Slice of Lime-Amazing Feats of Strength

If you saw these two people in the street, which would you wager could tear a phone book in half?

I'm pretty sure you wouldn't gamble on me.

I'm significantly smaller, weaker,

and I have that left hand, Janita, which was demolished 4 years ago.

Well, I'm pretty pleased to say that not only did I best the big guy with enormous hands, but I also bested another guy who is a 3rd degree black belt.  They each tried and failed to produce any results.  The black belt had even boasted that he knew the "technique" required.  When they both failed I took the phone book and set out to see if I could discover the "technique."  After my first inch or two of success I began giggling.  

Then I tore a few more inches and giggled more.

 I actually shocked myself when I got to a certain point and it became apparent I'd really be able to rip the entire thing

.

Let's give it up for the short, overweight, middle-aged moms with a bum hand.

Oh yeah, I admit...

after succeeding I went into the office where the two guys were and held out the rent phone book as I asked,

"Can one of you girls get rid of this for me?"

Friday 55-Sweet Release

It's anchored between my thighs
in an inescapable vise-like grip.
My hands clutch it
trying to work toward release
yet direct things
so I won't be splattered.
I grunt and groan in exertion
struggling for satisfaction.
Tension mounts.
Finally, I feel something begin to give way...
a satisfying pop...
and the jar lid comes off.

(Yep, that's how I open jars now since Janita lacks some of the strength she used to have. Go tell
G-man if you wrote a 55 today.)

Slice of Lime-Janita and Bella

This is my guitar, Bella. I inherited her from my grandfather. There are a lot of good memories of him playing her to me when I was little. I always wanted to play but when the kids were small I never had time or money to really devote to lessons and learning. I took this picture after I had been taking lessons for about a year and a half and just shortly before I demolished my arm. That put a fairly abrupt halt to whatever tunes I was putting out.




It took a lot of months before I could even try to curl my hand around the neck. It didn't work very well at all. In fact, it was intensely painful after about 2 minutes and my hand went completely numb. Every 2 or 3 months I'd take her out of her case, get as far as tuning her, and try a few chords only to feel like there was a knife sticking right into the part of my wrist where the bones had once protruded...and then the numbness. Poor Bella would be returned to her case once more. If Andy is reading this I know he's going to be about ready to burst a vein in his head because he has sent me all sorts of ideas from trying open tuning to playing her like a slide guitar. He's been a great encouragement that way. I can't really explain why I continue to torment Bella and Janita the way I do. I have to admit, it defies logic.



A few weeks ago I tried again. I made it through about 15 minutes before the stabbing and the numbness started. I was pretty excited about that. I haven't been at all consistent about working with Bella but we've gotten together several times in the past few weeks. My form is terrible, the sound is not pretty, but Janita is tolerating it enough to try. Of course, after 3 years of no playing I have forgotten almost everything but it's a start. I had to relearn everything else from scratch too. And so Bella, Janita, and I slowly begin again...

Da Count-3 Years? Really?

Three years ago today I thought I could hang onto a zipline without a harness and manage quite well since my then 10 year old son could do that with no problem. I failed to consider I have considerably more body mass and far less upper body strength than a wiry 10 year old boy. Gravity drove that lesson home quite emphatically when I plummeted to earth and completely demolished my left arm from the elbow to the fingers. If you'd like the gory details with a drug addled twist feel free to peruse them. The faint of heart need not worry, no pictures of the gore are included. If you want to chuckle over what I look liked stoned out of my mind on the remnants of anesthesia and lots of Percoset go here.

It was a complex enough injury (smashed head of the radius, compound fracture of same, dislocation of the elbow by several inches, shredded ligaments and tendons) that my surgeon gave a fairly grave report when he spoke to me the first time after reassembly humpty dumpty. At that time he wasn't sure if I had also sustained nerve damage or how much. He kept repeating that I may not ever regain full use. He described in detail the various repairs he had done the limitations I would notice once the cast was off...basically, expect it to be a useless appendage dangling off me. (Oh hey, bonus! After the other repairs my surgical punch card was full so he added in carpal tunnel surgery while he was at it.). At that time I also could not feel the three middle fingers on my left hand and finally looked him in the eye when he was done and said, "So what you're saying is when I can intentionally flip you the bird I will know I have recovered?" My surgeon finally let his mouth curl into a smile and said, "You're going to be just fine. It will be a long road, but you'll do well even if you don't get full use back."

