ok, so I lied when I said it has no calories. It probably has about 4000 calories per bite. But when the magic moment where spud meets mouth occurs, trust me, you.will.not.care. Don't believe me? Ok, well when I made it this weekend for a picnic and a chef type guy I know, who also teaches other who wannabe chefs, took a bite of this he said, "This is seriously the best German Potato Salad in the world. That's some old school goodness. I need you to come talk to my students." (When I explained the recipe to him I thought he'd weep because I used the word "roux." Apparently his students have a mental block against the concept of a roux. Personally, I have a mental block against flour lumps in my potato salad, hence I have embraced the roux. Sing it with me...Roux, roux, roux your sauce, gently in the pan....) While my favorite way to have this is when it's all still warm, if you should happen to have any left it's not half bad cold either.

Lime's Grammy's German Potato Salad

5 lbs red skin potatoes, cut up and boiled
1 lb. bacon, diced and fried crisp

4 stalks celery, diced

2 cups water

1 cup sugar

1/2 cup apple cider vinegar

2 eggs, beaten

4 Tbsp flour


-While spuds boil, fry the bacon. Remove bacon from pan when done but reserve the bacon grease.
-Make a roux with the flour and a little of the water.
-Mix together water, sugar, cider, eggs, and the roux then pour it into the pan of grease.
-Stir over medium heat until it bubbles and thickens.
-Remove from heat and add the bacon pieces and diced celery into the dressing.
-Pour dressing over cooked potatoes.

Fress up! (That means "Eat!")

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Down on the Farm

Once again, 2 of the kids and I donned our Late 18th-Early 19th century Pennsylvania German farm clothes and headed off to help at a festival. In the Fall it's all about the harvest. In the Spring it's all about the animals. Isaac's job was to help with the wagon rides. Calypso helped with children's games in the field and for some strange reason I got the game boards about animal trivia. Imagine that...me doing trivia. Before things officially got started and again at the end of the day I ran around a bit with my decidedly 21st century digital camera so I could take some pictures to share with all of you.




Here is one of our Belgian workhorses. Isn't she a pretty girl? We have two because you need a team of them to pull the wagon or plow.





The farmer was bringing out the calf early so she could get used to the situation. Lots of people were going to be petting her that day. When I tried to take her picture she felt a bit shy.



Eventually she decided to show me a better side. We get a lot of folks coming to visit from the city. I remember one of our first visits out here (keep in mind I grew up in dairy country, lotsa cows). Diana was about 4 and as she pet the calf it latched onto her hand and began sucking. She got a big kick out of it and a group of more urban types gathered behind us oohing and aaahing at the adorable scene of a red-headed child giggling as a very young calf suckled her fingers. When Diana decided it was time to go and pulled her fingers from the calf's mouth, and with them a long stringing handful of calf spit, the contented cooing behind us quickly changed to gagging. Pffft, wipe it on your pants, kiddo (we're on a farm and you're dressed to get dirty not stay clean) and let's hit the hay jump.



This pig wasn't in mud but he still looks pretty darned happy to me.




This is our new mule. I forget her name. Her mother was a Belgian workhorse, her father was a donkey. Horse mama + Donkey papa= Mule (also equals a sterile animal unable to reproduce). Now, mules get the reputation for being stubborn but it's not a fair rap. Horses will just work themselves to death so the farmer has to carefully monitor how the horse is doing during the day and make sure they provide adequate rest for the animals. Mules are self-monitoring and know when they need rest. When they reach that point they are done working, even if you aren't. Some say stubborn, others say smart.


Here's another critter who obviously had enough and decided it was time for a rest. Ok now, all in unison....awwwwwww.......



Ok, so now for some of the trivia with which I tormented visitors to the farm. I'll post the answers tomorrow.

Tell me the collective noun for each of the following animals.
GEESE
RABBITS
CATTLE
SHEEP
BIRDS
KITTENS
SQUIRRELS
BEES
PIGS
QUAIL
PEACOCKS
PHEASANTS


Fill in the blank with the right animal.
Strong as a...
Fat as a...
Slow as a...
Gentle as a...
Cuddly as a...
Quiet as a ...
Hungry as a...
Faithful as a ...
Contented as a...
Happy as a ...
Quick as a ...
Proud as a...
Graceful as a...
Busy as a...
Stubborn as a...
Silly as a...


