Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Eight Taggy Things

 This is a tag by this is a tag from Cooper via Xmichra. I am supposed to answer her questions and then write 8 of my own. Then I am supposed to tag 8 people to answer my questions. Here are her questions and my answers…

1) It’s your second date with a person you met on match.com.  They invite you to a formal party at a friend of theirs who lives on a massive estate in the country.  The two of you are dressed to the nines and drive up a long curved drive surrounded by trees. Eventually you pull up to a huge stone mansion with lush green grass as far as the eye can see in all directions.  Your date takes you inside, walks you across cherry wood floors, past delicate antiques and plush furniture to the back patio where about 70 people all sit in a dozen or so hot tubs.  Everyone, of course, is naked.  What’s your next move?
Cannonbaaaaaaaall!!!!!!!!


2) You have the choice of having David Letterman chaperone your daughter to her senior prom or having Stevie Wonder paint your living room.  Which do you choose and why…
Stevie with paint, definitely.  The creative potential would be great.  I'd keep changing the paint pan with different colors just so he never knew which color he was getting too.  I think it would be awesome to see the results.  Just make sure the windows are taped.  But have at it on the walls and ceiling.  That would be great.  Kind of Jackson Pollock meets kindergarten, I'm thinking.


3) Twenty people are protesting in front of your house. What are they chanting?
The Rodent Advocacy Team (RAT) are all dressed like hamsters and shouting, "Free the Hamster!"  I am able to distract them by having several furries infiltrate the crowd.


4) When Harry Met Sally.  The diner scene.  Could you pull that off?  In public? (applies to male and female)
Uh huh....yes...  Yes!  Ooooooh, yeeeessss!!!!!!


5) There are but three foods left in the world: Twinkies, avocado and spam.  How long will you last before resorting to cannibalism?
I think I'd boil my Birkenstocks and eat them first.


6) Speaking or which, the zombies are on the march.  What skills do you posses that will keep you alive?
 I know lots of fools with just enough brains to be tasty but not enough to evade lumbering zombies.  I'd send a steady stream of them in the path of the zombies.  Once that supply dwindled I'd just rely on my marksmanship.


7) You’re in the library browsing through the stacks in the far corner when a good-looking stranger catches your eye.  This person walks up to you and says you are the most beautiful/handsome person they have ever seen and will give you $50 if the can lick your feet for five minutes.  OK.  Now what?
If you still wanna lick my feet after I reveal them to you, show me the money and you can have at it.



8) Religion is outlawed in favor of personal spirituality.  How will that alter the rest of your life?
 The snarky side of me would be happy that a certain arrogant clergyman will have to find something productive to do.  The sincere side of me would say it's all about a relationship not a religion anyway.  The ornery side of me would wonder what the heck happened to the Bill of Rights.


And now on to my questions...

1. In 10 words or fewer explain the media fascination with Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton.
2. Which of your coworkers most drives you to fantasies of homicidal rage and which irritating behavior from this individual is most likely to set your fancy to flight?
3. Describe the art project you'd create if I gave you 3 dirty socks, a baggie of old bread wrapper twistie ties, a D cell battery, a pound of peanut shells, and a small bottle of dishwashing liquid.  What message would you hope to convey to the masses with your great piece of art?
4. For the next month you either have to go every where dressed in a mariachi jacket and neoprene pants or you have to enter every room, public or private, singing "Hit Me, Baby, One More Time."  Which do you choose and why?
5. Knock, knock.  Who's there?
6. What would you do for a Klondike bar?
7. Poof!  You will now be a member of the opposite sex for the next month.  What do you think you will learn?  What do you hope to experience?  What do you dread?
8. Fill in the blank.  I really ought to___________ but instead I will__________.

I'm tagging  Mary, Gman, Cricket (because I don't think he has ever been tagged yet), SuldogBeach Bum, Jazz, Craig, Fadkog, Moannie(who says she needs post ideas), and Bubba.  Yeah I know that's more than eight but considering how many times I have responded to tags from other people and NOT tagged anyone, I figure I could technically tag the whole lot of you.  Of course, you're welcome to filch this even if I didn't tag you.








21 comments:

Hilary said...

Your Stevie Wonder idea totally cracked me up. You're a hoot, Lime. I'm looking forward to reading a few of these responses to your questions.

secret agent woman said...

Little confused about how where you met your date would affect your answer on the first one.

But the Harry Met Sally scene I always thought that was a very silly version of that particular moment. Wouldn't be hard to do a better job with it.