My occupational therapist took one look at me during my first appointment with her and I caught a fleeting glimpse of sheer astonishment and total bewilderment on her face before she regained a professional calm. My arm and hand were completely useless. No strength, no range of motion to speak of, and I couldn't even touch thumb to finger, much less make a fist (the surgeon had not lied about the uselessness). When I was finally discharged from her care after 6 and a half months of therapy 3 times a week she admitted that on my first day she was a bit panicked. She just didn't even know where to begin because I was such a train wreck. She also added she was glad to see who my surgeon had been because she knew at least I had been put back together skillfully. I earned bonus points for using my bad hand (dubbed Janita by Lecram) to do things she didn't ask me to do like cleaning up various torture devices she used on me. I also asked innumerable questions about the anatomy and function of my hand and I truly celebrated each tiny increment of improvement. She and my other therapist celebrated with me just as much. The two of them were truly wonderful people who made a long and painful process something I did not dread.

There were a LOT of things I couldn't do for a long time. Even when I was discharged there were still several things I still was not quite able to do and I was still dealing with a certain low level of pain even when at rest. I was thankful for what I had gained though, no doubt about that. Winter was not at all pleasant because the cold and damp made Janita ache and throb. I figured that would certainly not improve with passing years since x-rays revealed a lot of post traumatic arthritis in the joint that first year already. I am pleased to report this past winter, harsh as it was weatherwise, was really not a bad year for Janita.

All that to say, three years out and I am still profoundly grateful for the things I can do again. I still find myself smiling and whispering a prayer of thanks when I can unstick a stubborn jar lid (although I have a slightly unorthodox method these days) or carry a bunch of grocery bags. I do not take for granted being able to gather up my hair into a ponytail when it's hot. I was actually thrilled to be the official "french braider" of the marching band last year. (The girls are not allowed to have their hair loose. It all has to be neatly tucked up under their hats.) That was a major accomplishment of manual dexterity in my book. I am so glad to be able to give decent back rubs again (but just for the record I am every bit as glad to be on the receiving end of those too!) I have done tons of tie dyeing in the last year which also requires a certain dexterity. I am sure I would have been able to figure out how to do that one handed, but being able to use both my hands to do it is a gift. This year I started the big job of making a quilt. I wasn't sure how well Janita would hold up for the demand of cutting out 900 blocks of fabric. She done good and I was again very thankful. There are a hundred little things I can do that I continue to be amazed by 3 years later, things I never thought twice about before. At the same time, I rather like that I learned how to do certain things one handed. You guys out there may think it's pretty impressive to release your dates from their brassieres using only one hand but I can get a bra ON myself and hooked properly with only one hand. Ok, I realize none of the men are impressed by that because it defeats their purpose but dat's mad skillz, baby.

I have come to realize I am never going to be able to do a proper push-up. Then again I couldn't do them before I mangled my arm. Janita just will not bend that way AND bear weight at the same time. Ain't gonna happen. No great loss. In fact, I am rather glad to have a justifiable excuse for NOT doing push-ups. I am not sure I will ever do a cartwheel off a diving board again. Yes, that I did every summer until I broke myself. One must celebrate the commencement of pool season. I shall have to celebrate in alternate ways now. Waves sweetly to the crowd, gently brushes the hair out of my face, smiles demurely, and.....CANNONBALL!!!!!

Janita may never be 100% but she has done so much better than anyone expected. So this week, a couple of days early, I am offering up a count of the myriad skills I have regained and those I learned anew. I just don't take any of them for granted any more.

Da Count-Second Chances

This may ramble a bit.

I was all set to use today's count to give thanks for how far I've come since last April 15. And truly, I am very grateful for that. In some ways I think I have exceeded the expectation of the doctor (actually functionality), in other ways I have not come as far as they hoped (pain level). Regardless, I am still very thankful that if anyone was going to get hurt, it was me, not one of my kids (no mother wants to see her children injured so badly) or Mr. Lime (we'd have been screwed if he'd missed so much work). That I wasn't paralyzed, killed, or left a vegetable (given I landed inches away from a boulder that would have dashed my brains or broken a back or neck quite effectively) is a major thing to count.

