Tormenting Myself by Applying Logic and Tormenting Others With...

From Friday through today I am completely consumed by work since I am covering a girl on vacation and we have even more activities going on at the office than usual. So, today just some random thoughts on life at the office....no great insights I admit.

• I don't think I will ever understand why the people who do not ever seem to discipline their children and who seemed completely annoyed by them continue to spawn. This is not an indictment of large families, I know several of those who have well-mannered children. I'm talking about the "parents" who come into the office screaming at their kids and making idle threats the kids know will never be followed through. The kids are terrors and try to run the place.


• Likewise, the coworkers who indulge this crap. Sorry, I don't take orders from preschoolers. I will not reward kids who run behind the desk and demand snacks by screaming and crying. Ask politely and we can do business. That goes if you are 3 or 83.


• If the boss doesn't eat sugar because it's bad for you why does she always have candy, cookies, danish, donuts for everyone else?


• How is it that the lady who is always making sure we see her most recently acquired piece of expensive jewelry is always short on money and can't swing her relatively small copay? Wait, I think that one just answered itself...


• I was told the boss will "love" me if I some in on days off, do extra work, and stay extra hours. I laughed before responded that earning her "love" was roughly #7,398,614 on my list of life goals, priorities, and motivations. (Never mind the entirely incongruous notion of "earning" love...) I do my job to the best of my ability, with integrity, and as efficiently as possible while being respectful to the boss, cooperative with coworkers, and welcoming to the patients. If that ain't satisfactory I'm not the one with the problem.


• Of course, I was given that pearl of wisdom after I was criticized for "doing the bare minimum of work to get by," which came after I had repeatedly asked to be trained in a few other procedures so I could help pick up slack when the other girls are running like crazy. I was told I wasn't allowed to perform those particular activities.

Finally, I've been asked to provide a brief bio for the office website. The bosses know not what they ask.

Michelle was raised by Albanian gypsies. She has a degree in early 19th century Cameroonian poetry and East Asian astrology. For a few years after graduating she worked to build a herd of alpacas to supply extras for movies and to harvest their wool to knit custom outfits for pygmy acrobats. Unfortunately the herd was struck by a rare form of highly contagious mange so her dream of miniature woolly circus performers was cut short. Since the sight of bald alpacas and naked pygmies was so devastating she spent a few years in seclusion at a Himalayan convent where the nuns centered their contemplation and worship on determining which Brussels Sprout would ascend to the position as the next incarnation of Head Cabbage. In a moment of great clarity she received the call to chiropractic assistantship and thereafter began her period of employ in the service of the Grand Mistress of Chiropractic Wisdom. In her spare time Michelle enjoys confusing cats, creating mosaics of Fruit Loops depicting B-list celebrities reenacting religious scenes, and translating the works of Leo Tolstoy into Klingon.