If I could figure out the technological wonder of making a table to match up answers I'd torment you with matching the names for the male, female, baby, and neutered forms of various animals. I'm feeling the lingering effects of 18th century life though and not that technologically adept so I am only going to ask you if you can tell me the names for the neutered forms of...
CATTLE
HORSE
SWINE
CHICKEN
GOAT
SHEEP
(It was interesting explaining what neutering was all about to a number of people. Strange historical costumes, trivia, and the potential for horrifying people with frank conversation...was this job made for me or what?)

Ok, enough trivial torment for you today but I'll tell you visitors to the farm also had the opportunity to figure out what they thought gestation and hatching times of various animals were. The big hint is, the bigger the animal the longer the period of time. Ladies, be glad you're not a horse, you'd get an extra two months of pregnancy out of that deal.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Fausnacht Day


It's Mardi Gras in New Orleans, Carnival in Trinidad and Rio de Janiero, Pancake Day in the UK. In Pennsylvania Dutch country it's Shrove Tuesday or Fausnacht Day. First, a definition or two...

Shrove is the past tense of the verb 'to shrive,' meaning to gain absolution for sins through confession and penance. This is all part of the preparation for forty days of self-denial during Lent and leading up to Holy Week and Easter. Part of the Lenten observances is to rid the house of fats and yeast. Fausnachts, yeast raised, square doughnuts made with mashed potatoes, (alternately spelled fastnacht or fasnacht) are a way to use up those ingredients. The term Fausnacht translates to mean 'fasting eve,' which refers to the fast that occurs on Ash Wednesday tomorrow.

If you recall my first post on PA German culture you may remember that I outlined distinctions between the Plain Dutch (Amish and Mennonites), who rejected church liturgy and rites because they thought Reformers such as Luther and Calvin did not go far enough, and the Fancy Dutch (Lutherans, Schwenkfelders and others) who continued in the liturgical tradition. Given that, it seems apparent that Fausnacht Day is more associated with the Fancy Dutch since they are the ones who adhere more closely to liturgical calendars.

Yes, I will be making Fausnachts today. If I were a really good and traditional housewife, I'd have gotten up in the middle of the night to make Fausnachts so everyone could have them for breakfast. Given the time consuming nature of theses things I think you all know there ain't no way I am doing that. Traditionally, the last one out of bed this morning is also known as the Fausnacht. Given how I feel about early mornings I would love to be able to lay in bed and BE the Fausnacht (that sounds sort of zenlike to me...be the fasunacht, you are the fausnacht). It's supposes to be a shameful thing to be the last out of bed but my sense of shame never quite kicked in where pre-dawn risings are concerned. At House of Lime we have our Fausnachts for dinner. If I am feeling particularly shameless that's ALL we have for dinner.

Since I have this love for Trinidad I also need to find a way to work in the bacchanal that is Carnival. All yuh know I does dance in de kitchen, so as I fryin' de fausnachts I will be getting on bad to dis...

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Pennsylvannia German Tuesday-Sweets and Salts



UPDATE: Thanks to all who sent well wishes for my mother-in-law. Surgery to put a rod in her forearm to stabilize the bone went well. It's important to give her wrist and arm strength so she can use the walker while her pelvis is healing. I spoke to her and there has been some talk of going to a nursing home for a couple weeks instead of a rehab hospital for some reason. This is more upsetting to her than it would be to most people because of some very protracted and unpleasant history with nursing homes. Continued prayers and good thoughts are most appreciated. Now onto the post...



*image taken from http://www.all-about-dessert-sauces.com/jamsandpreserves.html


I'm back in my grandparent's tiny kitchen. It was just big enough to hold the refrigerator, sink, a small cabinet, and stove on one wall. There was no dining room so the table and four chairs were squeezed next to the opposite wall. Once the table was pulled out and everyone sat they stayed put. One had their back against the wall, one against the cabinet opposite the stove, one against the sink, and one with their back to the doorway. Only the one in the doorway could make an escape but no one wanted to. This was Mom-mom and Pop-pop's kitchen.

Tiny as it was, countless meals, baked goods, preserves and canned goods were made there. Mom-mom and Pop-pop both cooked. After his mother died and his stepmother kicked him out of his father's house he bounced around between other family members and eventually lived with his grandmother who was a cook at a local mansion. He learned cooking and sewing from her and whether he was producing something in the kitchen or by needle his end results were as fine or finer than that of many women.

