Stealing this from Cooper who stole it from Mimi.
1. Do you know your primary colors? Describe for me, if you will, the colors red, blue and green to a blind person.
I know the primary colors are red, YELLOW, and blue.
red – the feeling of sunburn
blue –being thrown naked into a snow bank
green – the smell of the air after a warm summer rain
2. What was your adult summer reading?
You got something against reading to kids?
3. When you assembled your clothes last night for today’s activities – you did do that, didn’t you? – what did you choose to wear?
A Carmen Miranda style fruit bowl hat, a Nehru jacket, camouflage pants, and swim fins tastefully accessorized with cockroach buttons, a twine belt, and strobe light earrings.
4. What’s in your lunchbox?
Pop rocks and Coca-cola. I lost the will to live after yesterday's reading lesson featured yet another Dick and Jane story.
5. Imagine that your teacher is your fantasy crush. What would you bring her/him on the first day of school?
I'd drop a dead mouse at his feet then lick myself clean with my paws.
6. No rest for the weary. Your child’s teacher just called. A big ole’ bully knocked your precious one into a locker for no good reason at all. What is your response to the principal?
Why am I responding to the principal when the teacher is the one who called me?
7. You have been given a pair of scissors, a glue stick and copy of Entertainment Weekly. Whose picture do you cut out and who do you glue to your headboard?
Glue makes things uncomfortably sticky. I'll just use fuzzy handcuffs to secure him.
8. TEN POINT BONUS QUESTION! Now that you have time to watch all those Gilligan’s Island reruns, tell me….What was the Professor really doing with Mary Ann all that time they were lost in the jungle?
Writing the pilot for Lost.
And remember this uplifting quote:
“If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.”
— Edgar W. Howe