Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Note to Self...

Even if you pre-assemble this craft so all the kids have to do is string the beads in...

Even if you gather together 6 extra volunteers to help the kids do the stringing...

Even if the schedule gives you 10 minutes more for arts & crafts time than you had before...

This craft should not be attempted with 29 five and six year olds because when you plot them out on a bell curve for manual dexterity, attention span, and frustration threshold you will have about 5 who can do this and 6 who declare they cannot before standing up from the table and leaving. The remainder will try but not have much fun and wind up all yanking your arms, legs, and tee shirt or poking you in the ribs or beating you on the back as they whine, "Mrs. Lime, 1)my string is tangled, 2)Jimmy's beads are all on the floor, 3)my plastic needle came off the string, 4)I want more pink beads instead of green beads 5)I don't like this and I want to go home." As you are calmly trying to sort out the various difficulties one of your adult helpers will become as demanding as the 5 year olds and you will snarl at her to PLEASE give you a moment to deal with the little people grabbing at you because for crying out loud she has had over 5 decades to learn how to take turns and wait patiently. When the 5 & 6 year olds trudge off with tangled messes 10 minutes late to their next activity you will be filled with mortal dread at having to repeat this particular brand of hell with 22 seven and eight year olds a few minutes.

You will come to realize in roughly a decade of doing arts & crafts for VBS week that this was your single worst idea for a project ever. You will remember fondly the trepidation you felt prior to letting the kids paint with dead fish or mess with 5 gallon buckets of tie dye chemicals. You will announce your need for a good stiff drink within earshot of the most temperate and sweetly pure pastor's wife. You will engage in self flagellation because you don't like any kids to go away from arts & crafts feeling frustrated.

However, at the end of the day one of last year's 8 year olds who has moved up to the older group this year will come find you sitting at your table feeling like today was a complete failure. She will say how coming to your arts & crafts time was her favorite part of VBS and she wishes she was still in the lower grade so she could come this year. Her eyes will sparkle as she speaks animatedly of tie dyeing and painting with dead fish. She will give you a hug and say you are the best craft lady ever. You will be very thankful for such a fond remembrance shared with you at that moment.

You will give her the sample you made of today's project...

Partly to say thanks for her kind words...

Partly to see the smile it puts on her face...

Partly because if you ever lay eyes on another one of these cursed projects it may kick in the symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

19 comments:

G-Man said...

YAY!!!
VBS...ROCKS with Miss Lime!!!

SignGurl said...

You brought tears to my eyes as I remembered VBS crafts of my own.

You ARE the queen of crafts, even if things didn't quite go as planned.

Lisa said...

gourds. shoulda stuck with gourds.

ok - so maybe i'm a teensy bit ashamed/embarrassed to admit my actual first reaction when i clicked the link to see the project was, "oh my god she tried this with five year olds?"

*giggle*

i have some 10 year olds in my 4th grade sunday school class that would be challenged by this. i feel for ya sister!

furiousBall said...

ahh that's really cool. oh oh oh... i need to post a pic for you to check out.. my son made his own tie-dye at summer camp and i think it turned out really cool, i'd love to hear what you thought too

Phaedrous said...

I can see it now - Saint Lime.

P. (TIC)

Kathryn said...

Who would have ever thought beads and string could cause so much trouble? It is good to know. I've made a note! ;)
At least it ended well, right?

Craver Vii said...

Crafts. Looooooved making them as a kid... NEVER taught them after I was all growed-up! I was one of the kids who got waaaay caught up in the details and never finished... but I loved it.

Thanks for serving. That one girl speaks for many others who enjoy what you've done, but haven't verbalized it. ;-)

James Goodman, Author said...

That is cool, that the older kid was able to put it all in perspective. :D I think it was a fabulous craft and a great idea, but it sounds as though they may've been a bit young for it. So, I guess you could say you're ahead of your time? :D

Rob said...

Tee hee hee! And you THOUGHT you were never going to be punished for those prior acts of irreverence/blasphemy! God has a VERY long memory! ;-) Hahahahahahaha! Oh, sorry... I just can't help myself here! [Snicker!] [Snort!] Oh wow! Must... stop.... laughhhhhhhhhing!!!!!!! Oh, God! My sides are hurting!

Whew! OK, I feel better now...

Just feel grateful you didn't choose the "Science Water Globe" project for your little charges! Then, not only would you have had all of the above whining/complaints/issues -- but you would have sent them on to their next activity with wet clothes and marker stains from head to toe!

So, give yourself credit for making a wise choice, Queen of VBS Crafts!

Hehehehehehehehe....





You KNOW I love you, don't you Michelle?! ;-)

S said...

Leave it to you to bring the DNA kits to VBS! Yay!

Suldog said...

I may have said this before (or similar) but if you were my teacher, I'd be an exemplary star pupil. Would that more of my real former teachers had your flair.

Mona said...

that is so cool. Learn while you play! That is like two in one ice cream!

(((HUGS)))

bookbinder said...

I have an idea for next year, chain saw ice sculpting. You can use wood too if that works better.

Moosekahl said...

Okay...it might not have worked with 5 and 6 year old fingers but it's still pretty cool! You are still cool!

DianeCA said...

I laughed my a... off when I looked at this craft!! What on earth do 5 and 6 year olds understand about DNA!! I can see this as a nightmare!!

NYD said...

I am going to order them for my staff to do with the kids when I go on my next vacation. Yeahhhhhhh, the revenge will be sweet! thanks for the tip.

airplanejayne said...

brought a smile to my face, sweetie!

My worst VBS craft project involved a balloon, white glue, and yards and yards and yards of string.

It was supposed to end up being this incredible string shade for a hanging light.

It didn't. It wasn't. It turned into a gluey glob of sticky tangly string.

10 years later -- I STILL REMEMBER IT!!!!

:)

snowelf said...

I loved VBS. I once got to paint a little plaster of paris Jesus sign...
Nothing compared to painting with dead fish though. ;)

--snow

Cosima said...

Wow, I love the DNS beads! Most of my arts and crafts projects with little man end with me doing at least 60% of the project. We are still working in having patience...lol

It's all forgotten though, when he gives me a sticky kiss on my cheek, and says "I love you mummy!"