The foods my grandparents made were very unlike what my mother served. Mom-mom made chicken potpie the Pennsylvania Dutch way. This was no pastry covered pie dish with chicken and vegetables floating underneath. What heresy! Any Dutchman knows Chicken Pot Pie has big, square, homemade egg noodles, potato chunks, corn, and the chicken, all together and swimming in a sea of gravy. It's really more of a stew. Other dishes were fresh peas cooked in milk, apie cakes, rice pudding, a pickled bean and vegetable dish called Chow-chow, and endless jams and jellies.

The canned goods alone were astonishing. Their basement, which was clean enough for surgery, had row upon row of canned goods they'd put up themselves. Everything was lined up and labeled in the most orderly fashion, a library of cans and jars indexed by date and contents. That's the meticulous Pennsylvania Dutch way. There was an array of jams, jellies, and preserves. You could easily find the obvious and expected flavors like grape, strawberry, and peach. Amongst those fruits you'd also find crab apple jelly, elderberry jam, and whatever other interesting things they could find. I'd seen many canning sessions when Mom-mom boiled the fruits and pectins and then watched as Pop-pop squeezed it all through many layers of cheese cloth, warm juices running down his forearms, sweet aromas taunting my nose. If there was a fruit to be harvested locally it was turned into something you'd want to spread on a slice of bread. And as far as a Dutchman is concerned, dinner has not been proper unless there is buttered bread at the table and something else to smear on top of it. You also have to keep a balance between sweet flavors and salty flavors. Seven sweets and seven salts is the official rule though some things like chow-chow pull double duty since they are both sweet and salty.

In their final years my grandparents did much less canning as Mom-mom's heart weakened and she could spend less and less time on her feet. Pop-pop also slipped into deep depression. They let a couple seasons pass by as they struggled. Mom-mom left us during the June Diana was a baby. Pop-pop was never good for sitting still and without her to take care of he suddenly had much more time on his hands and needed activity to keep his mind off missing his wife. He decided to put up a batch of preserves by himself. One weekend at the end of summer when I came for a visit he loaded me up with jars of strawberry and peach preserves. We sat at the little table enjoying buttered bread and preserves. He smiled a smile I hadn't seen in a long time and it sweetened my soul like the jam on the bread. In November he was gone too.

It was February and my husband and I had gone through all but one last half-pint jar of peach preserves. He was at work, the baby was sleeping, and I was hungry for toast. I reached for the final jar and found just the last remains of preserves clinging to the sides and bottom. I scraped out every last molecule and spread it slowly over the surface like it was some ancient ritual. I think it took about 15 minutes to eat that one piece of toast. Each mouthful felt sacred. I had a hard time getting the last bite over the lump in my throat. The sweetness went to my belly as salty tears ran down my cheek to my lips. I half cried and half laughed because a proper PA dutch meal has to have its bread and it has to taste of both sweets and salts.



Tuesday, January 08, 2008

A Dutchie Goes Trini

As my long time readers know I spent a year living in Trinidad, West Indies and have traveled back and forth many times. Those folks know how much I loved it there too. Many experiences as well as cultural and historical posts related to that were chronicled in the Trini Tuesday posts I did for the first year and half of this blog. I haven't done a TT post in probably about 7 months and I know I've picked up a number of new readers since then. It's been fun to shift and share about my home culture for a while and there will be more posts on that in the future but for today I'm going to do a little fusion.

Before Mr. Lime and I moved there we had gone through some general cross cultural training which was very helpful in enabling us to adjust to a new place. During the training we were required to evaluate our own cultural values and consider a what our reactions might be to very different sets of values. It really helped us develop good attitudes and shed judgementalism. When we moved there we dove in head first looking to learn and experience as much as we could.

We were also fortunate to have local friends who acted as cultural interpreters during times we found confusing. These were friends we could ask anything from "Why is there a colony of ants living in my iron?" to "How do I deal with a lecherous taxi driver?" We were blessed with neighbors who took us by the hand to the open market and showed us how to haggle for the best produce. Other friends taught me what to do with the unusual fruits and vegetables that I came home with after that first trip to the market. When we demonstrated an interest in learning about the local culture people were more than happy to teach us. One friend's mother became like a mother to us and began introducing us as her white kids. I can't even begin to express what a blessing that kind of acceptance was.