G-Man said...

Trini....
I don't do well with tags ya know.
But you are my most loyalest blogger buddy we shall see.

Beach Bum said...

Sounds like a riot, will work on it soon.

Moannie said...

Gosh, Lime! Compete with you? I shall have a go because I have never managed to ignore a challenge, or in this case, a dare. I'll have to polish up my funny bone. I may be some time.

Eric Alder said...

I'm not IT! You never touched me!

Okay, okay... I was tagged. I'll get to work.

Eric Alder said...

Okay, I'm done!
Tagged

haphazardlife said...

Damn. OK, I'll give it a shot... Momma always told me I had to be polite.

Jocelyn said...

Extremely fun, as always! I'm lookıng forward to how Jazz answers your questıons...

Btw, LUVING the connectıons you're drawıng ın comments between your Trınıdad tıme and my current tıme.

Suldog said...

Since my recently-lessened intake of nicotine has left me bereft of the skills to write anything truly coherent, I actually welcome the opportunity to indulge in some memery. Thanks, O Queen Of The Memes! Look for it tomorrow.

furiousBall said...

I've never understood the whole foot thing. In fact I don't get it so much that I really wouldn't care if someone licked mine. But I'll take the $50

clean and crazy said...

this was funny too. i loved the foot response!!

Craig said...

Somebody wants to lick my feet for $50, they're welcome to it. I s'pose I probably oughta have Jen with me, tho, eh? ;)

And I'm with you on the Stevie paint job. Sorta like a tie-dyed living room, right?

I imagine if anyone was gonna demonstrate in front of my house, it'd have to be some sort of population-control outfit. . .

And, uh. . . as to #8 (the one you answered, not the one you asked). . . good luck with that. . .

Craig said...

And listen, I'm with G-man; I don't do well with tags. But you've got some pretty fun stuff here, so how 'bout if I just answer 'em here?

1) In the immortal words of Jim Morrison, 'People Are Strange'.

2) I once worked worked with a young fella named Andy who had a monumental sense of his own importance, and thought nothing of firing off scathing notes to somebody's boss if, in whatever trivial way, they demonstrated that they didn't share his exalted opinion of himself. I sat in a meeting with Andy and an older guy named Harvey (a Navy vet), and their mutual boss (who was Pakistani, so you can fake the accent in your brain; it really does add to the effect), in which the boss said, "Now, Harvey, you mustn't call Andy a c*cks*cker." 'Cuz, you know, Harvey had done that, and Andy complained about it to the boss. . .

3) A diorama of my college dorm room. . .

4) Hey, I've had some good times that involved mariachis. . .

5) It's just me. . .

6) Darned little, actually. . .

7) (a) Insight into the sweet mysteries of life and human nature; more specifically, maybe, being more consciously tied to my own biology than I'm used to being

(b) multiple orgasms (uh, can Jen and I just do a swap here?)

(c) The monthly visits from Aunt Flo (altho, by my age, maybe not so much, eh?)

8) (a) Finish off my backlog of reports at work

(b) Catch up on my reading. . .

-----

And I'm not so clever about dreaming up my own questions; can we wait and see on those?

lime said...

hilary, always glad to give you a giggle

secret agent, the location would encourage my rudest behavior

gman, you can do it. i have faith in you

beach bum, i look forward to your responses

moannie, i have no doubt you will rise well to the challenge

eric, i'll be over shortly

jazz, you can be rude as you want in your responses

jocelyn, so glad my little trips down memory lane don't come off as entirely self-indulgent.

suldog, anything i can do to help

furiousball, i don't quite get the foot thing either but it seems harmless enough

c&c, glad you enjoyed :)

craig, #2 &3, cracked me up completely!

Craig said...

And, 7b - I think breast-feeding would be really cool, too. . .

And 7c - getting hit on by guys would be a pain, methinks. . .

Craig said...

My apologies if I'm seeming to hijack your comment-space, but. . .

I've thought about 7b some more, and I really think being pregnant would be the coolest thing of all. Of course, I'd need longer than a month. . .

;)

S said...

Always a barrel of laughs, you.

Suldog said...

Done, with photos even! Come on over!

http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/2010/09/from-queen-to-meme-to-youyou.html

for a different kind of girl said...

What would I do for a Klondike bar? Is it daring enough to say I'd just head across the road to the grocery store to buy a box?

:)

Kathryn Magendie said...

Over here from Suldog's place - laughing me arse off! ...haw!