Food Weirdness

Last week several of you seemed to enjoy the Love it or Hate it post. Way back in January of 2007 I also posted a Fabulously Weird and Entirely Original Food Meme, in case you're interested. Today I'll share some more of my own food related weirdness.

1. When I was a preschooler my parents let me get away with eating nothing but hot dogs and buttered noodles every night for dinner...for...a...YEAR! Now, if you know my parents this is so far outside what would be considered standard operating procedure it's inconceivable. I think it needs to be chalked up to me being the first born and them trying to be modern, liberal parents. It took them a year to realize that perhaps their dear little Lime might wind up with the arteries of an elderly heart patient before she entered kindergarten if they kept tolerating that nonsense. I think I also helped or hurt my own cause (depending upon your perspective) when I decided to stop eating the ENDS of the hot dogs because I didn't like the way they looked all pinched off and puckered. That put them over the edge and ended my hot dog diet.

2. Since I consumed my lifetime allotment of hot dogs before I went to kindergarten I really don't find them very appealing anymore but if I am going to eat one I want it grilled until the skin is black, then put some onions and ketchup on it, maybe some cheese.

3. Although I was expected to eat a wider range of food than hot dogs and buttered noodles I continued to be very picky. At one point my mother told me how when she was a girl she covered whatever food she didn't like in mashed potatoes. I thought that sounded pretty awful but said drowning offending foods in applesauce would be ok with me. Now that's not too bad to most people if you're talking about not liking pork chops or something of that ilk. I didn't like spaghetti when I was small. Yes, I'd have a pile of spaghetti, with sauce on it, covered in applesauce. I didn't like sloppy joes either so I ate the bread alone put the sauced up meat on my plate and dumped applesauce over it. Those are just 2 of the more gruesome food pictures. My mother carried a jar of the stuff wherever we went. Just so we are clear, I no longer smother a plate of food in applesauce but I do still enjoy a bowl of it. My own dear limelets are so spoiled they will only tolerate jarred applesauce if they are sick with some stomach bug. Otherwise they expect warm homemade applesauce.

4. Now we move on to the weirdnesses that have continued in my life. You know I hate mayonnaise, REALLY hate it. I do not ever put it on a sandwich. Some people have tried to convert me to the idea of using mustard or butter on sandwiches instead. No thank you. I like my sandwiches dry, unless I am having a hoagie. (No, they are not subs or heros. I grew up outside of Philadelphia. All sandwiches on long, hard rolls are h-o-a-g-i-e-s. You may call them grinders if they have been toasted in an oven. Otherwise they are hoagies. The required condiments on a hoagie are oil and vinegar.)

My grandparents tried for years to convince me of the merit of mayo, mustard, or butter. Every Sunday after church I'd have lunch with them. We had a ritual I came to regard as just an extension of the church service for them as we had our antiphonal exchange.

Girl, you want some mayonnaise for that sandwich?
No thank you.
Some mustard?
No thank you.
How about some butter?
No thank you, I like my sandwiches dry.
Girl, I don't know HOW on earth you can choke down a dry sandwich.
Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost. As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, sandwich without mayo, mustard, or butter.

Then we moved on to the discussion over rice pudding with raisins. I insisted the raisins were dead flies. My grandfather insisted they were dried up boogers. In retrospect, I guess he would know since he was the one who made the rice pudding.

5. Although I find mayo repulsive I do like tuna salad. I just make mine with Italian dressing instead of mayo. I use sour cream for chicken salad. There is no way to redeem egg salad since I despise both mayo AND the yolks of hard boiled eggs. I also think egg salad looks like someone with a really bad sinus infection sneezed on a plate.

Now it's your turn to share some of your food related weirdness with me.