Most of the expat Americans I encountered on the island embarrassed me though. They had all been there for much longer than we had and yet they didn't seem to have much appreciation for local ways. Truthfully, as much as they departed from Trini cultural norms I didn't really see them adhering to American norms either. They sort of developed this third culture that I found rather odious because socially they had isolated themselves, sometimes quite intentionally. Consequently they had bred a lot of distrust. I generally avoided them.

There was one American woman though who I quite enjoyed though. She wasn't fully an expat. she lived in the US but traveled back and forth to Trinidad several times a year and often spent most of the summer on the island. Ironically, she was from a town very close to my hometown. She was a little slice of familiarity with her knowledge of Shoo fly pies, Dutchie slang, and Dutchie values. As I observed her I noticed how well respected she was by Trinis and how well she functioned in the culture so I was more drawn to her and she provided every bit as invaluable to interpreting things as my Trini friends.

Because we came from the same American subculture and because she had so many years of experience with Trini culture she was able to anticipate some of the pitfalls I might make and helped me to avoid them. She also saw the one area I was most resistant in and gave me some excellent advice. (Yes, I know you are shocked to find I could be at all resistant, I am such a docile and compliant person. By the way, I have some lovely swampland in Trinidad to sell you too.)

Now what was I resiting to strongly? I mean I truly was working to learn and fit in and enjoying it immensely. I had found that both Dutchies and Trinis are very forthright people and so I didn't have to entirely muffle that particular tendency of mine. I did at least try very hard to be careful about what I was blurted out since I didn't want to come across as critical of local culture. What barrier was I refusing to remove?

Well, as you know the Pennsylvania Germans are a plain people. Even those of us who aren't Amish or Mennonite are fairly subdued in our dress and grooming. It's not at all uncommon for middle aged women to just hack off their hair and wear it in a very unflattering cross between a bowl cut and a pixie. Cosmetic companies could go broke in dutch country. As weird as many of you may think my early and abiding love of tie dye is, in my hometown it is considered entirely aberrant (Must be those Greek roots of hers, Ethel, it's just unnatural you know!). In the entire county you'd be hard pressed to come up with enough bling to properly adorn a single rap star. Heck, we think the southern belles with their tastefully painted faces and perfectly coiffed hair are a bit ostentatious.

Now I am in Trinidad where tailored attire, grooming, fashion, and bling are the order of the day. Also, any given outfit can only be worn a certain number of times and before it can be repeated a certain gap in outings must be observed. It's nearly an insult to tell a Trini you remember the last time they wore a particular ensemble. You all can laugh but I truly found that a very disorienting thing and I figured as long as I was clean and not violating their standards of modesty I should be ok. I will admit I very quickly took to the love of wild patterns and bright colors, big surprise I know. I remained blissfully plain otherwise, happily wearing the same couple of shapeless dresses to church week after week, schlubbing off to market in a tee-shirt, shorts and sandals. Through it all I wondered why the women were viewing me with a mix of pity and disdain. Surely they could see I had a brain in my head and they can tell I bathe regularly. (Trinis are seriously fastidious regarding hygiene. It may be 11 degrees above the equator but you simply will NOT encounter a Trini with BO unless he is is a drunken bum passed out in the gutter. Even then he will try to have the good sense to pass out under a public water pipe so he can bathe when he revives.)

Enter my blessed Dutchie interpreter who took me aside and gave me the talking to I most needed. She said there was no way I was going to be given entre among the women unless I started being demonstrably female. She of course, understood what anathema I considered all this fuss and finery. I hasten to add I was already happy to observe the requirement of bathing twice daily in that climate and didn't mind in the least that we didn't have running hot water in the bathroom. Fresh as a daisy! But alas, daisies are such a plain thing and they don't grow well in the tropics. It was time for me to learn to be a hibiscus.

This dear lady related the tale of how she'd been corrected. She had gone to the capitol city to do some shopping. One of the items she wanted was not readily available and had to be special ordered. When it came in and she had to return to pick it up she and her local friend got ready to go. The American lady searched high and low for her claim slip and was dismayed when it could not be found. She asked her friend what she ought to do to prove the order was hers. The Trini woman said not to worry, the clerk would remember her. "Ah yes, of course, because I am a platinum blonde American in a sea of Africans and East Indians, right?" Her Trini friend regarded her head to toe and replied in all seriousness, "Nah gyul, is because yuh wearin' de same ugly bag of a dress as when yuh make de order!" Lesson learned.