My family and friends and so many of you provided support in so many ways. I had amazing therapists who made hard and painful work as pleasant as it could be and always greeted me with a smile. As a result, most of the modifications I still make to do what needs doing are pretty small, or at least natural to me now. Janita (for the newcomers here, that's the name for my left arm/wrist/hand) is here to stay but she and I are working together cooperatively most of the time.

Last week though, I sat here staring at my guitar and boohooing a continuing inability to play it. I spoke with Andy about it and I have to give him a big thanks for some really practical suggestions and a boatload of concrete steps that will hopefully get me back into it. I need to thank him for a ray of hope shed on a longtime dream that I thought might need to be buried. Really....thank you, Andy. Another thing to add to the count.

So then this week I was a completely miserable human being. I was angry, frustrated, prone to outbursts with little provocation. Why? I made it through Easter without any broken bones. I saw my family and had a terrific time. This Sunday will be the official one year mark and I've already listed all the other things I am counting. Life is groovy. Well, Monday I completely messed up my back. I spent most of the week flattened, intimate with an icepack, unable to do much of anything, including sleeping.

I can honestly say that during the last year with Janita, although the initial accident and immediate aftermath was the most painful thing I've ever felt in my life (and that includes a c-sec with failed anesthesia) bar none and required a very long rehabilitation. I can count on one hand the hours I spent feeling really down about it. My back is a different story. I screw that up and I go immediately into misery. I herniated a disk 3 years ago and they threatened me with scalpels and such. It's been 14 months since I had such a bad flare-up as this one. That's actually a record length of time so I need to count that I didn't have to contend with it during the time I needed to really focus on Janita.

Nonetheless, I've been a real nasty person to live with this week. It bothers me that I've been this way. I hate that my gut reaction in this situation (not normally in others) is worry (oh hell, are they gonna decide THIS is the time to carve into me?), that I snap at everyone around me, and that I wind up laying around feeling useless and wondering how long I will be incapacitated. Last night I had an epic wig out on the girls that I am certainly not proud of at all. They forgave me and we wound up having a pleasant evening in the end. So I'd better count forgiveness too this week.

UPDATE: I thanked Andy for the guitar advice but I forgot to specifically thank Logo and G-Man for the time they spent listening to me whine about my back and the laughs they provided this week. Thanks. MWAH!

HNT and Da Count-I Gotta Hand It To You

Janita and I won't be around tomorrow since it's the big day she has all the implanted metal removed. I wasn't sure I'd bother with HNT this week or not and I knew I wouldn't be posting tomorrow. I've done a lot of whining lately about how much I don't like surgery. I whined about Mr. Lime. I've been rather grumpy and impatient this week. But I thought I should at least get the count in.

Janita has done really well up until now. There are some things she still struggles with and she lets me know when she is unhappy with things I make her do. So now hopefully we can make her feel better and more able to cooperate. So for HNT here she is letting you all know she's OK for now but will be even more OK soon.

For an early edition of Da Count I need to focus on all the really good things rather than the crap I worry about. So I am counting hands.

1. The amazingly skilled hands of my surgeon who put me back together so skillfully that my therapists knew from looking at my scars that I had the best doctor out there.

2. The gentle yet firm hands of my two therapists who have known when it's best to push Janita and when it's best to let her rest.

3. The tender hands of my kids, Mr. Lime, my mom and dad, who took really good care of me in the moments right after I fell and in the early days when I had trouble doing even simple things.

4. The generous hands of the folks who brought meals, did some cleaning, and drove me around when I came home from the hospital.

5. The hands of bloggy friends and real life friends who used their hands to type comments of encouragment, write out get well cards, or dial a phone to check on me.

Happy HNT and thanks again.

