Over the weekend, Calypso and I picked up a book called Would You Rather...?: Over 200 Absolutely Absurd Dilemmas to Ponder. We couldn't resist when we read questions like "Would you rather have a ketchup dispensing navel or a pencil sharpening nostril?" Personally, I'd go for a ketchup navel because that could be handy at cookouts but the pencil shavings in my sinuses might be bothersome. We howled over a lot of the options then began generating a few of our own.
Would you rather...
Have uncontrollably loud, and frequent flatulence that smelled like a popular perfume
or
Never pass gas, always be impeccably groomed, but forever have B.O. that smells like an open sewer?
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Have to hear the same song (Muskrat Love by The Captain & Tenille) 24 hours a day for a week
or
Eat the same meal three times a day for a week (tofu hot dogs and canned peas)?
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Suffer from the delusion that you are the reincarnation of Abraham Lincoln/Queen Victoria
or
Have your significant other believe you are the alter ego of Spiderman/Wonder Woman?
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Have a mariachi band follow you wherever you go
or
Be required, anytime your date enters a room, to announce him/her in the style of a professional wrestler?
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Dress like Dumb Donald and have Einstein's smarts
or
Look like Amy Winehouse and have Mother Theresa's compassion?
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Sit through a performance of Hamlet done in pig latin
or
Listen to the cast of Jersey Shore provide literary analysis on Shakespeare?
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Try to eat BBQ ribs and corn on the cob while wearing mittens
or
Only be allowed to dial your cell phone with your toes?
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Be able to read everyone's mind
or
Have your own thoughts broadcast on the big screen in Times Square?
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Now it's your turn!
Answer in the comments and feel free to contribute your own crazy conundrums for the rest of us to consider.
19 comments:
Just because I want to picture your future holiday gatherings, I have to also point out that there's a board game of this thing. Oh, and we're taking our WOULD YOU RATHER in my purse on the flight on Tuesday...it's that entertaining!
This book seems so totally made for you it's scary.
Given the choice between tofu dogs and muskrat love, I'd definitely go with the dogs...
Hmmm... I've pondered 1a before. So did Benjamin Franklin.
I'd eat BBQ ribs and corn on the cob every day for a week, even with mittens.
Extreme Grossness Alert! Once, during a chemically-enhanced college rap session, I hit a friend with this poser: For a million dollars cash, would you drink a tall, frosty glass of diarrhea? His response: My own, or someone else's? (Bleah)
Yep. That's why they call it "dope."
would you rather....
have sex everyday with Rev. Al Sharpton
or
live in celibacy on the planet of naked hugh jackmans
????
Cooper's questions is just cruel.
CRUEL!!
funny stuff
Are you suggesting that my exhaust fumes do NOT smell like perfume??
I would definitely rather read other people's minds than have them know what bizarre and disgusting things happen between my ears.
ootay Eebay Oryay Otnay ootay EEbay. Atthay isyay uhthay estionquay?
Rockray Onyay Initray...:-)
That's just hilarious stuff, Lime. I would love nothing more than to give you my considered opinions concerning each set of choices, but if my boss walks by and see me writing a treatise on farting...
I'll contribute a choice, though:
Would you rather be a gigantic peanut in a room full of squirrels, or a blow-up doll in a 350-pound sweaty virgin computer geek's motel room?
Ugh. That one grosses ME out and I thought of it...
My kids have this board game at their Dad's house but before it came out, we'd been playing our own version of this dinner-time game for years.
So okay, would you rather be unable to bathe but have all clean clothes to wear?
or
Be able to bathe but only have filthy clothes to wear?
Not sure where that came from, guess because I should be doing laundry right now.
LOL
I try to not make decisions such as these on a too regular basis.
1) perfumed but loud farts
2) eating the same meal over and over. I often do that anyway
3) oh yeah, I want to be Wonder Woman in someone else's delusion. I would play along! Didn't she have a lasso and a cool cape?
4) marachi band following me around. 24/7 dance music...
5) amy whinehouse with mother theresa compassion...
6) amletHay inway igpay atinlay 'otay ebay orway otnay otay ebay!'
To fall in love with someone who doesn't love you or to have someone you don't love fall in love with you?
There is my question....
I am so touched by your Da Count post this week.
Ugh just the thought of pencil shavings in my nostrils makes me shudder!! ewwww!!
--snow
This is hilarious.. leave it to you.
Sign me up for ribs and corn and the Mariachi band. And please excuse the perfume.
Would you rather be wealthy or happy? There's one for you Michelle. - Dave
what a hoot! I'll be pondering these for days now although #1 is easy ~ definitely the perfume!
here's one:
listen to fingers scraping a chalkboard for an hour or being locked in a room full of screaming toddlers for 5 hours?
I would do the loud farting. I'd just bring the pooch with me everywhere and blame it on her.
I'd rather have a drink in front of me than a frontal lobotomy...
Bill
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