I began spending more than 60 seconds styling my hair, started wearing more tailored clothes, and donning skirts when I went in public. Lo and behold, the women decided maybe I might just be worthy of consideration. On occasion, I even heard "Ooh but de blouse/skirt/dress takes you, gyul! Yuh not looking like a regular American. Yuh lookin real Trini now." Now, I still was refusing make-up so I know they were making exception for me, but they at least saw I was making an effort and recognized it. True to their forthright nature I also heard in whispered asides, "My dear, de skirt making yuh bamsee look a bit too wide. Take it to the tailor and let it out." Understand this is not an insult. It meant I had earned their concern for my welfare.

Since I had demonstrated competence with braiding my own hair in a manner evocative of the local mode I was also trusted with the heads of little girls when I went to visit friends. That sort of activity begets many more opportunities to learn about a culture because when you are sitting in someone's house braiding their child's hair while they brush another child's hair you are actually getting to see people with their own hair down and they expose themselves in ways you'd never see otherwise. It was quite astonishing to me and I was more and more grateful for that simple piece of advice from a woman who had successfully bridged two cultures.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Pennsylvania German New Year

As you know, I have been sharing various Pennsylvania German traditions lately. They've all been things I love about my culture and background. Today I will share something that I find truly revolting. This is a tradition I am glad to say my mother never tormented me with when I was growing up, but I have endured under other people. Times when I have spoken out against it I have incurred the wrath of angry dutchmen, had my character questioned, and been told I clearly am lacking in appreciation for my upbringing. I've been viewed with not a small amount of contempt. In my humble opinion I will gladly bear the burden as I continue to campaign against so horrific a tradition as this.


By now you must be wondering what atrocity I may be about to introduce you. Be warned, it is not for those with a weak constitution. Only those with the strongest stomachs and a taste for utter vileness could begin to endure it. It is the New Year's Day meal..........






Pork and Sauerkraut.






Excuse me while I take a minute to regain my composure. Even typing the words made me feel queasy. *Shudders*


Now I can appreciate that in the dark days of winter centuries ago sauerkraut was the main source of vitamin C and other important nutrients. It kept my ancestors from developing scurvy and other unpleasant deficiencies. May I just give a whoop and a holler and an Hallelujah for fresh citrus fruits and multivitamins in this day and age? Sorry, I simply find sauerkraut to be an entirely horrendous thing to eat. The smell alone makes me nauseous. Growing up in PA dutch country the school served this swill once a week. It was torment because that stench wafted through the entire school and the closer I got to the cafeteria the more pungent the smell was and the more I began to struggle to control my gag reflex.


Mr. Lime's mother grew up in a PA Dutch area and would not consider forgoing this traditional meal on New Year's Day for fear of tempting the fates to curse her with bad luck, not to mention she actually likes the stuff. There is no accounting for taste in some people. Fortunately for me, although Mr. Lime grew up eating it and actually likes the taste, his more delicate gastrointestinal makeup does not find Pork and Sauerkraut a particularly agreeable combination. He can eat one or the other, but not the two in combination.


His mother reeled in shock and horror during our first New Year's together. She asked if anyone was opposed to the traditional New Year's Fare. Being the naive bride I was, I assumed asking for my opinion meant a truthful answer was actually desired. I quickly, though respectfully, expressed my fervent desire not to be subjected to the putrescence that is a PA Dutch New Year's Day meal. After the flames from her eyes stopped burning through my chest I steadied myself and added that her son, though he enjoyed the food, preferred not spending all of January 2 feeling like his innards were being torn inside out. Such impertinence! The flamethrowers were turned to 'incinerate.' I was directed to provide the family with alternate eats and prepared a somewhat crunchy lasagna as the recipe I had for lasagna that required no precooking of noodles did not turn out quite as well as it had every other time. It must have been the start of bad luck that I brought on us for all of the year by avoiding the ritual of rotted cabbage. No matter, I defiantly waived a forkful of firmer than al dente pasta heavenward.


Over the years I have tried traditional New Year's food from other places. We had two different Taiwanese students live with us and they treated us to a lovely sort of noodle soup in which the trick was to see who found the longest noodle in his or her bowl to determine who would have the best luck of the year. In Trinidad the tradition is to have fish broth either on Old Year's Night (it's not called New Year's eve there) or New Year's Day. That was tasty enough but I wasn't too crazy about fish heads floating in my soup bowl.