HNT-A Radical Cure

Yes, this is a very boring, not at all artistic picture. But it amuses me, so deal with it. Check those long fingernails. There's a whole hand full of them. I have been a lifelong nailbiter. As a kid, I always gnawed my nails to the quick. As an adult, I sort of go through cycles. Sometimes they grow, sometimes I bite them. Even when they grow, there's almost always a broken one because they are thin and brittle. Not being able to use my left hand or get it to my mouth for 7 weeks has resulted in a full hand of long nails. Quite bizarre. Whaddya think, should I let them grow long enough to challenge those swami guys in the Guinness Book of World Records? My right hand is as shabby looking as ever. Maybe I'll tell people I'm a left handed classical guitarist, hahahaha.

As a bonus you can see one of my 5 new scars there on my wrist. That's one of 2 where I had ligaments and tendons repaired.

Happy HNT!

Oddly Gratifying

I was evaluated for Occupational Therapy on Friday. I thought it went well. I liked the therapist. She struck me as quite competent and also easy to gain rapport with. She seemed pleased with what progress I've already made and confident of what I could acheive. She was delighted to find out who my surgeon was because 'he always puts people back together very carefully and with minimal soft tissue damage so it makes our job easier.' I have been very happy with the surgeon each time I've seen him but was glad for more confirmation of his skill.

Near the end of the session the OT was massaging my scars to see how 'stuck' they were. She sort of ooohed and ahhhed to herself, 'Oh, they are nice and flat and smooth, few adhesions. These are going to perform nicely!' I had to giggle to myself. It felt like my arm was some car a teenage boy was drooling over. I enjoyed her glee over something other people would look at with revulsion, not because I care about how people look at my scars but because it was an indication that she enjoys her work and her training gives her a unique perspective.

It made me think about how we all have jobs or hobbies as individuals and our training or passions allow us to derive pleasure in things others don't see. For example, I thought inventorying a brand new library was a REALLY fun activity. All the shiny, new, library-bound hardcovers were all lined up in orderly fashion on sturdy new shelves. The spines gave that nice little crackle as new pages came unstuck for the first time. And new book smell is so enticing. All that knowledge, entertainment, and inspiration was all lined up for eager hands, and eyes, and minds. I enjoyed it immensely even though lots of folks might regard doing inventory as a sedative.

So, I'm thinking about scars and new libraries and I am wondering about your job or hobby. What part of it do people outside the field/interest look at as strange or boring but gives you great pleasure? I know I have a Physician's assistant, writers, musicians, seamstresses, homemakers, gardeners, computer programmers, a principal, a playwrite, a truck driver, an accountant, and others who read me. Tell me about that oddly gratifying part of your work. It can't be anything that others would obviosly see. Nothing like a book sold, or the applause of an audience. Drop a comment and give me some strange pleasure.

HNT-Celebrating with Janita

As per Os's request here is a repost of the first HNT shot taken specifically for the occasion. I posted a few other pics before I got my digital camera but this was the first one I planned and it coincided with Halloween.

I'm NOT coming out. Nu-uh! No way! It's scary out there! There are monsters and witches and goblins. I'm going to do what I did when I was a kid. I'm going to hide under my covers and not move a muscle. If I am very still and make sure no body parts show or hang over the edge of the bed then the slimy, creepy monsters under my bed won't find me. I have my giant stuffed animals to guard me like when I was little. I'm going to stay hidden under my covers until all the scary monsters go away......I'm being very still, very quiet...not moving......oh no......my foot is showing.......oh no!!!! That means the monsters under my bed might see me! Is that a tentacle I see reaching up for me????? EEEEEEEEEKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!

Happy Halloween HNT!





Now for this week I needed to celebrate but I have something bigger than the HNTiversary to celebrate. I was told I'd have multiple casts for many weeks. I had one for 3 weeks and the doc said that's it. I gave Lecram naming rights for my damaged arm. He dubbed her 'Janita.' I just don't follow rules well, which sort of got me in trouble in the first place. But it's my nature to thumb my nose at authority so here are Janita and I doing just that...thumbing my nose at the folks who say I should grow up and act my age, and at the people who say 'I told you so.' And I guess maybe it's a little rebellious of me not to have ballons and streamers etc for the anniversary. Oh well, sue me. I'm celebrating my way.



Happy HNTiversary!

