Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Signs of an Unwell Mind

A couple of nights ago I pulled the bag of potatoes out of the pantry. Honestly, they haven't been there long enough that they should be sprouting. A few of them had poked right through the bag. Normal people might have thrown the spuds away. You already know I am not normal. I was repulsed and inspired simultaneously.




Calypso saw me taking pictures and added some of her own ideas as to how to utilize the spuds that were trying to either escape my kitchen or were plotting to kill us in our sleep. You can pick your nose. You can pick your potatoes. Now your potatoes can pick your nose.


She was going for the spokesmodel with a spud eye dropper here and yes, she is adorable but I am not seeing eye to eye (har har har) with that notion. I'm just a wee tad creeped out by the possibility of that thing possibly crawling through her eye and up into her brain where it takes root as it slowly turns her into some sort of tuberous zombie.




Diana was not impressed by our antics. The only creativity she wanted was that which would fill her stomach. I bet she wouldn't even crack a smile at the cheesy little French moustaches and beards I gave my dueling spuds.



Recognizing that I was not going to start cooking until she participated in the lunacy, Diana finally offered her own use for the rogue roots. Ever been flipped off by a potato?
Alright, already....I got down to the business of making latkes and we feasted on the wild spuds before they could feast on us. And no, this is not the first time the potatoes in my house have tried to foment rebellion. Here's pictorial evidence of The Spud Skirmish of 2006.




Last night's dinner was far more sedate and decorous as we feasted on Porcupine Balls thanks to Kat's posting of her recipe. Serve something called Porcupine Balls to three teenagers and wait for the comments to start. Dinner conversation will be roughly akin to the SNL "Schweddy Balls" sketch....only with meat...uh, yeah, with meat.

37 comments:

Polt said...

Hehehehe, how creative your family is with food! Even before you attempt to prepare it! The en garde had me laughing...

Ella said...

yahtzee!!!

Ella said...

dang! polt beat me to it.

and who ever said potatoes were just a boring ol' starch never saw them taters ;)

Cocotte said...

'Fun With Food' would be a wonderful idea for a Lime book. Your girls are too cute!

furiousBall said...

mmmm, balls

Cheesy said...

Shit and shine-olla... This post makes me miss my kids!!

Desmond Jones said...

Nice to know that yer girls have inherited your off-the-wall sense of humor. . .

And, I dunno. . . there's something vaguely 'alien-tendril-y' about those sprout thingies. (Or maybe 'sperm-ish', but I won't go there. . .)

Craver Vii said...

(gasp!) Don't play around with potatoes; someone could poke an eye out!!!!

S said...

Hee hee hee! Potatoes can be very dangerous. Around here, they often leap off the counter and smash your bare toes!

How fun to see the girls getting into the action!

Said in heavy Yonkers accent:

Garrrry, dont play with the patatahs, you'll put an eye out with them things!

S said...

OK LMAO @ that old potato post. I remember it well.

Hilary said...

Your kids are as nutty as you. Lucky for them. :) Hilarious post.

Cooper said...

You certainly cannot deny that either of them belong to you...especially Calypso...

EmBee said...

Thanks for the Shweddy Balls sketch, it's been a while since I've seen that one and still leaves me giggling like a school girl.
:-)

mssolitaire said...

hahahahaha!!! I love your creativity with what you're given at the drop of a hat! :D

mssolitaire said...

Hahahahahaha!!! That Spud Skirmish is AWESOME!!!!!

airplanejayne said...

Rogue Roots!?!?!?!

hmmmm.....I sense a ROGUE SHOW!!!!

Kat said...

I love that even your potatoes are purple! ;)

Those girls of yours are too cute. I'm sure they had a blast with the balls. Hope they liked them too!

Breazy said...

I love how creative you and your family are. Sorry I haven't been around in a while but being sick then busy catching up has left me no time.

Your daughters are beautiful!

Have a great day!

G-Man said...

Diana is a beautiful red head..
Calypso...? WOW!! And she looks just like YOU!!!

Porcupine balls is what we lay on top of the roaster of Galumpki's when you run out of cabbage leaves!

Seamus said...

BWAHAHAHA! I can think of a hundred uses for potatoes (ok, only 5) but I would have never guessed the nose, eye and finger! ;)

Lulda Casadaga said...

Too damn funny...and so was the 2006 post. You made my nite! I needed that too...:)

NYD said...

You must be, like, the most awesome mom!
Mine always told me NOT to play with my food, but you get your kids to join in on the shenannigans.

What fun!!

citizen of the world said...

I think those are actually aliens.

david mcmahon said...

You shoulda launched 'em into outer space - as Spudnik!!!!

barman said...

OK, now I am regretting coming for a visit. The third picture of Calypso, besides reminding me of you... reminds me of a movie star and I can not for the life of me figure out her name or where I saw her. I just know I am not going to be able to sleep tonight. Well that and I think my spuds are in similar shape to what your spuds were. Every noise I hear I am going to think the spuds are attacking. Thanks Calypso! By the way, it would be such a waste of a person to turn Calypso into a tuberous zombie. Just say no.

Love your creativity. Way to much fun with spuds.

The Porcupine Balls sounds simple enough and yummy. Now I am hungry again.

barman said...

Yea, I found it. The person Calypso reminds me of is Selma Blair.

Now I know you will say I am wrong but that picture so reminded me of Salma, the character she played in Legally Blonde (Vivian).

I am just happy I found it. Now I can sleep tonight.

barman said...

Oh David Mcmahon, groan! OK, you got a chuckle out of me. Just think, if Spudnik comes back to earth than you probably would have french fries. Pass the catchup.

Ella said...

came back because all i've been able to think about are these potatoes somehow coming together with mark leslie's "darth tater" gig he had going on - remember that?!?

Mona said...

Thanks to Diana & calypso for demonstrating various uses of potatoes!

Your girls look great!

Jocelyn said...

Your girls are so gorgeous...and the pix are high-larious.

I thought you were going to end up making potato prints with the spouters! We've done that on grocery bags, to make "wrapping paper."

cathy said...

Did Desmond have to say the sperm thing! I'll never be able to look a sprouting spud in the eye again!

I hate strawberry shortcake, kill,KILL!

+

misticblu said...

OMG! That's what my husband calls my sausage balls....
The girls are BEAUTIFUL!!
You know you can't PLAN the hilarity, it just freakin happens.
This will be one of those memorable " remember that time mom..."

Suldog said...

Have I told you lately that you're unwell and I love you? Well, you are and I do!

And you have the children you deserve (which is to say slightly demented, but in a nice sort of way.)

Chickadee said...

LOL!!!

Ahhh it's so nice that you're passing down your quirky sense of humor to your limelettes.

Poutalicious said...

Recipe:
1 girl potato (eyes for the boy)
+
1 boy potato (eyes for the girl)
=
1 little sweet potato named "Yam"

tsduff said...

I've done a lot of things with potatoes, but never picked a nose or been flipped off by one. Love those purple beauties. I put mine in a pot with dirt when they act like that...(some are outside in the winter garden right now).

GreenJello said...

Yeah. Teens.

The conversation last night surrounding "Face The Wall" was ummm.... interesting.