I understand different parts of the USA have different traditional foods too. I have no doubt many countries have different foods too. Share with me your menu for good luck in the new year. I'm looking for an alternative. Let me know especially if chocolate is involved. In the meantime, the Lime family will be pushing our luck and having stuffed shells this year.

Happy New Year to each and every one of you.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

PA German Tuesday-Belsnickel

This is actually a repost from two years ago, with some minor tweaks to it but a lot of you were not reading me back then so I figure it's safe. If you remember this post, I hope the new pictures of my own little Belsnickels make it an acceptable repeat.









Among the PA Dutch there is a tradition of a visit from Belsnickel. Belsnickel means 'Nicholas in furs' and the image is believed to be derived from the figure of 'Black Peter' who is St. Nicholas's helper in Germany. In order to play Belsnickel, someone dressed in rags or animal pelts, masked his eyes, and wore a thick beard. He also carried a bag of sweets, fruits, and nuts in one hand and a switch in the other hand. He carried or wore bells to help announce his arrival. You can see the peppermint stick poking out of this Belsnickel's bag and the orange the Belsnickel at the top is carrying.




Belsnickel could visit at any time during December and he always arrived during waking hours, announcing his arrival with a rap at the door or window. Now before you get too excited about seeing this fellow let's remember he is carrying a switch. He's not the benign and jolly fellow that Santa Claus is. Belsnickel was every bit as likely to give the naughty kids a few lashes with the switch as he was to reward the well-behaved with nuts and sweets from his bag. If you were counted among the naughty there was opportunity to redeem yourself by singing a song or reciting a poem to Belsnickel. Unfortunately, there became a problem with some overzealous, justice-oriented Belsnickels and in some places Belsnickelling was outlawed. Today it is rare to actually be visited by Belsnickel but the threat is still made. I think this one looks like he is ready to bring that switch down on some naughty person's hinnerdale!


Among the PA Dutch there is a paradox. People are very charitable givers but those in need are not often good at receiving since self-sufficiency is so highly valued. In order for charity to be received the giver must make it seem as if the receiver is doing the giver a favor. "I made all this bread. I chust cain't use it before it goes stale and you chust cain't let good food waste. I'd be grateful if you'd take some." Belsnickel, however, allowed for widows, orphans, and others in need to be provided for with no such dance. If Belsnickel brought you food you took it, no questions asked. I like this Belsnickel because I think he looks like he is hiding a big smile under that bushy beard.



Now everyone be good, so Belsnickel is good to you!

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

PA German Tuesday-Scherenschnitte & Fraktur

Don't start by telling me "Geshundheit" after reading the title. This week I'll share a couple traditional arts among the PA Germans.
SCHERENSCHNITTE
Scherenschnitte (SHARE-en-SNIT-ah) simply means 'scissor cut' and is the intricate cutting of paper into decorative forms. This is an art form which can be found in many cultures worldwide. The traditional PA German form is recognizable by its tendency to be very symmetrical, depict silhouettes of people, or use the motifs which are found in other PA German decorative arts. It is common to find modern pieces that do not adhere to the traditional patterns but which are very finely done and beautiful nonetheless. Traditional pieces were generally done with black and white paper. Modern pieces may use various colors or may even paint some of the details once they are cut.


Here are some examples of recent works done in the traditional patterns.






*image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/14739394@N00/197580725/



Here's a blogger who does some lovely modern works.

FRAKTUR

Fraktur is another PA German folk art. It is a calligraphic style and form of illustrations used commonly for documents such a birth and baptismal certificates, marriage licenses, and diplomas. Though it is rooted in German scripts, after the settlers brought it to Pennsylvania it developed distinct differences in both style and use. One of the most notable features is the broken or fractured (hence fraktur) look of the script. I tend to describe is as calligraphy done by someone with Parkinson's disease because it looks like it was done with a shaky hand. Apparently there are several different forms of Fraktur even within the USA depending upon geography, sometimes varying from one county to the next. There is also all sorts of scholarly debate on whether the artwork expresses deep symbolism or is merely decorative. Here are some examples I really like. Again, the common motifs or hearts, birds, and stylized tulips are repeated. All images are taken from http://www.frakturweb.org//.