Good News/Bad News

I saw the doctor yesterday and he had told me at the previous appointment to expect a wrist cast after he removed the big green one. I arrived, had it removed & had x-rays. The doctor studied them rather intently, examined me and declared with a big smile, 'Looks like you don't need the next cast. Sling only.' WOOHOO! Still no driving allowed but no cast was a really terrific surprise. He gave me a few very basic motions he wants me to work on for 2 weeks and then I start physical/occupational therapy.

The day before I saw him I was also able to go without any painkillers and he was pretty pleased with that too. I've needed a couple since then because of all the handling, but that's to be expected. Then again, I was so excited to get home and give my arm a good washing I promptly rammed it into the doorjamb on the way to the bathroom. If you heard a bloodcurdling shriek ay 3:30pm EDT that was me after I wailed my hand and dropped to my knees. (This is a test of the emergency lime alert system) I am such a spaz it's ridiculous. I iced it afterwards and I don't think I did any damage.

This week the various bills have been coming in as well. If you're reading this you're sitting down which is a good thing. If you've got drugs or booze nearby now would be a good time to take a hit. Let me share...

surgical fees: $8,475

med-evac helicopter: $14,907.20

3 day hospital stay: $50,204.46

having an arm that works: an arm and a leg

We haven't even considered what PT/OT will cost. I noticed in the hospital PT & OT each charged $400 for evaluation. This consisted of them watching me put on socks and pj pants. Funny, I thought I got to charge people for watching me like that. Oh wait, the one girl picked the leaves out of my hair that no one had bothered to clean out for 2 days. In the ER they did cut up my favorite tie dye shirt and a bra. Maybe I can bill them for the destroyed items and the peepshow. I think there were about 6 guys swarming me. Hehehe.

Fortunately, the insurance has already taken care of the surgical fees and the hospital stay. The helicopter is under review for its medical necessity. Hhhmm, they thought I had 3 major fractures. I was allergic to every drug the regular ambulance had on board. I was in shock and the local hospital told the paramedics they'd transfer me anyway. Yeah, I only wanted the thrill of a helicopter ride. Sheesh.

I am deeply grateful for all the folks who put me back together again. I feel I was well cared for by almost everyone. I am seriously relieved that most of the bill is paid for. Healing from something like this is actually rather priceless. I just really wonder about folks who have crappy insurance or no insurance in a system like this. I can't help thinking about some poor person that needs to find $73K to fix a mangled arm. My first house didn't cost that much money. What's wrong with that picture? My gratitude is mixed with sadness for someone less fortunate.

HNT-Not Again!

Last week I showed my stoner self here and my casted self at Hijacked. Well, this week my son managed to break his thumb. Chip off the old block? Limelet not falling far from the tree (zipline)? Some sort of awful curse upon the House of Lime? I just don't know, but here we are gingerly holding wounded hands. Maybe next week I should have all the members of my household shown in Michelin Man type padding to protect us from further damage.

If you need to know how to safely play along click the scrolling link in the sidebar.

Happy HNT and be safe!

Wednesday WARNING!

The Surgeon General has determined that exposure to Lime can result in serious bodily injury, mental deficiency, emotional instability, simple chronic halitosis, sweaty palms, bad hair days, or a bad case of the heebie jeebies at the very least.

I dunno what the heck is going on but here at the House of Lime we've had our second person to fracture a bone in as many weeks. No, it was not due to zipline use or other death defying activities. Isaac slipped in the shower Sunday night and jammed his thumb pretty nicely. We iced it, gave him some Advil, let him stay home Monday since it was his dominant hand and he would have a hard time writing. We thought he'd be ok. It got more and more swollen so we had it checked out Tuesday night. Lo and behold, the kid has a hairline fracture and got splinted until he can see the orthopedist. Little League just started for him too and he's likely out for the season. I'm very disappointed for him but he is so far taking it like a trooper. Poor guy.



I'm not paranoid or a worrier by nature but I'm kinda lookin' over my shoulder now...

Stoned HNT

This is Lime



This is Lime on drugs (for a severely broken arm, post-surgery)


Any questions?

Diana took this just hours after I got home from my 3 day stint in the hospital. She thought it was quite funny how stoned I was.

