Tuesday, December 15, 2009

It's Beginning to Look a Bit Disturbing

Christmas gets weirder and weirder every year. I was in a bookstore the other day and I found this Charlie Brown Christmas kit. Is it me or does the very notion of this run contrary to the whole point of that particular Christmas special?



I've you've ever visited the Cake Wrecks site you've seen some truly horrific excuses for professionally decorated cakes. This week I found examples in my own town. All three of these were from the same bakery. I warn you, this is not for the weak of heart...or stomach.

Rudolph the Moldy Moustached Icing Blob anyone? No takers? No wonder. Even the cake looks revolted by itself.



How about this charming cake?
You're a foul one, Mr. Wreck.
You're a nasty wasty cake.
You're as pretty as some roadkill, you're as yummy as it too.
You're a slimy icky pile of green and red poo.




Lest we think the wrecks are limited to full-sized cake allow me to present some disastrous donuts. I'm not sure what is more upsetting, the snow white faces, the leaves for noses, the oddly swirly "hair," or the skewed smiles indicating a general sense of nausea.




Ok, I have poked fun at the bizarre ideas others have made available for Christmas, it's time to turn the tables on myself. Our office had the staff Christmas party this week. I presented this cushy handmade pillow to one of my coworkers who is known for laying her head on the ample bosom of another coworker and remarking on how comfortable a place it is to rest her head. I figure now she has a set of hooters to lay on any time she needs it.


Yes, I really made this and really gave it as a gift to a coworker in a place where I've only been working for about 3 months. I am just that twisted. Apparently, my coworkers are equally twisted. They thought it was fantastic.

Yeah, yeah, next you'll find the pillow on Regretsy.com. Just remember I've done an annual skewering of Etsy crafts just in time for various holidays for the past couple of years.

Here's my evidence.
Last minute Valentine gifts
Weird Gifts
Creativity Gone Awry


16 comments:

Cocotte said...

Those cakes are just wack! Who would buy such a thing? But the pillow - now that I could definitely see being a best seller!

Jazz said...

What a refreshing post. This is the sort of Christmas I can deal with.

Craig said...

Oh - I thought it was a pair of fried eggs. . .

Suldog said...

Yes, I was just as upset concerning the Charlie Brown tree. It is the total antithesis of the message conveyed within the cartoon itself.

I love the sign: "Fun Donuts"

Yeah, much better than the "Misery Donuts" we have in the next display case.

Cricket said...

Yikes! Those are some scary cakes, and this is coming from someone who likes corner-cuts with flowers on them. That is one hell of a lot of frosting.

I bet you could sell a bunch of those pillows on eBay or something, though.

Moannie said...

Oh the nutty ideas come out in full force at this time of year-but those cakes just don't look tempting do they?

Love the pillow, how about a big soft [but smooth, not hairy please] belly...I can't bend as good as I once did.

G-Man said...

I prefer the Real McCoy!!

S said...

Yes! You can sell boob pillows along with the tie dyes on ETSY!
Or regretsy!

:P

Too funny and I too hate that Charlie Brown kit stuppidddd!

Craver Vii said...

I, on the other hand, actually like the Charlie Brown Christmas, because they de-emphasize the importance of the tree, and make sure to include the account of the birth of Christ.

Horrible cakes, though. That looks like a cow patty on top of the one.

choochoo said...

those are some horrible cakes. Not that I wouldn't eat them anywayws, mind you...

Jocelyn said...

Did you give your boss a homemade muzzle? Just a thought.

The cakes kind of "get" me--because they are clearly made by a real person not following a template.

Ananda girl said...

The pillow is a treasure! What a hoot... er hooters.

Beach Bum said...

Lime, I'm the Will Rogers of cakes cause I have never had one I didn't like.

Yeah, the Charlie Brown kit is more than a little creepy.

coopernicus said...

Send those cakes and doughnuts to Gallagher...that's the only suitable use for them...

Kat said...

Think they put enough frosting on those cakes? Sheesh!

I think my hubby might like that pillow. The poor man needs an ample place to rest his head to ya know. ;)

Anonymous said...

Do the pillows come in different sizes? haha Very good idea though;)