Tuesday, November 27, 2007

PA German Tuesday- Sum Dutchified Inklish

I know Susie has been anxiously awaiting some funny words and I aim to please. before we get to the brief listing of some of my favorite terms I want to make something very clear. There are those who would assert that PA German is not truly a dialect, that it is merely a local mangling of standard English. I beg to differ. The local vernacular would be considered Dutchified English. That's not a technical term used by linguists as far as I know, but I think most locals would agree on the usage. True Pennsylvania German is a dialect entirely separate from English. It has it's own vocabulary and grammar rules. My own stepfather spoke only this dialect until he went to school. Though it is nearly impossible to find anyone under the age of 50 outside the Amish and Mennonite communities who speaks the dialect anymore there has been an effort at cultural preservation. Kutztown University of PA now offers a minor in PA German studies which includes dialect classes as well as history.

Ok, onto the fun words. Today I will just start with some of my favorite terms that I grew up hearing or still use myself. I will be using mostly phonetic spellings to try to get across the way a PA German accent sounds. I'll take some from Gary Gates' books How to Speak Dutchified English, vol 1 & 2, some from A. Monroe Aurand, Jr's Quaint Idioms and Expressions of the Pennsylvania Germans, and some from my own head.

All: finished, all gone. Can I have another piece of butter bread? No, the bread's all.

Butter bread: You never have your evening meal that bread is not on the table and bread must be buttered.

Dippy Eck: eggs sunny side up, so you can dip your toast in the yolk.

Doppick: Gates says this means dumb but when I was growing up it was used as a reference to clumsiness. I never saw sooch a doppick chilt as you!

Ferhoodled: Confused, mixed up. Vell naw, did Pappy say to come ofer on Mondee or Tuesdee? I cain't remember, I'm all ferhoodled.

Filling: What most folks call stuffing, even though a proper potato filling doesn't get stuffed into a bird but baked in a casserole. I had a very difficult time with Isaac on Thanksgiving since he insisted on calling the potato filling 'stuffing.' It ain't right, I tell you. The boy is ferikked!

Ferikked: deranged, sick in the head.

For so: just for fun. Is that new dress for a special occasion? No, it's chust for so.

Hinnerdale: hindquarters, backside. He'll get a paddling on his hinnerdale if he doesn't behafe!

Get awt (out): an expression of surprise. The dress was on sale. I only paid $20 for it. Get awt!

Grex: complain, whine, moan. Grexy is also used to describe fussy babies. Naw sit dawn and do your lessons (homework) and don't grex so.

Nix Nootz: mischeivous person. That little boy is such a nix nootz!

Outten: turn off. Outten the lights. It's time for bed.

Rhett beat ex: no this is not about Scarlett O'Hara getting her due. It's a popular recipe for eggs pickled in vinegar with red beets.

Rutch (vowel sound rhymes with that of 'foot'): squirmy, unsettled. Would you stop rutching around so!

Shnoop-dook (again, rhymes with foot): handkerchief. More or less translates as nose wipe.

Schmutz (same rhyme as above two): can mean to gunk up or to kiss. Schmutz up the axle with some grease but go wash up before you try to give me a schmutz.

Stroobly: messy, unkempt hair but really no decent English equivalent becasue it goes beyond bedhead. Such a stoobly mess! Have you ever met a comb?

Vendue (more often pronounced with an initial F sound): public sale or auction, farmer's market. Will I see you at the vendue on friday?

Dutchmen may not always speak properly and as such the term 'dumb Dutchman' is commonly heard. Most folks who hear a thick accent unfairly assume a person is lacking in intellect and education. For this reason my parents were quite strict about the language my brother and I used. No child of theirs was going to be called a dumb Dutchman. That said, here's a little joke about the situation. It illustrates several PA German values actually.

A dutchman farmer scrimped and saved to send his only child, a daughter, to Kutztown College. So after graduating high school off she goes. During her first semester she enjoys the party life a bit too much and comes to make a decision she regrets. At Christmas break she comes home and tells her father,

"Daddy, I have bad news. I'm sorry. I ain't a wirgin (virgin) anymore. Please forgive me."

He hollers, "Vot (what) dit choo say?!"

"I ain't a wirgin anymore, Daddy. I'm sorry."

"Vell, I cain't belief such a sing (thing)! This is crazy! I'm just feraikled (disgusted) by this whole sing!"

"Daddy, I know I brought shame on you since I ain't a wirgin and I'm sorry."

"I don't care you're not a wirgin, girl! I cain't belief I spend good money to send you to Kutztown and you STILL say 'ain't'!"