If you want to see my cast and a cast of other injured characters check out the Hijackers.

If you have questions on how to play check the scrolling orange link in the sidebar.

Happy HNT

Weird News Wednesday & Update

I don't want my arm to be the only focus of this blog but several people wanted to know what the doc said. I had my follow-up appt. yesterday. Splints and soft bandages were replaced by a hard cast which allows a slight elbow flexion to prevent that joint from completely locking. He said the way to treat my elbow is contraindicated by what my wrist needs so we have to come up with a happy medium. I feel very comfortable with this doc since he specializes in complex hand/wrist/elbow injuries AND he has a very good demeanor, not rushing me along, ample time for questions, full explanations. I got x-rays, sutures were removed, and of course the whole recasting procedure meant my nekkid arm was manipulated quite a lot. So now it hurts like hell and I've upped the meds again, which I'm not too keen on. Three weeks in this cast then re-evaluate and probably a different sort of cast. The nurses and cast guy both seemed impressed with my range of motion and pain tolerance. That was nice to hear but I'd really like a shot of Demerol right now. Ack.


Onto the weird news...

HAYWARD, Calif. - A man who spent five hours naked and stuck in the chimney of his stepmother's home was arrested on suspicion of being under the influence of drugs, police said.

Police say Michael Urbano, 23, locked himself out of the house early Saturday morning and decided to get in on a cable TV wire through the chimney. But the wire broke and Urbano fell, getting stuck about three-quarters of the way down. He was freed when a firefighter pushed him to safety.

"We get him up, and he's naked as a jaybird," said Hayward police Lt. Gary Branson. "He tells us he took his clothes off because there would be less friction going down the chute. We did find his clothes. So that part checked out."

Authorities were called about 6:15 a.m. Saturday. A neighbor heard "faint, distressing" calls since about 2:30 a.m. and decided to call police. Police say it probably wasn't a comfortable few hours for Urbano. "He's not fat," Branson said, "but he used to play football. He's not that little."

(All I will say is I may be stoned but it still doesn't sound smart to me. Now maybe if he'd greased himself up with some Crisco...)

Blogging Under the Influence

I'm still on Vicodin for the pain. It makes stringing coherent thoughts together a challenge at times. So I'm just going to toss out some stuff and if it makes sense, great. If not, you'll know why.

• My first night home from the hospital I sat at the dinner table desperately trying to follow the thread of conversation. Alas, it was a fruitless endeavor for my addled brain. Diana looked at me and announced, 'Mom, you are soooooo stoned!' I slurred back, 'Yep, ain't a pretty picture is it.' Then they all had fun mimicking my glazed look. Good clean family fun.
• Mr. Lime called me stubborn for insisting I could button my own jeans ( I did it anyway). Later, when I was struggling to put on my own bra (try it one handed ladies, it's a challenge, but I did it anyway) he asked me if it was my silent request for help or if I really wanted to do it myself because he wasn't sure. He's been taking really good care of me.
• My dad came up yesterday since Mr.Lime and the kids were gone most of the day. We both agreed it was good to have a semi-cool story to go with the mangled arm rather than something lame like tripping over something. He called me stubborn too but said it as a compliment. I'll take that.
• My mom was here the first two days after I came home. That's a good thing, she's innovative and helped me figure some things out and enforced naptimes while lingering anasthesia wore off and the painkiller dose was double. See, I have this stubborn streak...but she can be even more stubborn.
• At dinner I was trying to butter a piece of bread one handed. Isaac gently asked if I'd like help. I said, 'yes thank you.' and we giggled because not long ago I had to butter his bread.
• When I announced my major accomplishment for the day was getting a back hooking bra on all by myself, Calypso thought that was pretty cool. She had to go try. She said it was hard. She also said I ought to keep a list of all my firsts so I can look back over them and see my progress if I have a day when I feel down. Smart kid. I think I'll take her advice.

Well, I promise not to bore everyone with constant posts about my arm/hand but that's where I'm at today. Tomorrow I have my follow up with the surgeon and I hope I can get an idea of how long I'll be casted at least.

Happy Monday all.

