A Crappy Gift

It truly is a miraculous season and blog fodder in terms of weird gift ideas is flowing freely....like a cow on laxatives.  Speaking of bovine scatology I have another bizarre stocking stuffer for all you shoppers looking  for unique and memorable gifts to give.

This was plopped at my feet via an email from a friend.  Today's gift idea is PooPooPaper. 

It's paper made from animal poo.  The site explains that several species of large, herbivorous mammals have very inefficient digestive systems so their poo is very heavy in fibrous material.  Some might suggest anyone wanting to turn poo into paper might have shit for brains but apparently the inventors of PooPooPaper wanted to find an alternative, ecologically sound source for paper other that wood pulp.  Maybe they have shit for brains, maybe that rationale is a steaming pile, but maybe...just maybe they have fertilized the seeds of genius which have blossomed into a sound business.

The site allows you to shop according to item type such as social stationery, greeting cards, photo albums, and other items.  If you prefer you can shop according to which animal's excrement was used to produce the paper.  My favorite part of the site is where they sell Poo-litical PooPooPaper.  There you can find elephant poo and donkey dung derived papers all with appropriately scathing commentary on the respective parties represented.

After the assurances of odorless products and explanations of the process and rational I only wonder why they haven't begun to produce rolls of toilet paper.

Slice of Lime-Strange Traditions

Some families have lovely sentimental traditions which bind the generations together. Other families eschew tradition altogether. Then there are those which observe some rather strange rituals year after year.

Case in point, my brother and I were not taught that there was such a thing as an Easter Bunny. Judging by the bananas we are holding it would seem the Easter Monkey came to visit us. I believe my brother is actually taking a call from him.

I know this next tradition may come as a surprise to you all because every picture I have ever posted of myself is one of restrained and quiet dignity but I have enjoyed making ugly faces at cameras since I was small. there's a shot in my mother's photo album from when I was 4. My parent's were celebrating something and wanted a nice family picture. I got very tired of sitting nicely and waited for the photographer to tell us, Say cheese!" At the moment the picture was taken I stopped smiling, stretched my face into a grimace with my fingers, and stuck out my tongue. The photographer suggested that when I was all grown up I'd regret ruining the picture. Either I have yet to grow up at the tender age of thirty-eleven or the photographer was just W-R-O-N-G because I still laugh when I look at that picture.

Anyway, my mother-in-law bought my kids their Easter clothes every year until about 3 years ago. She asked for a nice picture of them in the clothes in return. I always met her request but typically we'd take one or two nice shots then I'd let the kids act like lunatics for the rest of the roll (back in the film days). Here's one of my favorite years.

Here is last year. There was a certain lack of enthusiasm among some individuals for either smiling or grimacing last year. Ennui seems to be the new grimace.

Finally, here is a tradition that stretches back to the days when my great grandmother filled the baskets. We'd all get the standard basket fare of chocolate bunnies, jelly beans, malted milk ball eggs and.....decapitated marshmallow peeps. To this day my kids know better than to expect an intact marshmallow peep in their baskets.

Eat up!

According to this post at Slashfood.com today is National Scrapple Day. I am willing to bet few of you have so much as the slightest inkling as to what scrapple is. No cheating by Googling or checking out the links first!

Let's back up a bit. Many of you know I used to do Trini Tuesday posts featuring information about the culture, history, and foods of Trinidad or sharing some of my experiences of living there. After about a year and a half of that weekly feature I switched to my home culture and started doing Pennsylvania German Tuesday posts.

Well, scrapple falls very firmly (or should I say splats rather disgustingly) into the Pennsylvania German category. It's a food. Though I have shared recipes of sumptuous delectables I grew up eating and though I observe certain culinary traditions with great gusto this is not one I would ever choose to celebrate. Why, you ask? Let's just take a little looksee at the ingredient list shall we? According to an article found here it is:

"cornmeal mush made with the meat and broth of pork, seasoned with onions, spices and herbs and shaped into loaves for slicing and frying."

image from http://home.comcast.net/~jomercer/Dutch%20Blitzkrieg/db%20pics/faq/scrapple.jpg

Heck, that sounds vaguely similar to sausage and really not too bad at all. But wait! There's more! True enough the old adage tells you if you enjoy sausage don't watch it being made. Scrapple is even worse. First off, it starts by boiling a pig's head. Secondly the "meat" used in scrapple is the stuff not even good enough for sausage. It includes skin, tongues, hearts, brains, livers or as many a Pennsylvania German likes to say, "everything but the oink." After all that offal is boiled with the head to make a broth the meat is removed and cornmeal along with the seasonings and possibly buckwheat is boiled into the broth and the finely minced meat is added back in. Once it's all glopped up it is formed into loaves and left to set up. And you thought spam was a horrid thing!

Theoretically scrapple could be eaten "raw" because it's all been cooked in the process required to make the loaves. That would be terribly unlike the Pennsylvania Germans though. Full preparation includes slicing the loaf and frying the individual slices until they are golden and crispy on the outside and soft on the inside. It is generally considered a breakfast food and would be an option alongside bacon or sausage to complement eggs, fried potatoes or perhaps mixed in with all of that together. If it's eaten in slices it might be slathered with ketchup or maple syrup. Occasionally folks may even make a scrapple sandwich. Though why they'd want to is far beyond my comprehension.


I have to admit Mr. Lime, Diana, and Isaac are all fans of this dish which Calypso and I find especially vile. If the lovers of loaved hog offal in this house wish to celebrate National Scrapple Day they will have to do so by their own efforts. Calypso and I will instead be observing an alternate holiday, which Slashfood.com also lists for today, Cook Something Bold & Pungent Day. Bring on the curried venison!