I've been sewing furiously. The quilt is fully assembled but now needs every seam clipped before I haul it to the laundomat to wash it. I spent 4 hours sewing last night and another 3 today to finish assembly. I've been clipping for the last 2 hours and still have over half the quilt to clip but my right hand it beginning to curl into a claw and my shoulder is completely tensed up. Diana goes to college tomorrow. It will be interesting to see if I can manage to finish thing fully in time.
The combination of spackle dust lint which coat the mucous membranes of my nose, sinuses, and lungs provide an interesting manner of asphyxiation. Excuse me while I hork up a hair ball and blow some particularly interesting snot rockets. (You know, that rednecky maneuver where you just close one nostril and shoot the snot out the other one.) I figure if I can work up enough respiratory force they could be some deadly projectiles once I give them enough time to harden up.
Showing posts with label plans of a fool. Show all posts
Showing posts with label plans of a fool. Show all posts
Monday, August 24, 2009
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Note to Self...
Even if you pre-assemble this craft so all the kids have to do is string the beads in...
Even if you gather together 6 extra volunteers to help the kids do the stringing...
Even if the schedule gives you 10 minutes more for arts & crafts time than you had before...
This craft should not be attempted with 29 five and six year olds because when you plot them out on a bell curve for manual dexterity, attention span, and frustration threshold you will have about 5 who can do this and 6 who declare they cannot before standing up from the table and leaving. The remainder will try but not have much fun and wind up all yanking your arms, legs, and tee shirt or poking you in the ribs or beating you on the back as they whine, "Mrs. Lime, 1)my string is tangled, 2)Jimmy's beads are all on the floor, 3)my plastic needle came off the string, 4)I want more pink beads instead of green beads 5)I don't like this and I want to go home." As you are calmly trying to sort out the various difficulties one of your adult helpers will become as demanding as the 5 year olds and you will snarl at her to PLEASE give you a moment to deal with the little people grabbing at you because for crying out loud she has had over 5 decades to learn how to take turns and wait patiently. When the 5 & 6 year olds trudge off with tangled messes 10 minutes late to their next activity you will be filled with mortal dread at having to repeat this particular brand of hell with 22 seven and eight year olds a few minutes.
You will come to realize in roughly a decade of doing arts & crafts for VBS week that this was your single worst idea for a project ever. You will remember fondly the trepidation you felt prior to letting the kids paint with dead fish or mess with 5 gallon buckets of tie dye chemicals. You will announce your need for a good stiff drink within earshot of the most temperate and sweetly pure pastor's wife. You will engage in self flagellation because you don't like any kids to go away from arts & crafts feeling frustrated.
However, at the end of the day one of last year's 8 year olds who has moved up to the older group this year will come find you sitting at your table feeling like today was a complete failure. She will say how coming to your arts & crafts time was her favorite part of VBS and she wishes she was still in the lower grade so she could come this year. Her eyes will sparkle as she speaks animatedly of tie dyeing and painting with dead fish. She will give you a hug and say you are the best craft lady ever. You will be very thankful for such a fond remembrance shared with you at that moment.
You will give her the sample you made of today's project...
Partly to say thanks for her kind words...
Partly to see the smile it puts on her face...
Partly because if you ever lay eyes on another one of these cursed projects it may kick in the symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Even if you gather together 6 extra volunteers to help the kids do the stringing...
Even if the schedule gives you 10 minutes more for arts & crafts time than you had before...
This craft should not be attempted with 29 five and six year olds because when you plot them out on a bell curve for manual dexterity, attention span, and frustration threshold you will have about 5 who can do this and 6 who declare they cannot before standing up from the table and leaving. The remainder will try but not have much fun and wind up all yanking your arms, legs, and tee shirt or poking you in the ribs or beating you on the back as they whine, "Mrs. Lime, 1)my string is tangled, 2)Jimmy's beads are all on the floor, 3)my plastic needle came off the string, 4)I want more pink beads instead of green beads 5)I don't like this and I want to go home." As you are calmly trying to sort out the various difficulties one of your adult helpers will become as demanding as the 5 year olds and you will snarl at her to PLEASE give you a moment to deal with the little people grabbing at you because for crying out loud she has had over 5 decades to learn how to take turns and wait patiently. When the 5 & 6 year olds trudge off with tangled messes 10 minutes late to their next activity you will be filled with mortal dread at having to repeat this particular brand of hell with 22 seven and eight year olds a few minutes.
You will come to realize in roughly a decade of doing arts & crafts for VBS week that this was your single worst idea for a project ever. You will remember fondly the trepidation you felt prior to letting the kids paint with dead fish or mess with 5 gallon buckets of tie dye chemicals. You will announce your need for a good stiff drink within earshot of the most temperate and sweetly pure pastor's wife. You will engage in self flagellation because you don't like any kids to go away from arts & crafts feeling frustrated.
However, at the end of the day one of last year's 8 year olds who has moved up to the older group this year will come find you sitting at your table feeling like today was a complete failure. She will say how coming to your arts & crafts time was her favorite part of VBS and she wishes she was still in the lower grade so she could come this year. Her eyes will sparkle as she speaks animatedly of tie dyeing and painting with dead fish. She will give you a hug and say you are the best craft lady ever. You will be very thankful for such a fond remembrance shared with you at that moment.
You will give her the sample you made of today's project...
Partly to say thanks for her kind words...
Partly to see the smile it puts on her face...
Partly because if you ever lay eyes on another one of these cursed projects it may kick in the symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
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