The Gory Details

Saturday night, Isaac and I went out to the backyard to play on the newly souped up zipline. I had been complaining the old one was too slow. Not thrilling enough. The new one flew like greased lightning. I couldn't wait. I watched Isaac zoom on it then it was my turn. We have a footloop for safety but I was afraid I'd not be able to get my foot out in time and bash into a tree a la George of the Jungle. So I opted to merely hold on to the big knots. After all, my 10 year old son could do it. The old lady can too, right? Wrong, very wrong.

I held on, left the launch pad, lost my grip and plummetted about 9 feet, landing on my back. My first thought and Isaac's first question were whether or not I'd hurt my neck and back since I have permanent damage in both from car accidents. Those felt fine. I just could not move my arm.

Isaac handled himself so well I could not be prouder. He kept composure even after seeing my arm, which Mr. Lime descrbed as 's-shaped.' Isaac called for Daddy and waited with me until he came. Mr. Lime gasped when he saw my arm and told me immediately it was broken. I knew that meant it was bad.

Ambulance was called. All the EMTs gasped at my arm. They decided the local hospital was inadequate for my injuries so a Med-Evac helicopter was called. Oh, yeah, they carried me out on a backboard since the gurney couldn't handle the terrain. It was fairly excruciating. I squeezed the tar out of Diana's hand the whole way. She kept calmly talking me thru it, 'Squeeze harder Mom. It's ok. We're almost there.' While they secured me and my dangling arm I saw Isaac crying and called him over. Diana said he should hold my hand. He did. I told him I was proud of how he helped and that I'd be ok. Then he nodded and gave me the 3 quick hand squeezes that are our secret code for 'I love you.' Mr. Lime told me he'd get Calypso home from the event she was at and meet me at the hospital I was being airlifted to.

I remember being loaded into the helicopter. Those things are TINY inside. The crew drugged me up good. At the hospital I had all my clothes pulled off and ya know...I was glad I had on clean underwear! I was bummed out when they cut off my favorite tie dye shirt. Ok, crazy I know. But I was bummed. I told them not to throw it away. I sort of wondered why they felt the need to ask permission to cut off my bra since the rest of me was already nekkid. Is it just me? Yes, we must maintain perky, pushed up, lace covered breasts even in emergencies. Sheesh cut it off already.

I waited a few hours for surgery in a blur of pain and drugs like I have never felt before. In the wee hours of the morning I had my arm reassembled. Dislocation (by about 6 inches) of the elbow. Dislocation of the radial head, compound radial fracture all put back together. Oh, and every tendon and ligament torn or shredded. The surgeon told me he was sort of amazed by the scope of the injuries.

Three days and many drugs later I came home from the hospital. I'm told I will have a very long and painful rehab and it is uncertain whether or not I will regain full function. Well, dang there goes my hope of being a famous guitarist. Is that a heavy sigh of relief I hear...why yes, it is! Hehehehe

Ok, so long and painful road or not I have an awful lot to be thankful for.
1. It was only my hand and arm, not my neck and back.
2. I'm right-handed and my left was injured.
3. I still HAVE the hand and arm.
4. It was me and not Mr. Lime or one of my kids or one of their friends who got hurt.
5. I have amazing kids who can handle a crisis.
6. Mr. Lime is certified in advanced first aid and knew how to deal with me going into shock before EMTs came and kept himself and the kids calm.
7. Even if I don't get full function back life will go on. I had an uncle who was an amputee and he did more with one hand than many people do with 2. He was the toughest man I ever knew. I have a good example in him.

So that's the story. I'm still on all sorts of pain meds so if my posts seem odd at times or if I leave a strange comment at your place or don't get around as often to all of you, please understand, I'm still reading. Just not typing as much. All sorts of one-handed typist jokes could be made. Heheehe. Thanks so much for all the well wishes already. You all keep me smiling!

I'll Never Grow Up

What do Venus de Milo, NO NUKES and Lime have in common?


We've all been disarmed.


I didn't fall off the face of the earth. I fell off the zipline (not the swing) in our yard. Mangled my lower arms in ways that make grown men wince. Had a bunch of metal put in to hold it all together. I'm on all sorts of groovy drugs. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! Let the jokes commence. Laughter is the best medicine.